Big Brother 10: The Mighty Douche has left the building

So tonight's the night! Team Tyranny are going to get a sharp slap in the face courtesy of us!
Noirin has fucked herself because she's made an enemy of her allies, and even the thickies are suspicious of her now. LOVED Freddie in that argument last night, he was on fire!
Noirin, please wash that hoodie. It's a very nice hoodie, but you do milk it. It must be getting musty.
Karly's judgement of character is poor. Kris WAS a womaniser, but isn't anymore (yes, because he's on TV, stupid.) Oh and when 'Halfwit doesn't speak, he's brilliant'. Same for you, Karly.
Liked Marcus chatting with Freddie. Siavash, they didn't actually SAY that you were up for nomination, so don't swear on your mum's life. Siavash will not go, anyway. But what if his nominations get cancelled?
I liked Karly's geisha make-up. Who did all the face painting, some of them looked really good. Freddie was so right in that diary room. Kris is the one who needs his head cutting off for the good of the group.
Noirin, 'Freddie you're a funny little creature, annoying but lovable.' Patronising bitch.
Rodrigo is ALWAYS brushing his teeth. Luckily, it's normally fascinating. His tongue scraping technique on the live feed yesterday was a masterclass in oral evacuation.
Aw, looks at Kris in bed with Charlie and Sophie. How romantic. Shame it's all going to be over.
YES! Good has won against evil, even though evil was prettier. I was glad Kris defended Sophie being called 'Dogface'; I wish they'd get over that, it's so dumb.
Haha, Kris got called a loser and a bully and even the psychologist put it on him. I suspect when they were showing him clips of him in the diary room he was just staring at his own hair.
I'm not sorry to see Kris go, and watching them all grizzling on the live bit afterwards was just delightful.
Bye then, Kris. long live king Freddie!

Big Brother 10: Quiet, please

Words can barely describe the unbridled joy I felt watching last night's live feed and finding out that Kris and Sophie were up for nomination, too. I actually don't mind Sophie that much, but Kris? Oh, it's just too good. Also, having to watch him sit in silence was highly enjoyable. When he's not talking hateful twaddle, you can actually enjoy his good looks again.
It was like Charlie was making up for lost time when they finally let him speak again. He just kept repeating 'I had to do it for ten hours, you only had to do it for four' to Kris and Sophie. Who cares, the result is the same, so STFU (again).
Now I wanna know if their nominations got cancelled, too (oh, they didn't.)
I think I'd have had a face like someone had just ripped open my special edition action toys if I had to listen to that shower of cretins singing Phil Collins, too. Poor Marcous, is he finally seeing it? That he is just filling the Sree-shaped void?
Hehe, Charlie in the diary room! Eat that, dumbass. He didn't even nominate Freddie! All the more reason to vote out The Mighty Douche (i.e. Kris). Haha, no one even noticed Charlie was being silent for ages. Gutted. I liked Marcus saying 'doing a pretend task'.
What has Noirin done to lead FREDDIE on?! Am I watching the same show? God, I want Noirin's perfume. Personally, I don't think she's even particularly flirty. I don't know what's up with everyone in that house. She was wrong to vote Siavash; he tried to help her the other night.
Is Charlie thick or something (!), he spoke about a billion times that day. I liked him a lot better mute, too.
Kris to Charlie: 'why can't you talk?' Freddie (deadpan): 'Presumably he can't say.' To be fair to Kris, if I was in there, I would have wound Charlie the fuck up, too, just for the lols. God, why is Freddie following him round when he can't say no? Ah...!
They didn't show many of the nominations, boo! That's one of the best bits.
Marcus; 'I did have a grope under the covers.' URGH! Gross, gross, gross, and I doubt it. Is he fifteen? Not very gallant.
Kris's 'I know more celebrities than Siavash' banter was definitely not mint. But that was the moment he fucked himself, so hurrah anyway.
I think Freddie has gone mental tonight; stalking Charlie, and becoming 'sexual rivals' with Marcus for Noirin. NEITHER of you are getting in her pants! And even if you did, it would probably be really fucking dull. The end! However, I don't think she should have to apologise because Marcus fancies her. That's his problem. And later when they said it was 'for the best' if she didn't cuddle anyone, why; in case she accidentally gets gang-raped? This is some sexist shit.
I don't like the way Noirin (and Kris) were talking to Siavash. 'Why do you wear that...' like Noirin and Kris, the vain bastards, only wear clothes that are 'comfy'! Siavash, how dare you express your individual style! Join the sheep down Topshop! Baa! Who made Noirin judge and jury on what was right and wrong in the world? She doesn't even ever wash that bloody hoodie she's welded into.
So did Big Brother fix the noms by giving them an impossible task? Yes. I wouldn't have thought it's humanly possible to not make a single sound for even an hour. Do I care that it's a fix? No, because they have been plotting to vote Freddie every fucking week, and they are arseholes.
Sophie's 'girls go first' comment seems slightly odd, the show has been on for bloody months now. Her and Karly both have a persecution complex about being pretty; it's stupid and sad.
Anyway, it's not about Sophie. It's about Kris and Charlie, and the only trouble is if the vote gets split between them (and how unpopular is Marcus?)
But one of Team Cunt must go this week. That much is certain. Don't let me down.

