How often do you get something amazing for free? Not very often. So I was quite jammy to spot that Bidisha was doing a creative writing class at the Mosaic Rooms in Earls Court on Twitter.
For those who don't know who Bidisha is, she's a really brilliant feminist writer whom I've admired for the past couple of years, so the chance to get to go and learn about creative writing from her wasn't one I was going to pass up - so I booked the day off work! It's like two of my best ever things rolled into one - like a Morrissey/ Bright Eyes double bill, so I was really looking forward to it.
The class was a one-off too, as a thank you to the venue for launching Bidisha's latest book so I was really lucky to get to go to it. The building is beautiful and the room we were in was very special, with
fantastic Iraq war-inspired art. I was a total fangirl and turned up
first like teacher's pet.
Bidisha is very well-spoken and beautiful in the flesh; tiny and stylish, with punky bracelets and tattoos. She was so warm and lovely and answered every question we had. I told her that now I write for a living I find it so hard to write in the evenings and she was like, 'don't beat yourself up for having a full time job' and said I needed to book 10 days off to just concentrate on writing. I do really want to go on a retreat because I think I need that head space to start my next novel - not sure I can get 10 days off for that, though! She said when you write journalistically you can lose touch with the kind of writing you want to do which is so true.
She set us short exercises and we blitzed through so much stuff: I probably learnt as much in those three hours as I did on the first year of my creative writing degree: and I didn't have to pay 12K - that hasn't gone down for the past 10 years - for the privilege. I've got pages of useful tips.The group was really lovely too and all eager to learn, with some obvious talent there. It was like a training course that people actually wanted to be on!
Although feminism wasn't touched on overtly (although I saw flashes of it there!) learning from someone I really respect as a writer and a feminist was so inspiring.
I feel like Bidisha has given me hope that I can be the writer I want to be; that it's not lazy to come home from work writing all day and not have any braincells left to use my imagination. But I can't use that as an excuse either: I need to set time aside if I'm going to write another novel.
A friend of mine says Bidisha scares her and that gives me a thrill. I
want to be so passionate about what I believe in that I scare people!
The amount of shit she gets on The Guardian website just for her opinion
is the scary part: the amount of shit women get just for speaking their
mind. But I think Bidisha would make a great ally; I think she's fiercely loyal and I love her strong opinions. I just love the fact she just comes out and says exactly how she feels about the world.
I'm grateful to Bidisha for giving us that time and I really learnt a lot. I hope my paths cross with hers again some day as I'd love a chat about feminism with her, too!
Showing posts with label feminist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminist. Show all posts
Monday, 28 May 2012
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
BBC3: Glamour models, mum and me
What do you do when your mum is Alicia Douvall and she's pushing you to be a glamour model? Run away screaming.
Alicia Douvall is tapped in the head. Her thinking that 'the body is powerful and can make her easy money' about her own daughter Georgia is so screwed up, it's enough to make a feminist weep. What mother wants her daughter to have an unnecessary operation? She probably just wants her to be as disfigured as she is. I think the kid sees right through it; well it's not exactly a good advert, is it?
You are SEXUALISING A CHILD. Fucked up! It's actually child abuse.
Of course, if your mum wants you to be a glamour model, you become a scientist. If your mum wants you to be a scientist you become a glamour model. That's why I'm not having kids.
Alicia is an absolute idiot. Telling your child they don't need a back up plan when your plan seemed to be selling 25,000 kiss and tells and getting your face mashed up is pathetic. She looks like a burns victim.
Bloc Party are the background music for every BBC3 documentary I ever see! Kele, what you playing at?!
God, then Alicia is insisting she's her daughter's best friend. Just be a MOTHER. And I don't normally judge people's parenting, because I don't exactly have any experience in that area, but come on. Even an idiot guest on Jeremy Kyle could work this one out.
Next Georgia had to miss a load of school because Alicia had to have her breast operation fixed in LA. Jesus. She is actually jeopardising her kid's chance at an education to have work done on her mangled body.
The imbalance in their relationship is seriously disturbing. Georgia seems about 30 and Alicia seems about 12.
Even in agony at the millionth breast reconstruction, Alica was STILL trying to persuade her small child to get a boob job. That is mental illness.
Alicia: 'she speaks in another language to me, about atoms, not bikinis'. Yes, she's got a brain. She's seen who you are, and doesn't want to be it.
At the end there was some unconvincing epiphany when Alicia said to her daughter, 'you're perfect as you are.'
Yeah, see you in Nuts. Unless you RUN. Run, kiddo.
Alicia Douvall is tapped in the head. Her thinking that 'the body is powerful and can make her easy money' about her own daughter Georgia is so screwed up, it's enough to make a feminist weep. What mother wants her daughter to have an unnecessary operation? She probably just wants her to be as disfigured as she is. I think the kid sees right through it; well it's not exactly a good advert, is it?
You are SEXUALISING A CHILD. Fucked up! It's actually child abuse.
Of course, if your mum wants you to be a glamour model, you become a scientist. If your mum wants you to be a scientist you become a glamour model. That's why I'm not having kids.
Alicia is an absolute idiot. Telling your child they don't need a back up plan when your plan seemed to be selling 25,000 kiss and tells and getting your face mashed up is pathetic. She looks like a burns victim.
Bloc Party are the background music for every BBC3 documentary I ever see! Kele, what you playing at?!
God, then Alicia is insisting she's her daughter's best friend. Just be a MOTHER. And I don't normally judge people's parenting, because I don't exactly have any experience in that area, but come on. Even an idiot guest on Jeremy Kyle could work this one out.
Next Georgia had to miss a load of school because Alicia had to have her breast operation fixed in LA. Jesus. She is actually jeopardising her kid's chance at an education to have work done on her mangled body.
