The annoyingly-titled Jamie Saves Our Bacon sees everyone's least favourite chef telling us what's what in pigland. Tonight's show began with Jamie telling us we were going to have a cracking show; surely he means crackling? Enjoy that crap attempt at making you laugh, because it's the only one you're going to get.
I was there at Wembley Arena when Morrissey said 'there are three things wrong with modern England; one, Jamie Oliver, Jamie Oliver and Jamie Oliver.' as a reaction to JOL slaughtering a lamb on TV. Personally, I just hate Jamie Oliver because he's a lisping twat. And the prospect of piggies in an abbotoir doesn't sound cracking to me. It sounds horrific. I also heard on the grapevine (I couldn't bear to watch the You Tube clip) about Jamie gassing a bunch of chicks 'to a show the harsh reality'. Which is a bit like me saying, 'this is the sad reality of Ian Huntley' and slaughtering two kids in the bathtub to demonstrate.
Has Jamie got a mullet now? I digress.
Oh God. I knew this programme would be hard to watch. I feel genuinely guilty about eating pork anyway, whether it's totally humane or not, but the EU pigs basically in crates was absolutely fucking disgusting. It made me sick to my stomach.
The 'Pig Brother' thing of putting people in the same kind of cages the pigs would be in was a bit crass, but I guess it proved the point.
I had to fast forward the killing. Yeah I am burying my head in the sand. I am a coward. It was kind of weird the way they shoehorned some cooking in there, that felt a bit peculiar.
I didn't really like the format of this show, I found it a bit annoying the way Jamie lorded it round in front of everyone. It didn't inspire like Hugh's show did, even though pigs are a lot more loveable than chickens.
So is Jamie an enemy or a friend of animal rights? I'll leave that up to you. But cruelty to pigs? Not pukka.
But god, I love sausages. And I'm sorry.