Big Brother 10: Only a couple of thousand

Oh my God, when Kris is criticising your seduction skills and calling you sexist, you really have sunk to the bottom, Marcous. It's a cockroach looking down on a dung beetle. Oh, he only did it behind his back though. Funny, that. Then called Noirin a slut! Christ, you couldn't make it up. (Littlejohn, tm).
Kris and Karly: have you ever said anything nice in your life? Christ, Kris' ears stick out big time when his afro's wet. Unlucky.
YOU'RE THE PRICK! He aint gonna get squashed, and you saying Freddie will get squashed soon only increases his power with the viewers, you scummy little pig-dog.
The crash test task was boring, but could have been improved by embedding razor blades and broken glass in the crash point.
Karly: 'I never feel sorry for Freddie'. I sincerely hope her boyfriend has left her so I can return the favour.
Oh God, Noirin is having to do a 'you're my FRIEND' speech again. They should make a doll of her, pull her string, 'friend, friend, friend, friend'. What's a 'mickey-teaser'? Marcus, she does not want 'that chat' in the outside world. You repulse her! She did tell him quite clearly; but I don't think it penetrated.
Siavash is a wise old bird. I'm enjoying his work lately. He sees everything.
Eating burgers, drinking and raving sounds good for an hour. Can you imagine Freddie on an E? I'd be like, 'do go on..' whilst stuffing my earplugs in. Has Sophie never been to a techno club? Dear oh dear! Haha Freddie's face afterwards was a picture. Upchuck city!
Oh dear, Marcus is brooding. He's gonna kick off at some point, and it won't be pretty.
I BET Sophie is happy about potential love between Rodrigo and Charlie; it takes Kris out of the gay-quasion.
Haha Freddie's raving conversation with Rodrigo was a joy for all the wrong reasons. Siavash and Marcus were not appreciating! I can see how living with Freddie would be hard. But he's fun to watch!
Marcus 'only has a couple of thousand' action toys! Lawks. His eulogising about the action figures in boxes was interesting: 'half the ones I want I'm not even going to open because I know they're going to let me down', hmm, what would the BB psychologist make of that?
Interesting how they cut that conversation with Siavash and Noirin; he was very explicit that Marcus was not to be told about that conversation, and I believe he was only looking out for his friend. That editing could have said something different.
That conversation about who's older between R&C was inane in the extreme. Get Charlie out! Rodrigo's schizo, but that's OK. Why IS he annoying Charlie so much? I don't know... but I like it!
Idiot Charlie saying he was going to nominate Rodrigo. That dickhead deserves to be up (it was announced today on BBLB that he can't nominate and he's up for the boot- yessss!) And can you imagine the faces? Go on, just IMAGINE Kris's face.
It don't matter who's up: vote Charlie out.

Big Brother 10: Cock Blocking Feeding Frenzy

Did I miss something? What exactly did Freddie do? Speak the truth? I notice him apologising to Kris; I've never seen Kris apologise to him.
Freddie: can I have a cuddle? Charlie: I think I'm gonna be sick. I'm not surprised, that's not a cuddle, it's a sexual position. Oh dear; Freddie is in serious vulnerable mode today. He's all over the shop. I feel really sorry for him; although he is being quite creepy.
Fuck; Sophie's cleavage! One good thing, at least Sophie and Kris just let whatever it was drop.
How come Rodrigo gets to do the secret mission? Oh, cos he's cute. That's OK then (actually, it is).
That was funny how easy it was to get Sophie on her hands and knees, nudge nudge wink wink (sorry, I've turned into Ian Hyland). I like her sometimes, when she's being silly. Kris is getting jealous of some imagined black bloke coming in and stealing his 'bird'! (Please make the dream real, BB). Make him seven foot tall, muscly, good looking, funny and intelligent, too. I'd pay to see it.
Haha, time for Noirin to ditch her latest stalker. I'm sure Lisa is loving it. Oh yeah, she was already paving the way for Marcus to get 'nasty'. But then Marcus in the diary room did himself no favours, with the 'cock-blocking' comment'- I mean, how selfish is Noirin not allowing his cock the rightful access it deserves? Anyone would think she had her own mind and two eyes in her head. Then he said her not flirting with him was akin to flirting a lot, as it was more serious! Eh? What planet is he on? Is this going to turn sour? Oh yes. This could make Sree-gate look like a low level squabble over the shopping list.
Do Charlie and Kris ever do anything other than plan/play pranks on other people? It's so tedious. Rodrigo wasn't exactly fighting them off, though.What IS going on between Rodrigo and Charlie? I can't work out of they are really arguing or not. Maybe the nominations will be different this week, who knows.
I feel a bit sorry for Noirin that her only worth to people seems to be as a sexual object. But then she doesn't really hang out with the girls much does she? But then.. who could blame her.
Does Rodrigo love Charlie? If so, why? I feel lost, and I'm not sure if it's the editing, or just fatigue.