The imbalance in their relationship is seriously disturbing. Georgia seems about 30 and Alicia seems about 12.
Even in agony at the millionth breast reconstruction, Alica was STILL trying to persuade her small child to get a boob job. That is mental illness.
Alicia: 'she speaks in another language to me, about atoms, not bikinis'. Yes, she's got a brain. She's seen who you are, and doesn't want to be it.
At the end there was some unconvincing epiphany when Alicia said to her daughter, 'you're perfect as you are.'
Yeah, see you in Nuts. Unless you RUN. Run, kiddo.
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Women: Activists
I wont even comment on the 'Women: Mothers' programme as it was so pathetic and limp. Shame; this series started well. Hopefully 'Activists' has got a bit more oomph.
I've been to the London Feminist Network conference and I found it very disappointing. It said nothing to me about my life, in so many ways. I don't care about objectification; I mean, I do, but not much. I care about violence against women and equal rights/ pay, not about prostitution, porn or glamour modelling. A friend of mine is a psychologist who also does pole dancing for fun. Partly thanks to Object, she can't do it any more, because a new law has arrived that labels her 'a sex worker' so she cannot legally work in the criminal justice system (she works in a prison) and do that. She's basically had to give up her fall-back for money. That's not freedom; it's oppression. Women-on-women oppression.
Who is portraying women as sexual objects? Magazines certainly do, but that doesn't make ME a sexual object. I like being a sexual being. I like some porn, and I like being objectified sometimes. Horrifying, I know. I am 100% a feminist. These are not issues for me. Domestic violence is an issue. Rape is an issue. Abortion is an issue. Not being able to walk down the street at night is an issue. The rest just feels like window dressing. And I'm not stupid, I understand how Page 3 dehumanises women, I understand how Nuts magazine dehumanises women. But do you socialise with 13-year-old Sun readers? Idiots will always be idiots. You can't make morons intelligent.
I understand what Fin in this programme was saying about the rage; I am enraged by sexism everywhere. But I enjoy being enraged. I enjoy being intelligent enough to see why something is sexist when someone else might not even question it. Knowledge is power. It's better to be oppressed than ignorant.
Two women a week killed by their male partner; that is something worth shouting about, worth raging against. Someone calling up for 'a prostitute like a pizza'? I'm not bothered.
I do hate sexist language; bird, slut, slag; it's all the same thing, something a woman can be called, but a man can't. I even hate 'hen' party with it's vision of twittering women. But what is the point of them reading ads for porn lines in the back of a magazine and complaining about it? It's like going to Wales and moaning that it's raining. I don't agree that men who watch porn see all women as 'slags'. Men compartmentalise sex; they can turn that off and on again; and guess what; so can women.
Oh god, the feminist songs! Spare me. This doesn't do much for our image. 'Po-faced' is levelled at us a lot; and this is why. A man reading The Star on the tube is clearly an idiot; let him get on with it. Does it really affect you? Getting angry about that is like getting angry at a park bench; in fact the park bench is probably more well-read.
Another friend of mine is a member of Object, and friends with Sandrine, but when I challenged her on the views she didn't seem to have the answers to why objectification is bad, just that it was bad. But if you're going to stand up for something, why not stand up for battered women, for rape victims? Glamour models and porn stars are making money. It's their choice, the majority of the time (except for in cases of trafficking etc- and that in itself is violence and rape, so why separate it) so why take that choice from women?
Music videos are soft porn. Movie stars encourage girls to starve themselves by being so thin. The way to arm yourself against this is to teach your children some morality; some common sense. There SHOULD be more curvy women in magazines. But there's not. So don't read magazines. You don't need that handbag or that diet plan. Any intelligent person realises this at about age 16. There is so much alternative media out there now. You don't have to feel so oppressed by this stuff. I don't listen to pop music or watch pop videos any more. You don't have to. Just put something else on. I agree in freedom of expression for all; even the brain-dead. If you get angry about everything, you can't even function anymore. And I'm angry about MOST things.
Oh wow, they just mentioned abortion! Surely abortion should be the NUMBER ONE subject for any feminist, the number one priority; a women's right to choose. It's so intrinsically important. There are people out there that want to force you to give birth against your will. All this other stuff is just a diversion.
The 'bin the bunny' thing against Playboy is just stupid; it makes people laugh at us as feminists, because people see it as frippery. And it is. The Girls of the Playboy Mansion TV show makes me feel sick; but so what. I used to have a Playboy pencil case when I was a teenager; so what? It didn't 'programme me to accept degradation and pornography in later life'- it just kept my pencils in check. It's just a logo, a picture. It can't hurt us unless we let it.
I agree that stereotypes of men and women have a lot to answer for; and the media enforce that. But men and women also enforce that. If you choose a different way; it's not that difficult to live like it. In fact, it's very easy.
I recognise loads of people from the feminist conference; the thought of 'feminist comedy' I found quite frightening, I must admit. It's weird seeing the footage from that conference because I was there, and it was well-meaning, but some of the speakers were just plain dull, and there was a real lack of humour (except for the feminist comedy, which I avoided, obviously). I hate to be such a downer, but I went there with expectations, and I came out feeling non-plussed, and that's surely not the aim of an event like that. I think it needed an injection of charisma. Some of these feminists are dare I say it; a bit sappy. And then the others are a bit... militant. I want a bit of humour and panache.
I agreed with the girl who said it can be lonely being a feminist. I'm always confused by my female friends who aren't feminists. How can you NOT care about your own sex, your own rights? It seems bizarre.
I thought the interviewer asking that feminist why she paints her nails was fucking stupid. Heaven forbid a feminist wants to look pretty.