Big Brother 10: These people have got their own brains

Here we go again, it's bullying hour!
Do you think Siavash has had his love of clothes beaten out of him yet?
Charlie has never seen someone be nasty to Freddie. Shoulda gone to Specsavers. Freddie was brave taking on the holy trinity of cuntville. I just get this sick feeling in my stomach with it all now.
'Sree you're doing brilliant.' No Lisa, he isn't.
I'm glad they ate the ice-cream. As an aside, people who have sauce on ice-cream are morally WRONG. Siavash looked a bit Jesus-like posing in his snail costume.
Marcus's painting was pretty cool. All those years painting World of Warcraft figures weren't wasted after all. Bless him, he thought the art critic really liked it, but he just liked it above a shit-coloured splodge and a childishly drawn face.
God, Karly is such a sour-faced, cruel, nasty, unpleasant person. I pity her boyfriend. I hate her nearly as much as Kris. No one can justify their hatred of Freddie, which is why they get so frustrated with him, because he holds a mirror up to how unfair they are being. 'You'll see when you get out,' said Karly, sinisterly. No, YOU'LL see, you rancid old cunt. When she called him vindictive it was the biggest example of transference I've ever seen in my life.
Lisa will never get it. Never. Charlie; 'These people have got their own brains.' No. No they haven't. Dear Lord, if someone stuck up for Freddie I'd probably drop down dead with shock. The fact we are accepting Siavash's and Marcus's half-hearted, behind-closed-doors crumbs they throw him on occasion proves just how bad the situation is.
I don't even see Kris, Karly, Charlie, Sophie and Lisa as housemates anymore, they are just hate-filled bags of shit with mouths.
I like it when Rodrigo gets ratty. It proves he's alive! I hate all this gameplan talk. It's boring.
Oh my god, Big Brother actually stood up for Freddie. Try stopping calling him Halfwit next, because it's about as funny as suicide bombing, and just as unfashionable.
Oh my God, they've realised they are bullying him then, because why would they say 'if I were him I would leave'? That's what they want, they just want to break him.
If that's Freddie's idea of a great day, those stereo-less parties really aren't as good as he makes out. He's off his head, he's got skin thicker than Sophie and Kris' future offspring.
Karly envisaging him going; nice try, love. He'll be there long after they've kicked your spiteful arse out. If I was Fearne Cotton, I'd go annoy an angry dog, just so I could have a face transplant and not have to look like you anymore.

Big Brother 10: I'm 200% staying

I could barely stand blogging it tonight; the bastard factor towards Freddie was just too much. But then things happened I wanted to comment on, so I guess something's working in a weird way.
It's actually uncomfortable to watch now. Fetch my gun; Karly needs a bullet in the head (and lets just tape her mouth up whilst we're at it). Her attitude in that task stank. Rodrigo's singing was funny though, but he's such a prima-donna.
I liked it when Freddie went to the toilet and effectively spoke to 'us'. He knows what's going on, and it's not a gameplan, Lisa, you mouth-on-a-stick, it's called having a brain. If he can stick it out, the world's his.
Freddie trying to reason with Kris was just painful. Kris is just a cunt, that's all he is, just pondlife. If I was his mother and I'd given birth to such a vacuous troll, I'd be forced to invent time-travel and fuck off back to 1985 to get sterilised. Freddie isn't patronising you, you're just an amoeba, curly top. How can Freddie keep calm? Three people took a pop at him in one day! Then Kris goes, 'you've been up three times'. He's also been SAVED three times. Make that four this friday.
Omg Sree in the ice cream task. What a disaster. He was a disaster awake, and a double-disaster half asleep. Some people just can't function first thing, can they? I like the fact Marcus was still being acerbic despite being half asleep.
Siavash provided the lols again, but walked off when Kris started, so minus points for that.
I just started following Davina on FB. She had a go at Kris. Good. Having said that, Davina should be impartial, but Big Mouth has destroyed that myth anyway.

Big Brother 10: Yes Sree Can

I did begin blogging yesterday but it was so tedious I just gave up. Kris was exceptionally nasty to Freddie, I know that much.
Nominations! Time for Charlie to act the goat. Hmm, Siavash; another interesting outsider chosen. It's bland or bugger off in that place.
Halfwit has missed a trick nominating Lisa in my opinion. How can he not have nominated Kris? Still, I'd be happy to see Lisa up.
Here's an aside. McCoys... man's crisps... what a load of bullshit. I've been eating that shit for years, and I aint no geezer. They'll have Danny Dyer advertising them next. 'Here...'
Unimaginative housemates nominating Freddie. Don't they get it yet?
How come Sophie gets drinks for free? It's not because she's a girl, it's because she doesn't wear much. There's a difference.
Sree doesn't even know when to shut up around nomination time. He's relentless.
I'm not even commenting on the Jedi/Phillipines conversation, it's beneath contempt.
Noirin FINALLY nominated Sree! Thank God. Rodrigo's reason for nominating Freddie was rubbish.
YAY Siavash nominated KRIS! Hallelujah! Siavash just pitched his tent on the side of good. He's now in my top three. Yesssssss! Buh bye Sree! Although I'd still rather see six other people go before Sree.
Sree nommed Noirin. Shame he's not going to be around to make that count later.
This programme seemed exceptionally long. The last half an hour was pretty pointless. I feel like the producers have given up, like they've forgotten to put new housemates in, or rejig the noms. There was one year when you couldn't move for nomination 'twists'. Where are they now, to oust the numpties?

Big Brother 10: He's eating my brain

Shame I was in no state to do a blog yesterday; the eviction night was good TV. Rodrigo finally showed his teeth last night and I saw a glint in his eye that has been absent for the past few weeks. If he keeps getting involved in fights (on the side of good) and Freddie keeps endlessly banging on about how he's safe each week (and pissing off the viewers), we could finally have a race on our hands.
Sad to see Angel go. Did she say she was 'back from the future' in her eviction interview. Cuckoo! Big mistake having her leave; big, big mistake. And I won't forget it!
Siavash went up in my estimation trying to explain to dur-brain Marcus about third world debt. Marcus showed himself to be a moron. If Siavash picks the right side (ie. the individuals) he could go a long way. At the moment he's spreading himself too thinly, and the housemates will eventually turn unless they feel he's loyal.
Kris; 'Freddie wants to get to know me but there's nothing to know.' How true, and what a thing to be proud of. So handsome he never bothered to develop a personality, except one that makes cunty comments all the time. Shame. I think he'll get a shock when he leaves. Does he not get it; the public are voting for Freddie to survive! Do they not see that Freddie being that underdog gives him a position of great power with the viewers? I mean, what reason do we have for voting Kris to win in 2 months time? Cos he had nice hair?
Marcus's slavering over Noirin is actually starting to make me feel physically sick. Cock blocking beats!
Sree and Marcus trying to show off about doing press-ups was fucking dull.
Garlic gate; zzz. Sree is a cunt. His reaction about that garlic thing was pathetic. Freddie needs back up, big time. He aint getting it from those bleating twats. Lisa complained about the food but Freddie still got it in the neck for actually eating it.
I thought Marcus and Freddie's conversation was a bit close to the nomination bone. But I don't think they'd dare stop Freddie and Marcus from voting.
Literally the only interesting thing about Sophie is she gets drunk really quick. I dont think I've ever got that drunk in my life, not even when I was 14.
Charlie isn't as stupid as he acts, ingratiating himself with Freddie, when Kris is too thick to bother. Can the thickies be defeated? Put in a couple of new housemates, and let's see.

Big Brother 10: I'm a robot, I'm half alien

Is Sree president at his university? He hasn't mentioned it. Getting increasingly fucked off that Angel and Freddie are up; every sane person thinks it's a travesty.
I think Angel was just winding up Noirin, but Noirin has no sense, so she didn't get it.
ARGH KRIS AND CHARLIE DIE!
Marcus, PMT? WTF? What is wrong with him! He does talk a right load of old dross, but at least he had a pop at Noirin. Haha, scouring himself in the shower! By the sounds of things, he needs it, the stinky fucker.
I don't care about this whole pregnancy/fat thing, it's tedious. Noirin is such a cunt. Angel is acting like someone's mad old nan, but it's literally that; acting.
Do carrots grow on trees? No they don't, and Jade is dead in the ground, so let her thick card die with her.
Poor Freddie. No one gave a crap that he was up. No one said sorry to him or Angel. He looks cute with eyeliner on. Ohh Marcus looked pissed off about Freddie being up- good. Sree was right; Freddie is the strongest. Marcus isn't stupid, and I think he has probably twigged he's next on the hitlist; and he's worried.
Maybe in the next 1000 years people will understand Freddie and Angel.
Fuck a duck, I forgot to post this, and now michael jackson has died. If I tag his name, I might get tons of hits *graverobber*
Will they tell the Big Brother contestants?

Big Brother 10: Live Nominations

Live noms! Would be better if Charlie had to suffer too.
Typical spineless Kris wanting to quit the task. Lazy bastard. Will this task ever end? I don't want to see them singing! Marcus's recorder playing was unmentionable. I don't know what hey nonny nonny is either, but I do know Rodrigo is a wet fish. Shame, as he could have been great.
Why do they keep saying 'that's what I'm talking about!' Get your own catchphrases.
Sophie caning the drink dregs with one eye open was funny; that was proper wino behaviour. She was smashed!
I hate it when Kris does that Freddie impression, he's such a fucking numpty.
Siavash; 'It's a fucking plastic sword.' I like Siavash a bit more today; and I do find him attractive on occasion, but I could still go either way on him. Bugger; wish he'd saved Freddie from nominations, not Marcus. I've gone off Marcus; he's not made a stupid cat food/hearing aid comment in ages. I'm fickle!
I watched some of the live feed from last night today and Noirin and Sree argued for roughly about three hours, and it was the most boring thing on earth. Sree won't leave; he's all hot air. Noirin was getting off on shooting him down.
Why was Angel gobbing all over her face?! What is wrong with her? Freddie looked quite good in that hat. At least they're having fun.
I don't think Angel fancies Noirin, I think she's said it to deflect attention from Freddie. I hope anyway.
The quick fire nominations made me nervous! But they should show them to the housemates not to us. No, AND us. Actually, this nomination style works well, don't fack abaht as Danny Dyer would say. I liked the table of scores, too.
Sophie, nicking someone's make-up brush is hardly 'sneaky and backstabbing'. It's fairly normal flat-sharing stuff. She nominated the brains! Boo.
Karly looks orange, what happened? Kris, you're not a valid member of the group, you fucking dibby. No one in there is fat, so why are they worried about what Angel says? She clearly has a problem with food.
Motherfuckers, they are all nominating Angel and Freddie! Argh! Are they stupid? They can't survive against Freddie.
ARGH bloody Noirin nominated Angel and Freddie too. Odd seduction technique Angel has, telling the girl she allegedly fancies that they have a fat arse.
I'm fucked off with that result! Why do we get stuck with all the dullards? It's annoying! They can't be trusted to vote. Freddie looked a bit upset. Up against his buddy.
Boo! A plague on all your houses. Cunts!