Oh my god, there's no rape crisis centre in London! The whole of London! Now that's something to get upset about. That's disgusting. Rape IS legal in this country, it really is. Then afterwards; see you later, love.
I'm glad they touched (very briefly) on feminists having conflicting views; we're not one homogeneous mass, and no one should enforce their views onto others. I AM a feminist; and I have just as much right to call myself one as anyone else.
These documentaries are 15 minutes too long. I was getting very antsy towards the end.
Is this wave of feminism gathering momentum? Not really. Apathy rules. But you can make a change in your own life; with your own opinion, but explaining things very simply to people. And it does make a difference.
I got groped and almost robbed on the bus today. It's hard being a woman. But I'd still rather be one than a man.
I've been to the London Feminist Network conference and I found it very disappointing. It said nothing to me about my life, in so many ways. I don't care about objectification; I mean, I do, but not much. I care about violence against women and equal rights/ pay, not about prostitution, porn or glamour modelling. A friend of mine is a psychologist who also does pole dancing for fun. Partly thanks to Object, she can't do it any more, because a new law has arrived that labels her 'a sex worker' so she cannot legally work in the criminal justice system (she works in a prison) and do that. She's basically had to give up her fall-back for money. That's not freedom; it's oppression. Women-on-women oppression.
Who is portraying women as sexual objects? Magazines certainly do, but that doesn't make ME a sexual object. I like being a sexual being. I like some porn, and I like being objectified sometimes. Horrifying, I know. I am 100% a feminist. These are not issues for me. Domestic violence is an issue. Rape is an issue. Abortion is an issue. Not being able to walk down the street at night is an issue. The rest just feels like window dressing. And I'm not stupid, I understand how Page 3 dehumanises women, I understand how Nuts magazine dehumanises women. But do you socialise with 13-year-old Sun readers? Idiots will always be idiots. You can't make morons intelligent.
I understand what Fin in this programme was saying about the rage; I am enraged by sexism everywhere. But I enjoy being enraged. I enjoy being intelligent enough to see why something is sexist when someone else might not even question it. Knowledge is power. It's better to be oppressed than ignorant.
Two women a week killed by their male partner; that is something worth shouting about, worth raging against. Someone calling up for 'a prostitute like a pizza'? I'm not bothered.
I do hate sexist language; bird, slut, slag; it's all the same thing, something a woman can be called, but a man can't. I even hate 'hen' party with it's vision of twittering women. But what is the point of them reading ads for porn lines in the back of a magazine and complaining about it? It's like going to Wales and moaning that it's raining. I don't agree that men who watch porn see all women as 'slags'. Men compartmentalise sex; they can turn that off and on again; and guess what; so can women.
Oh god, the feminist songs! Spare me. This doesn't do much for our image. 'Po-faced' is levelled at us a lot; and this is why. A man reading The Star on the tube is clearly an idiot; let him get on with it. Does it really affect you? Getting angry about that is like getting angry at a park bench; in fact the park bench is probably more well-read.
Another friend of mine is a member of Object, and friends with Sandrine, but when I challenged her on the views she didn't seem to have the answers to why objectification is bad, just that it was bad. But if you're going to stand up for something, why not stand up for battered women, for rape victims? Glamour models and porn stars are making money. It's their choice, the majority of the time (except for in cases of trafficking etc- and that in itself is violence and rape, so why separate it) so why take that choice from women?
Music videos are soft porn. Movie stars encourage girls to starve themselves by being so thin. The way to arm yourself against this is to teach your children some morality; some common sense. There SHOULD be more curvy women in magazines. But there's not. So don't read magazines. You don't need that handbag or that diet plan. Any intelligent person realises this at about age 16. There is so much alternative media out there now. You don't have to feel so oppressed by this stuff. I don't listen to pop music or watch pop videos any more. You don't have to. Just put something else on. I agree in freedom of expression for all; even the brain-dead. If you get angry about everything, you can't even function anymore. And I'm angry about MOST things.
Oh wow, they just mentioned abortion! Surely abortion should be the NUMBER ONE subject for any feminist, the number one priority; a women's right to choose. It's so intrinsically important. There are people out there that want to force you to give birth against your will. All this other stuff is just a diversion.
The 'bin the bunny' thing against Playboy is just stupid; it makes people laugh at us as feminists, because people see it as frippery. And it is. The Girls of the Playboy Mansion TV show makes me feel sick; but so what. I used to have a Playboy pencil case when I was a teenager; so what? It didn't 'programme me to accept degradation and pornography in later life'- it just kept my pencils in check. It's just a logo, a picture. It can't hurt us unless we let it.
I agree that stereotypes of men and women have a lot to answer for; and the media enforce that. But men and women also enforce that. If you choose a different way; it's not that difficult to live like it. In fact, it's very easy.
I recognise loads of people from the feminist conference; the thought of 'feminist comedy' I found quite frightening, I must admit. It's weird seeing the footage from that conference because I was there, and it was well-meaning, but some of the speakers were just plain dull, and there was a real lack of humour (except for the feminist comedy, which I avoided, obviously). I hate to be such a downer, but I went there with expectations, and I came out feeling non-plussed, and that's surely not the aim of an event like that. I think it needed an injection of charisma. Some of these feminists are dare I say it; a bit sappy. And then the others are a bit... militant. I want a bit of humour and panache.
I agreed with the girl who said it can be lonely being a feminist. I'm always confused by my female friends who aren't feminists. How can you NOT care about your own sex, your own rights? It seems bizarre.
I thought the interviewer asking that feminist why she paints her nails was fucking stupid. Heaven forbid a feminist wants to look pretty.