Big Brother 10: Angel Cake

Hello, I'm a Big Brother contestant and I can't read. When Kris is correcting your syntax, be very afraid. Bet Siavash is regretting going to the DR now. I just can't warm to him, I don't know why.
I thought Rodrigo didn't want to be a wife?
This Tudor task is so shit, why am I not surprised after I actually enjoyed yesterday's show. The only exciting thing is the sexual tension between Angel and Freddie.
Where are the nominations? Aren't they normally today? I had to forward the chicken plucking, I'm a hypocritical meat-eater but no thanks. The quiz was boring as fuck too; I just want to see the dynamics between people, not all this bullshit.
Angel, eating in the bath is WRONG but somehow, with her, it was right.
Oh, the Freddie bashing has begun again, by the very thickest members of the house.
OMG now Angel fancies Norin! What is it with that girl? I want Angel to fancy Freddie! Sree, Marcus, now Angel... oh christ. Why! She's a right sour thing. Does Angel really believe Noirin might be into it? Fuck, this is going to be a worse car crash than Shreesville. This could get really weird. Then Noirin went and dissed her in the DR. Argh.
Glad Charlie can't nominate after all the fuss he makes about people. Serves him right.
Again Karly's attitude towards men reveals her to be quite a sad figure. I pity her if that's what she really thinks about men.
Angel, put some clothes on! Is she attention seeking? Does she really fancy Noirin? I know one thing, I wouldn't want to go in that swimming pool after her.
(Just saw the ad that said housemates have to nominate live tomorrow; shame Charlie is immune after all! PS: I miss diary room uncut.)

Big Brother 10: We are the music

I had a live feed fest last night and Angel has gone up in my estimation a zillion-fold. I love the fact the matriarchs of the house (Lisa, Angel) are defending Sree against an increasingly arrogant Noirin. She impertinently told Angel last night that she should have children as it was the only way she could be happy, and it was 'meant to be' and 'what was she doing for society'. Idiot. Over-populating the world isn't 'doing something for society'. Don't tell someone how to feel! Angel went 'it's just one more me in the world.' God, then Siavash said, you'd better have children so there's someone to look after you when you're old. Then Marcus went 'wait til you meet someone'. Christ. I've met someone; still hate kids! Now fuck off!
Anyway, on with tonight's show. I'm glad it was Freddie's birthday. He looks WAY older than 24 though; is it all those soundless raves taking their toll. I liked the hippy birthday. Freddie was so happy! It was infectious.
Angel: 'will they give us magic mushrooms?' I wish! That would be amazing.
Not sure how 21 seconds fitted into the hippy theme; it's probably Kris' favourite song. Argh; bongos! It was funny how the atmosphere just soured after about a minute. Christ, that performance they did was terrifying. It was like being at Whirly and the record jumping on that bagpipes track at the same time as you realised the E you took was some nasty acid.
Siavash looked particularly zen as a hippy. He was born in the wrong decade.
Sree runs rings round Marcus in arguments! It was funny when Karly backed Sree up. I think the thing is, people genuinely like Sree. I do, despite him being nutso! He's just an appealing little stalker. Haha, then he started bleating about leaving! There's not been nearly enough fuss about leaving this year.
Oh my god; 'I come from a good university, I have a lot of enhancement skills, communication, vocabulary, interpersonal and engineering skills.' LOL! Really, lol, not just an ironic one.
That was cruel making Freddie do a fifteen minute speech; BB better not influence them nominate him because he's being a dullard. I wanna go to Freddie's special place. Or do I?
I wish he hadn't saved Noirin from permanent graffiti face. Probably the funniest thing about the whole unfunny thing is that I've never once heard Sophie or Freddie moan about being called Dogface or Halfwit, so doesn't that make the 'joke' a bit... pointless?
Liked Marcus explaining to Rodrigo what a crisp sandwich was. Imagine never having known that joy.
Freddie and Angel's dancing was good; they are definitely the hottest couple in the house! Viva la difference! And they had a snog! And they came back for more! Liked seeing Angel loosen up. She's peculiarly sexy in a really weird way.
Sophie's drunkeness was BAD, I don't think I've been that drunk in my life. I think that's a good example of when having sex with a woman would be rape; she was OUT of it. Where did Sophie get the idea Noirin was 'sweet'? She's narky!
The bit where Angel and Sree were talking went on for ages longer than they showed. She was really good with him.
Enjoyed tonight's.

Big Brother 10: Eviction- Boobs for Beer

Freddie must stay! Freddie in the diary room is lush. How can he stay so happy in the face of such adversity? He's ace.
Cider-nipple gate grinds on. The fauxmance drags on. Sophie's hair extensions are on the turn. Karly's attitude towards both men and women seems somewhat unhealthy. Do people like Karly? I don't. She's hard-faced. If the best Sophie can say about Kris is she 'likes his personality' gawd help us. I don't think she's that keen, I really don't.
Liked Freddie bragging about the size of his house, hehe. 'Technically' Marcus still lives with his mum.
Angel is right; Noirin is an empty vessel. Rodrigo: why cant we just be happy in this country without drugs? He says drugs are 'just as good' as going to Blackpool. Freddie is brave to advocate the use of drugs as fun when he wants to be a politician.
Noirin wants to be a housewife! Er... why? I reckon Sree is turning into the Incredible Hulk. He's all dishevelled and swearing worse than Gordon Ramsay.
Liked Angel winding Sree up with her weird noises. She seems back on form after the hunger strike. Sree has a lot of headache, but Angel is unshuttable.
Siavash's hairy arse; TMI! Ciaron is flirting with the bi side. That bum thing was too much. Have they heard of decorum?
Marcus is a perv. What DOES Noirin think of him? God, stuck between Marcus and Sree; what a pair.
I don't like having to wait until 10.30 for the eviction result! They are just trying to up the ratings. Try not tinkering the show to death. Oh, Davina's mic's not working. It's kind of good.
Cairon's gone. To be fair, I wouldn't have minded him sticking around for a bit. But we had a choice to make, and there it was. Ta-ra. Freddie acted very cool about it; he didn't rub it in anyone's face.
Cairon came across as a right little prick in his interview. He might as well have just gone 'am I bothered?' twenty times in a row. I knew he'd have a sense of humour failure about the bromance. Do you know what I'm saying?
I like Iain Lee and Vanessa Feltz but not in this show. I miss them having the live feed in the background when they interview the evictee. I liked seeing their faces then. I miss that part of the live feed most; the bits in between when they are all in shock. I miss them showing the housemate the nominations too, that's a really stupid bit to cut out.
The makers of this show have run it into the ground. Yet still everyone I really care about clings to it's wreckage. It's like Britpop or Eastenders.

Big Brother 10: Please, save her

Oh I'm tired from writing group, but still I feel the blurge. If I hear the words 'old bamboo' one more time I might kick my TV.
Didn't like Lisa and Noirin calling Angel 'cute' in the negative sense; I don't like that word being commandeered for evil. Angel is strange, and is probably attention seeking in her own way, but she's quite a sad figure. She's clearly a loner. I think they are threatened by her uniqueness.
ARGH KRIS YOU'RE A CUNT! Don't talk to Freddie like that; just don't, you arrogant little cock! I'd rather be a geeky pleb than a vacuous, proud-to-be-thick twatamaboob (tm. Charlie Brooker). Die! You ARE the mighty douche!!! How long before someone sees through this chancer? And Charlie. The pair of them should be sent off to war.
God, Noirin is becoming quite the bitch. She's got Kris disease in that she thinks she's a cut above some of the others. She wouldn't dare talk to Sophie, Karly or Kris like she talks to Sree. She's going to put him off pretty quick. Where's her golden heart? Who cares if Sree is a virgin? Him and his principles! Was Marcus hitting on Noirin? Sree wasn't happy! It was sad when he was imploring her to still be his friend. She's cold!
That task gave new meaning to the word tedium. Angel, please don't refer to yourself in the third person. Bad atmosphere in that house.
Watch them make a zillion allowances for Charlie fluffing the routine. Oh no, they just never mentioned it again.
I don't like the word 'tits'! It makes me grumpy to hear men and women using it. I like good old boobs. I'm not surprised Sree was unsettled; I was unsettled by that conversation. Marcus can be quite crude and trying to barter with Noirin to show her boobs was in bad taste. 'The face and the tits and the arse'- how nice to be reduced to the sum of your parts. What is up with these women? If someone said that about me, I'd knock their fucking teeth out. At least Lisa tried; that was something. I liked her comforting Sree as he sobbed, his heartbreak was real. Marcus was a little callous saying all that in front of him. Lisa's gone up in my estimation, Marcus has gone down.
Noirin is SO hard-hearted! She's cruel. She's dealt with that situation SO badly. Sree is making a complete mess of things, but she is more worldly-wise than him. I bet you a zillion quid she nominates him next week.
Tomorrow, vote to evict Cairon... don't let me down, folks. What do you mean you're not even watching it?!

Big Brother 10: I have dancing certificates

Angel looked skinny naked. She needs to come off hunger strike. I like her loner tendencies. Could she win it? I think she's too impenetrable.
I thought Sophie took it with good grace when Cairon was insulting her. I wouldn't have been so friendly.
God, everyone hates Sree! I think someone's going to stab him. Why is he not up for nomination? Are they sadists? Even Rodrigo got a bit ruffled today.
I thought Freddie looked mildly sexy today. Not sure why. God Charlie gets on my wick. His haircut does my head in as well, it's so chavvy. Hate him being so chirpy in the DR thinking people can actually tolerate him. I can't stick him.
Liked Marcus getting upset by Sree and then having to go in his group. It's tedious watching them practice a task, especially one relating to Shitty Shitty Bang Bang. I bet I'm the first person EVER to have called it that, right?
Cairon's face when the evictions were announced were a picture. Come on, love, you started on Sree about 5 seconds before he nominated, what do you expect? It annoyed me that everyone was shocked about that and going 'good luck' to him and no one said shit to Freddie. Nasty people. Cairon was 'a bit appalled.' Oh well. Not everyone was shocked when they heard your name, because loads of people voted for you, Cairon. Freddie must stay!
Freddie's random singing was very odd. Are BB trying to make us annoyed with him; it'll take more than that. What does Angel think of him? I'd love to know! Her face gave nothing away! Can you imagine Freddie on coke or on an E? Fucking hell, you'd have to put a muzzle on him.
Sree was playing the nasty Nick game at the end! Freddie is a rose in his garden! Shame everyone can see right through it.
Even though Marcus was begging to be my blog title with his Captain Cool as Fuck bullshit, I'm not convinced he means it, so as usual, Sree wins.
Sree needs to be spayed. It's the only Honest solution.