Oh my god, there's no rape crisis centre in London! The whole of London! Now that's something to get upset about. That's disgusting. Rape IS legal in this country, it really is. Then afterwards; see you later, love.
I'm glad they touched (very briefly) on feminists having conflicting views; we're not one homogeneous mass, and no one should enforce their views onto others. I AM a feminist; and I have just as much right to call myself one as anyone else.
These documentaries are 15 minutes too long. I was getting very antsy towards the end.
Is this wave of feminism gathering momentum? Not really. Apathy rules. But you can make a change in your own life; with your own opinion, but explaining things very simply to people. And it does make a difference.
I got groped and almost robbed on the bus today. It's hard being a woman. But I'd still rather be one than a man.
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
BBC4: Women Libbers
This is part of the BBC4 Women series to celebrate International Women's Day and feminism. The first show was about women's lib in the late 60s and early 70s. I liked the opening statement 'Feminism is like a religion, I don't know how I would think without it.' I like that ideology; I COULD think without it, but I'd be much less of a person now if I didn't care about feminism and women's issues. I know; because I once was that person who didn't care about it. Yet today as I went up the escalator at King's Cross I divided the posters into 'sexist' and 'not sexist'. The sexist ones were mainly cartoons of blonde women in heels, shopping. These images permeate society. It's no wonder so many women haven't got a clue how to position themselves in society.
Who knew Cilla Black was a feminist icon? Not me! I might not have read The Female Eunuch (although if it's any good, I'll give it a go on audiobook) but I do understand the importance of access to abortion, access to jobs, access to freedom. The lack of those things is what equals oppression to me.
It's so exciting to hear views I believe in expressed eloquently on TV. So rare! Marilyn French was particularly cool; 'no man is going to save you'.
I feel continuously disappointed by my fellow woman; every time one changes her name unthinkingly when she marries, every time they say 'bird', every time they cheer on sports that would never accept them as participants. When you begin to see it, it is everywhere, and you can't stop.
It was quite exciting to see Germaine Greer all young and lippy in the 70s rather than shuffling around the Big Brother house after Jade Goody and her mum.
I kind of agree with her comments on not being a fan of marching (but I'm lazy) but I can understand the community spirit side of it even if it's not really for me.
The stuff about domestic roles was interesting; I have a completely equal relationship, in that there is no task that one or other of us is incapable of. I don't need someone to 'take the bins out' and my boyfriend picks up his own pants. So any mythological bunkum that men 'don't notice' washing up, or women can't hook up a stereo system is just bullshit. We both have brains and hands, we can both do it, and we both do it because we care about each other. I feel genuinely sorry for anyone living differently, and I know millions of women live differently to that, even women my age and younger. We have not progressed. Look at the adverts, look at TV shows. It's depressing.
Violence is another issue close to my heart, and women do live in fear of men, and always will. Men take for granted walking down the street at night; women find it frightening. We ARE prey, I totally agree with that.
Of course ALL men don't rape, but men should blame MEN for the fact they are seen as having this potential. I would be ashamed to be a man almost every day. Prisons are full of men. I watched a To Catch a Predator recently where they did a sting on hundreds of male paedophiles, and did not catch one woman. I'm not saying it never happens, that no women ever does it, because they do. But the number is minuscule in comparison.
The 'all women are lesbians' thing was interesting, that we can't be free unless we all go gay; I am curious about the idea of a society without men, except I don't fancy women, so it's difficult! I an envious of lesbian feminists though; just like I'm jealous of vegetarians. They really DO have the moral high ground!
Interesting stuff. So now it's 2010 and women's magazines are still telling you the 'right' way to have sex, and Loose Women is winning awards for 'factual entertainment'. The battle is far from won. I'll be interested to see the rest of this series.
Who knew Cilla Black was a feminist icon? Not me! I might not have read The Female Eunuch (although if it's any good, I'll give it a go on audiobook) but I do understand the importance of access to abortion, access to jobs, access to freedom. The lack of those things is what equals oppression to me.
It's so exciting to hear views I believe in expressed eloquently on TV. So rare! Marilyn French was particularly cool; 'no man is going to save you'.
I feel continuously disappointed by my fellow woman; every time one changes her name unthinkingly when she marries, every time they say 'bird', every time they cheer on sports that would never accept them as participants. When you begin to see it, it is everywhere, and you can't stop.
It was quite exciting to see Germaine Greer all young and lippy in the 70s rather than shuffling around the Big Brother house after Jade Goody and her mum.
I kind of agree with her comments on not being a fan of marching (but I'm lazy) but I can understand the community spirit side of it even if it's not really for me.
The stuff about domestic roles was interesting; I have a completely equal relationship, in that there is no task that one or other of us is incapable of. I don't need someone to 'take the bins out' and my boyfriend picks up his own pants. So any mythological bunkum that men 'don't notice' washing up, or women can't hook up a stereo system is just bullshit. We both have brains and hands, we can both do it, and we both do it because we care about each other. I feel genuinely sorry for anyone living differently, and I know millions of women live differently to that, even women my age and younger. We have not progressed. Look at the adverts, look at TV shows. It's depressing.
Violence is another issue close to my heart, and women do live in fear of men, and always will. Men take for granted walking down the street at night; women find it frightening. We ARE prey, I totally agree with that.
Of course ALL men don't rape, but men should blame MEN for the fact they are seen as having this potential. I would be ashamed to be a man almost every day. Prisons are full of men. I watched a To Catch a Predator recently where they did a sting on hundreds of male paedophiles, and did not catch one woman. I'm not saying it never happens, that no women ever does it, because they do. But the number is minuscule in comparison.