Big Brother 10: Retardness in the Brain

I liked Angel capturing the buttermoth. It was sweet. But wtf was she wearing in the diary room? She looked like a pimp.
Hmm, noms again and I think I know who's up and I hate it when I know. But I did hear it was Marcus and Freddie initially which would have been a disaster. Now I think it's Cairon and Freddie. Surprised Cairon's pissed that many people off. But he is a bit of a div. I'd rather see a lot of others go over him, but we can only pick from who they put up, unfortunately. Have his PJs got lips on? They're quite cute. Oh God, 'disrespect'. What a dickhead. Bye bye!
Angel nominated the inner circle of Siavash and Cairon. Good. It's a start anyway. I liked the way she was referring to people as 'opponents'. That's the spirit!
Urgh to Charlie going your fanny will close up if you don't have sex for seven months. I wish his mouth would close up. Cairon's chat up of Sophie was useless.
Charlie don't pretend you don't want to nominate, you duplicitous dipshit. You've had nothing but time to think in that place. Put yourself up then! Pathetic. If anyone is actually falling for that shit, they should seek help. He was quick to put Freddie up in the end. Charlie nominated my two favourite people in the house.
Sophie came across thick as shit in the DR. She nominated my two favourite people too. Her reasons for nominating Marcus sounded fair enough, though. He can be a little... blunt.
Sree's (uncooked) bacon and crisp sandwiches were pretty odd. Urgh, Lisa bit into it without looking at it! Sree has never eaten bacon in his life?! So why is he making bacon sarnies?
Weird that Sophie and Karly nominated Freddie for the same reason. I don't like Karly at all now, I think she's a pretty horrible person unless I see a major change in her. She's just vapid.
Shit, how is it going to be Cairon up, he's not got enough votes?! I'm starting to panic now. How did Sree fly under the radar so this week? I thought he was a dead cert! And now his nominations are the decider! Looks like Cairon shouldn't have had that row with him in the kitchen. I'm glad Sree is staying in. He has a good turn of phrase and he creates drama.
How did Siavash know about Sree's declaration of love? Didn't like Sophie saying Noirin was out of Sree's league; who decided on the leagues anyway? Did that boob job bump you up a league? It's just high school snobbery.
Why is Freddie so hated in that house? Is he doing something that isn't being shown? Sree said 'too much education causes retardness in the brain' and he should know. I think the problem with Sree and Freddie is they are too similar, that's why they hate each other. Listen to them when they talk about the other; they might as well be doing a monologue about their own personality defects. Either way, we should keep Freddie in to piss everyone off. But at the same time, I feel sorry for him in that place!
Freddie's caravan horse thing sounds alright. He's a sweetie. Charlie; bullying someone into being happy doesn't quite work. You have the all the subtlety of Sree on a first date.
I'm glad Noirin is under pressure, because she's annoying. She needs to tell Sree she needs some space, not give him the cold shoulder. Siavash was just being mean- well he's going to be sorry when he loses his chum this week.
Aw, Sree even tried to get Big Brother onside. Big Brother can't take your side on that one. Noirin has broken your confidentiality! How did Siavash find out about what you said?
ARGH STOP SAYING 'NIGHT'. Fuck off Cairon! I feel Freddie's pain.
Bad atmosphere tonight. Big Brother is being cruel to them, but they are all being wankers to each other. Something's got to give.

Big Brother 10: Your laugh makes me sunshine

Nice to see Lisa and Marcus make up; I won't forget her behaviour though.
Thought, 'ah the nice people' when Freddie, Rodrigo and Angel were in the kitchen and then they started squabbling! Rodrigo is kind of a little baby, isn't he? He can't keep that goody two-shoes act up for three months. It's tedious.
That Noirin glasses thing is just BB bullying Noirin now. But I don't feel very sorry for her, she's unlikeable.
Angel has got body dysmorphia or something. I wouldn't be surprised if she murdered them all in their beds one night, she's a mentalist.
The dancing flowers outfits were cute; quite hard to dance with no music or singing though. They did well in that task, it was hard!
Kris, you're a cock. Freddie is sweet. You're an ignorant, vapid, dull, shallow piece of crap. You're virtually proud of being thick. Charlie if you really think you're the public's winner by picking on someone you're an even bigger twonk than I first though. Can they not see that it makes them look cruel? It makes them look bad, not Freddie. Aw. poor Freddie.
Sree's courting of Noirin was tragic, especially after she said 'I wish he'd just fuck off.' God, he said he was in love with her! That's a bit much. He's smitten! How long before she tells someone? I give it five seconds. Keep Sree in, he's TV gold.
Cairon; please don't say 'pussy'. Gross. Too many bad eggs in that house. And I don't hold out much hope for nominations tomorrow; what's the betting Freddie is up?

Big Brother 10: Step up to the Marcus

Sree wants a wife with a golden heart. He needs one with a hearing problem. Stop going on about your mum and dad, you dolt! You're twenty fucking five.
All of 'em are getting on my nerves right now; mainly the shallowness.
Liked Big Brother calling time on romance! That was cruel. Kris wanting more 'banter'. Sophie: 'what does banter mean?' Lord. Banter means you actually have something to say and some semblance of a sense of humour. Argh, stop saying 'banter'. And stop going on about what your mates with say, you pathetic prat. Aw his screensaver in his phone is 'him and the lads'. Get a life, you donkey.
That bull in a china shop task seemed like a bit of a health and safety issssssue. Quite funny, though.
I'm not surprised Noireen got pissed off about the marker pen thing; that joke is stale! Thought Sree dealt with her quite nicely. The stupid glasses and moustache give her an identity though; she doesn't appear to have one otherwise.
Kris looking daggers at Freddie because he actually thinks about things, rather than just looks pretty was sad.
I watched some of the argument on the live feed and they edited it to bits (I know they have to cut some out). Lisa's attitude is disgusting. The way she was tearing into everyone was unforgivable. What did she have a bee in her bonnet about the hunger strike for? It was hardly the last stand at Guantanemo Bay. Lisa responding 'ner ner ner' to Marcus just sums her up. 41 years old and still such a fucking loser. Tragic. Freddie was so bullied in that situation, it was horrible. And who told Freddie to shut the fuck up? Was it Kris? Grr! Injustice, so unfair.
I can't believe they genuinely think Charlie is going to win. He's useless! He thinks he's going to win too. Why? He's a shallow piece of shit. Noirin can fuck off as well insulting Freddie, he's worth about a zillion of her.
Feel the rage! This is what BB is about.
Marcus to win; he's got them pegged and he stands up for himself. OK, he's confused about his own sex appeal, but he'll soon wake up to that once he leaves the house.

Big Brother 10: Pieces of Meat

Bless Sree. If he's not up for eviction next week I'll be agog. His attitude stinks! He truly believes he's the only person ever in the right, and no matter who talks to him or tries to tell him what's what, the boy just does not listenings.
Was Angel shaving her forehead?! Why?
Siavash; no one fancies you, you look like like you did some acid, went down Scope and forgot what size clothes you wore. Does he really believe he's as attractive as he makes out? Can he? The outfit BB made him wear could easily have been one of his own creations, it's equally silly.
The Kris/ Sophie fauxmance is tedious already. He seems more into her than she's into him, but it's all much of a muchness. Either of them might as well be doing their hair in front of the mirror for all the chemistry that's being generated.
Ciaron looks about 5 years old in his little drummer boy hat. Liked Sophie asking how many girls Kris had slept with. I've been trying to think of an insulting nickname for Kris and my boyfriend suggested 'The Mighty Douche' as he looks like the one who isn't Noel Fielding. But I'm not convinced he does? Still, if the cap fits... *cliche alert*
I didn't think much of the way Karly dealt with Sophie in the shower, saying The Mighty Douche is a jack the lad and he'll have girls throwing themselves at him. So what, they are in there for 3 months, they can have fun whilst it lasts. Her nose is just out of joint cos no one fancies her. She does have a boyfriend though, so what does she expect?
Did not like Lisa's bullying of Freddie, because that's what it was. Going 'don't speak to me like that' whilst talking to him like he's a piece of shit was not cool. I was open to going either way on her; well it's just gone the other. I'm glad Freddie was still being happy in the face of adversity. He could win it if the others keep turning on him.
Marcus summed everyone up very nicely. It took me a minute to clock he was calling himself a prize bit of beef, the male equivalent of Sophie, and not just a body in that 'bit of meat' speech. He rates himself spectacularly high. Where is he from? Oh god, he called Sree the 'underdog': wait for a 'that is an insult in my culture' drama.
I'm glad Karly is annoyed by Marcus. Marcus rules! He didn't quite call her a piece of meat in the sense she thought; he was actually right for the most part. She is just totty, really, I've not seen anything of substance yet.
Handjob at the end? Honestly, Maxwell and Saskia were more convincing than this pair.
'Kind of person' count: 12 billion.

Big Brother 10: Keep Trotting On

Suffia (Saffia? I've been spelling it wrong haven't I) left the house: a) because she missed her babies, b) Kris getting off with Sophie or c) Sophia calling her out? Here's a clue; it wasn't a).
Let's play cliche bingo! Can I just say something? Check! I'm the sort of person... check! At the end of the day... check! End of... check! 120%... check! Like I said.. check!We're just waiting for I'm not being funny, but... and then I'm done.
Freddie is learning self-mastery. Whatever that is. Help ever, hurt never, yeah good luck with that Sree. I like looking at Siavash, he's dramatic. He's an idiot, but at least he's a bit different.
Ciaron: 'Say it to to my motherfucking face' is aggressive. Don't like his style. He WAS saying it to your face, idiot box.
'I thought 'something was going to go amiss in my insides' is a great line, thanks Marcus.
What is with that McCoys advert? Man crisps! Yorkie gave up that schtick time ago. Yawn.
Sree is really scared of Cairon! As if. Nicely played. There were some good verbal linguistics in that diary room chair. The unremarkable golden person representing his university... what?!
Ciaron, do you know what I'm saying, innit?
Hurrah, Freddie survived. Stop calling him Halfwit, now, that joke isn't funny anymore...
Wtf was Siavash wearing? He looked like a demonic gnome.
Sophia got mega boos. I'd just go boo right back at 'em. I don't think she got one cheer. Wonder what her percentages were?
What the HELL has happened to the eviction interview? Dom Joly? Judi James? Noooo. Weird. Wrong, wrong, wrong. What's the point in analysing the housemate that's leaving? Misjudged as usual. Dom Joly must just be at a loose end.
It was rubbish that they cut the bit out of the interview where they show the person the nominations and stuff. All the juicy stuff was gone. This is a major fuck up, it was better off on the bus.
Sophia fears God! When animals attack... lol. Yap, yap, yap. Put the dog down. And Davina. And Big Brother. No! Not Big Brother. Just give it CPR.