The 'all women are lesbians' thing was interesting, that we can't be free unless we all go gay; I am curious about the idea of a society without men, except I don't fancy women, so it's difficult! I an envious of lesbian feminists though; just like I'm jealous of vegetarians. They really DO have the moral high ground!
Interesting stuff. So now it's 2010 and women's magazines are still telling you the 'right' way to have sex, and Loose Women is winning awards for 'factual entertainment'. The battle is far from won. I'll be interested to see the rest of this series.
Monday, 12 October 2009
Exitainment Heroine: Vanessa Feltz
Female columnists: Bashing Vanessa Feltz for being fat and wearing garish clothes is so BORING and too EASY. Don't you think she doesn't know that she's fat? Don't you think she doesn't know that her dress is rather pink? Do you think she gives a fuck? Noooooo! (I can't excuse the shoes, but hey ho)I have always had a weird admiration for Vanessa Feltz, I like the way she sticks two fingers up at convention, I like the way she stands up for herself, I like the fact she's got strong opinions, and she's generally smiling.
Personally, I'd rather be Vanessa Feltz looking like that and having a laugh with that Turnaround twit than be Cheryl Cole, too afraid to trust her own husband. Because you get the feeling if Turnaround dude did the dirty on Vanessa, she'd just pick herself back up again, like she did after that douchebag husband left her. Vanessa has grit!
Say what you like about her, but she's got a younger man, she always looks happy, and she's pretty successful in various fields. I personally preferred her talk show to Trisha's load of old gubbins.
Wow, I just noticed those gloves. She has got some balls! Gok, keep your distance.
Thursday, 8 October 2009
Rant Blog: No TV so why not get sexually harrassed playing scrabble?
Wednesday night is clearly the death of TV; with no soaps to fill the hole, I am left floundering, twiddling my thumbs. So I turn to downloading some dreadful Placebo b-sides (I love you, Brian) and playing Facebook Scrabble.
If you're a girl; just don't play a man. Every. single. time. Where you from? How old are you? What you doing tonight? How does Scrabble and sex go together? It DOESN'T!!!
I actually vowed not to play men any more, but sometimes those pics move fast and you click in the wrong one, so I give the poor bloke a chance. Big mistake. 99% of the time if I play a woman they won't speak. If it's a man, they always do. They just have to try their luck.
Tonight's guy was holding a baby, seems harmless enough. Silly me.
Do you have a boyfriend? Yes. Then he says he has a partner and a baby. Good, I think, no sex chat here. Then; 'do you live with him/ you look about 18/ are you alone tonight?' He fired so many questions at me! Who asks for that when they play Scrabble? But I feel rude when I turn the chat off and someone is just being friendly and not creepy.
This is a man holding his child in his profile pic. Then I said 'this isn't the site for that' and that was the end of the game.
It's not actually FAIR that women have to put up with that, when just wanting to play a stupid game. There's enough sites out there for that stuff; they aint that hard to find. There's even specialist ones for cheating bastards; so go join one of them, you creepy fucker.
No more men! It shouldn't be this way. I wish men knew just how much low level harrassment women have to put up with daily. Just comments and looks and bloody patronising, sleazy bullshit, and it's not fair, because they don't have to put up with it, we don't encroach on their personal space in this insidious way.
Thanks, I needed to get this off my chest! The silly part is, on Friday when you want to have a drink and could live without the soaps, they force hours of them onto you.
If you're a girl; just don't play a man. Every. single. time. Where you from? How old are you? What you doing tonight? How does Scrabble and sex go together? It DOESN'T!!!
I actually vowed not to play men any more, but sometimes those pics move fast and you click in the wrong one, so I give the poor bloke a chance. Big mistake. 99% of the time if I play a woman they won't speak. If it's a man, they always do. They just have to try their luck.
Tonight's guy was holding a baby, seems harmless enough. Silly me.
Do you have a boyfriend? Yes. Then he says he has a partner and a baby. Good, I think, no sex chat here. Then; 'do you live with him/ you look about 18/ are you alone tonight?' He fired so many questions at me! Who asks for that when they play Scrabble? But I feel rude when I turn the chat off and someone is just being friendly and not creepy.
This is a man holding his child in his profile pic. Then I said 'this isn't the site for that' and that was the end of the game.
It's not actually FAIR that women have to put up with that, when just wanting to play a stupid game. There's enough sites out there for that stuff; they aint that hard to find. There's even specialist ones for cheating bastards; so go join one of them, you creepy fucker.
No more men! It shouldn't be this way. I wish men knew just how much low level harrassment women have to put up with daily. Just comments and looks and bloody patronising, sleazy bullshit, and it's not fair, because they don't have to put up with it, we don't encroach on their personal space in this insidious way.
Thanks, I needed to get this off my chest! The silly part is, on Friday when you want to have a drink and could live without the soaps, they force hours of them onto you.
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Equality... maybe in the next world
Was incensed by this 'lighthearted article' in the Daily Hate today by no-one's favourite horse-faced harridan Amanda Platell (I think the usual policy of not attacking people's personal appearance can be waived when discussing someone who makes a living from doing exactly that in the most disgusting way possible).
Amanda has written an article standing up for poor beleaguered men, and adverts taking the mick out of them (ironically whilst posting images of decades worth of sexually-insulting adverts aimed at women). And it's not like sexist adverts against women have stopped, as anyone who saw the recent(ish) BT advert with that plod from My Family on and his girlfriend going 'I lost the folder'- as if even merely glancing at a computer if you're a woman causes the entire hard-drive to spontaneously combust. Very subtle.
And what about that advert where that guy is watching the football and ordering is girlfriend to get his dinner? I don't know what that's for, but it offended me.
Platell goes on; 'As a society, we have become so institutionally sexist against men that it is now accepted practice to treat them as secondclass citizens. ' Oh well, not to worry, in the developing world women are still being stoned to death for not being virgins on their wedding night, so it's all swings and roundabouts, hey? And presumably 'in our society' the pay gap miraculously closed overnight and all the battered women's refuges were closed, and half naked men are appearing on Page 3 of The Sun now, yeah? How's that for a bit of role reversal? Gotta love equality!
She continues; 'On a more serious note, think of the raft of legislation that has been put in place to benefit women, and indeed positively discriminate in favour of them, often at the expense of male interests.' Like what? She doesn't offer a single example! Is she, a working woman, referring to maternity rights? (which incidentally do not apply to childless women- I can't personally think of any benefits I have over my male colleagues- and statistics have shown time and time again that men get paid more). If she is referring to maternity leave, then the implication is clear: get back in the kitchen and raise those babies, and keep your mouth shut, just like in the 'good old days'.
Does it not occur to this thick, humourless excuse for a woman that women have been ridiculed and abused for THOUSANDS of years? So now my boyfriend has to watch an advert where men are made fun of every once in a while. I think he can handle it. I don't think he needs you rushing to his defence, you traitor to your own sex, and a traitor to causes actually worth fighting for.
Even if men were routinely raped, beaten, mocked and paid less than women for the next ten thousand years it still wouldn't scratch the surface of levelling the playing-field. Doesn't she get that? And i'm not saying that I want that to happen, I'm saying that a couple of stupid adverts isn't exactly a big price to pay for a zillion years of supremacy.
I'm not even going to go into the bigoted drivel she spouts after that about any given minority, but her claim to speak for 'most people' is just plain offensive.
(Not) funnily enough, there was also a small story about a woman being sexually assaulted by a migrant, in an area where another woman was also raped. I can't find the link, but a police spokesman said (and I quote)... 'We constantly advise women not to walk alone in that area.' Can you see how insidious that language is? Oh, I see. So it's the victim's fault for being in that area! Silly woman, what was she thinking? Here was I thinking it was a free country, here was I thinking that the police might actually do something to protect women in a dodgy area, not wag their finger and go 'well, we did warn you...'
Equality... you're right, Amanda, we're far from it. And you disgust me.
Amanda has written an article standing up for poor beleaguered men, and adverts taking the mick out of them (ironically whilst posting images of decades worth of sexually-insulting adverts aimed at women). And it's not like sexist adverts against women have stopped, as anyone who saw the recent(ish) BT advert with that plod from My Family on and his girlfriend going 'I lost the folder'- as if even merely glancing at a computer if you're a woman causes the entire hard-drive to spontaneously combust. Very subtle.
And what about that advert where that guy is watching the football and ordering is girlfriend to get his dinner? I don't know what that's for, but it offended me.
Platell goes on; 'As a society, we have become so institutionally sexist against men that it is now accepted practice to treat them as secondclass citizens. ' Oh well, not to worry, in the developing world women are still being stoned to death for not being virgins on their wedding night, so it's all swings and roundabouts, hey? And presumably 'in our society' the pay gap miraculously closed overnight and all the battered women's refuges were closed, and half naked men are appearing on Page 3 of The Sun now, yeah? How's that for a bit of role reversal? Gotta love equality!
She continues; 'On a more serious note, think of the raft of legislation that has been put in place to benefit women, and indeed positively discriminate in favour of them, often at the expense of male interests.' Like what? She doesn't offer a single example! Is she, a working woman, referring to maternity rights? (which incidentally do not apply to childless women- I can't personally think of any benefits I have over my male colleagues- and statistics have shown time and time again that men get paid more). If she is referring to maternity leave, then the implication is clear: get back in the kitchen and raise those babies, and keep your mouth shut, just like in the 'good old days'.
Does it not occur to this thick, humourless excuse for a woman that women have been ridiculed and abused for THOUSANDS of years? So now my boyfriend has to watch an advert where men are made fun of every once in a while. I think he can handle it. I don't think he needs you rushing to his defence, you traitor to your own sex, and a traitor to causes actually worth fighting for.
Even if men were routinely raped, beaten, mocked and paid less than women for the next ten thousand years it still wouldn't scratch the surface of levelling the playing-field. Doesn't she get that? And i'm not saying that I want that to happen, I'm saying that a couple of stupid adverts isn't exactly a big price to pay for a zillion years of supremacy.
I'm not even going to go into the bigoted drivel she spouts after that about any given minority, but her claim to speak for 'most people' is just plain offensive.
(Not) funnily enough, there was also a small story about a woman being sexually assaulted by a migrant, in an area where another woman was also raped. I can't find the link, but a police spokesman said (and I quote)... 'We constantly advise women not to walk alone in that area.' Can you see how insidious that language is? Oh, I see. So it's the victim's fault for being in that area! Silly woman, what was she thinking? Here was I thinking it was a free country, here was I thinking that the police might actually do something to protect women in a dodgy area, not wag their finger and go 'well, we did warn you...'
Equality... you're right, Amanda, we're far from it. And you disgust me.
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Claire Richards: My Big Fat Wedding
I rememember seeing Claire Richards (of Steps infamy) on BBLB a while back and thinking 'oh my God.' She was FAT. Like so fat if you were her, you'd avoid going on camera at all costs. She was definitely the prettiest one out of Steps, but went from being a size 8 to a size 20. That's a lot of eating, trust me, because I eat a lot of bad things, and am overweight, so I can well imagine how much you'd have to eat to get that big.
Christ Steps sold 15 MILLION records, getting 13 top five singles, only beaten by The Beatles. Woah. I wonder how much of that cash they saw? Not much, I reckon.
Anyway, after leaving Steps she spent five years eating, and doubled her dress size by eating a zillion McDonalds. At her heaviest, and at five foot six, she weighed 16 and a half stone. Wow, that's quite a bit. That's some impressive eating. Fair play to her for letting them take pictures of her fat, and all her stretch marks, I'd just go hide in a cupboard somewhere.
It was funny how she looked fat; kind of pumped up. I know I've said this before, but my face doesn't get fat when my body does, so I just look in the mirror at my face and pretend I'm not fat. I'm sure the second I got a double chin, I'd become anorexic. But then my stomach is gross and I just try and ignore it and focus on my boobs looking good. That's one thing most fat girls do have; big boobs! In your face, skinny, long-legged girls!
Anyway, Claire's boyfriend proposed and she vowed to get down to a size 12, by losing four stone. A size 12 sounds managable, four stone sounds HARD!
It was kind of sad when she was looking at her old stage costumes; I've never been a size 8 in my life, so to go from 8 to 20 must be hard.
I liked the look of her wedding food; cheeseburgers and chips, Britney Spears stylee! That doesn't exactly smack of a healthy eating regime, does it?!
Six months later she went to get her photo retaken and when she looked at the old photo the photographer said 'that's horrific!' Nice, I'm sure that made all the fat women watching at home feel good about themselves. Then he said 'the heffer is no more'. Bet you didn't call her that then, did you, you cheeky fucker?
I thought she looked stunning as a size 14. But then she went to a health and fitness boot camp where you can lose a stone in a week. They were up and running around at 6.30am! Personally, I'd rather be fat.
Isn't it interesting that women are willing to put themselves through hell just to look good in a photo? Her boyfriend proposed to her when she was big; it's not like he was bothered. I didn't see him starving himself, either.
She ended up being ten stone six, which is a brilliant loss really, six and a half stone. Good on her, because she looked really good in her wedding dress, it was beautiful; and I respect the amount of effort she must have put in. But even fat she was still a trillion times more attractive than Lisa Scott-Lee.
Will she keep it off after the wedding, I wonder. I hope so, because she seems like a nice person and it's what she wants. But at the same time, fat people aren't horrific. And some men like fat girls. Some men like goofy girls, or ginger girls. Not all men like skinny. Not all men want the same thing. And not ALL women want a man, anyway. I once had an argument with a man who said if women were on a desert island on their own they wouldn't wear make up, because what was the point if there were no men around? But they would. They would do it just to feel better, just to look better. I would.
PS: wedding dress shop woman; not EVERY WOMAN dreams about the day they'll wear their wedding dress. I have never thought about it for one second, not even as a child. Some of us dream about space, or writing, or other women, or something else entirely.
There is more to life than weddings, or being skinny. But getting married to someone you love skinny is probably better than doing it fat. My feminist principles can't deny that one.
Christ Steps sold 15 MILLION records, getting 13 top five singles, only beaten by The Beatles. Woah. I wonder how much of that cash they saw? Not much, I reckon.
Anyway, after leaving Steps she spent five years eating, and doubled her dress size by eating a zillion McDonalds. At her heaviest, and at five foot six, she weighed 16 and a half stone. Wow, that's quite a bit. That's some impressive eating. Fair play to her for letting them take pictures of her fat, and all her stretch marks, I'd just go hide in a cupboard somewhere.
It was funny how she looked fat; kind of pumped up. I know I've said this before, but my face doesn't get fat when my body does, so I just look in the mirror at my face and pretend I'm not fat. I'm sure the second I got a double chin, I'd become anorexic. But then my stomach is gross and I just try and ignore it and focus on my boobs looking good. That's one thing most fat girls do have; big boobs! In your face, skinny, long-legged girls!
Anyway, Claire's boyfriend proposed and she vowed to get down to a size 12, by losing four stone. A size 12 sounds managable, four stone sounds HARD!
It was kind of sad when she was looking at her old stage costumes; I've never been a size 8 in my life, so to go from 8 to 20 must be hard.
I liked the look of her wedding food; cheeseburgers and chips, Britney Spears stylee! That doesn't exactly smack of a healthy eating regime, does it?!
Six months later she went to get her photo retaken and when she looked at the old photo the photographer said 'that's horrific!' Nice, I'm sure that made all the fat women watching at home feel good about themselves. Then he said 'the heffer is no more'. Bet you didn't call her that then, did you, you cheeky fucker?
I thought she looked stunning as a size 14. But then she went to a health and fitness boot camp where you can lose a stone in a week. They were up and running around at 6.30am! Personally, I'd rather be fat.
Isn't it interesting that women are willing to put themselves through hell just to look good in a photo? Her boyfriend proposed to her when she was big; it's not like he was bothered. I didn't see him starving himself, either.
She ended up being ten stone six, which is a brilliant loss really, six and a half stone. Good on her, because she looked really good in her wedding dress, it was beautiful; and I respect the amount of effort she must have put in. But even fat she was still a trillion times more attractive than Lisa Scott-Lee.
Will she keep it off after the wedding, I wonder. I hope so, because she seems like a nice person and it's what she wants. But at the same time, fat people aren't horrific. And some men like fat girls. Some men like goofy girls, or ginger girls. Not all men like skinny. Not all men want the same thing. And not ALL women want a man, anyway. I once had an argument with a man who said if women were on a desert island on their own they wouldn't wear make up, because what was the point if there were no men around? But they would. They would do it just to feel better, just to look better. I would.
PS: wedding dress shop woman; not EVERY WOMAN dreams about the day they'll wear their wedding dress. I have never thought about it for one second, not even as a child. Some of us dream about space, or writing, or other women, or something else entirely.
There is more to life than weddings, or being skinny. But getting married to someone you love skinny is probably better than doing it fat. My feminist principles can't deny that one.
Sunday, 3 May 2009
BBC3: Kirsten's Topless Ambition
You may NOT remember children's TV presenter Kirsten O' Brien from the broom cupboard (that must have been after the Schofield/ Crane/ Anstis golden era) or Smart, the art show WITHOUT that creepy guy in it (no, not Tony Hart, Neil Buchanan- and yes, I did have to look up his name).
Having watched many of her contempories speed past her on the career ladder (except Mark Speight who sadly wound up dead), she wondered if a route to moving to the next step could be to get her boobs out. Great. What a good example to the next generation.
She offended me within the first five seconds by refering to her breasts as 'norks' and then 'puppies'. Blergh.
Aw, she wants to be Cat Deeley, Mylene Klass or Fearne Cotton. Personally, I want to shoot the three of them. But hold on, I don't remember them getting their bits out (and I'm sure I would have). Oh, they did bikini shoots in FHM. That could have just been a coincidence, though.
Christ, Kirsten's stand up comedy must be pretty dire if that was her best joke. It was sad when she went out on the street to see if anyone recognised her and no one did. I would have, peculiarly. But I probably wouldn't have been able to name her.
What kind of person calls their breasts knockers?! I don't even like the word 'tits'.
Kirsten went to meet her friend presenter Angelica Bell (who I'd never heard of, but she did look vaguely familiar- although, less so than Kirsten) who modelled for FHM and then got a job on the One Show. From what I've seen, pretty much anyone can get a job on the One Show, it's bloody awful!
Angelica said she was so flattered that they wanted her to do it, 'I thought i'd never be in a men's mag, who would think I'm sexy?' For God's sake, they have any old boot-faced nobody from Big Brother in them; it's not about sexy, it's about 'let's see who we can get to take their clothes off for cash!' Like in casting couch pornos, basically. If you think that says anything about your own sexual worth, I pity you. She said 'it's not hurting anyone, it's not harming anyone' but actually, as a children's television presenter, it is. It's saying the sum of your parts is your body, not your presenting skills, and it puts women back. Ant and Dec didn't strip off to get gigs. They just worked hard. Kirsten did make this point later, to be fair, but then she said, it doesn't occur for blokes but for women..' but doesn't she understand the reason WHY that is? Because it's the EASY option to just be that bit of fluff, that airhead on a magazine. It's easy for men to put us in that box, espeically when we're so keen to get inside it ourselves. It's also tragic. I only ever wanted to be brainy.
I found it interesting what the agent she went to see said about 'dressing for where you want to be, not for where you are.' That's a fair point. And he was right; as she is still working in kid's TV it could damage her career greatly to go down the sexy route.
It was weird when she went to Zoo and met some glamour model who just introduced herself with her boobs out and made no attempt to cover herself up. What a weird alternative universe.
I was amused when she went to see a 'stylist to the stars' who said he just saw her 'as some twat from the broom cupboard.' URGH, then he told her she needed to bare her soul (ie. spill the beans on the Mark Speight drug/suicide tragedy) 'not in a tacky way, but in a Grazia way'. Gross! I'm glad she said she wasn't willing to do that (even if it wasn't directly to his face) He said 'thats the way we use the media.' No. That's the way the media uses YOU. Then he told her very matter-of-factly, 'men are not going to wank over you.' Good. That should be the best news she's had all day.
She went to Front magazine (no, me neither) who said they catered for the more emo-girls-with-their-jugs-out market. How very alternative! The offices looked full of the biggest losers of all time; blokes who could only dream of losing their virginity once they move out of their mum's.
Next Kirsten went to Anthea Turner's (insert mention of OK/ chocolate bar here) mansion to ask her about getting her kit of for Tatler (I must have wiped that particular image from my brain). It doesn't really matter if it's Tatler or Nuts, it only takes one look at your boobs, doesn't it. But then Anthea's boobs were covered by a snake (insert joke about Grant Bovey here). Anthea advised her not to do it.
Kirsten's next stop was Hooters, where they look for girls 'with a bubbly personality'. So they'd employ someone who was a size 16, yeah? Don't make me laugh. I doubt if those shorts go much higher than a 12. Oh God, then she went to see Peter Stringfellow. Fuck me. His definition of sexy appears to be two-tone hair. He told her to go be the new Carol Vorderman as she wasn't sexy! I don't think Stringfellow was saying that you can't be funny and sexy (look at me for example..!) I think he was saying Kirsten isn't funny and sexy.
It was sad when she went to FHM and he basically said they weren't interested and she got her polaroids out. He said 'you're borderline, you have an acceptable face.' Charming! Then she said 'it's good to hear.' No it isn't! Even I thought it was harsh and he wasn't saying it to me.
So in the end, she decided not to do it (mainly because no one wanted her to). Maybe she can be the new Natalie Cassidy, or Alesha Dixon, doing frilly little documentaries about body image for BBC3. Oh.
Having watched many of her contempories speed past her on the career ladder (except Mark Speight who sadly wound up dead), she wondered if a route to moving to the next step could be to get her boobs out. Great. What a good example to the next generation.
She offended me within the first five seconds by refering to her breasts as 'norks' and then 'puppies'. Blergh.
Aw, she wants to be Cat Deeley, Mylene Klass or Fearne Cotton. Personally, I want to shoot the three of them. But hold on, I don't remember them getting their bits out (and I'm sure I would have). Oh, they did bikini shoots in FHM. That could have just been a coincidence, though.
Christ, Kirsten's stand up comedy must be pretty dire if that was her best joke. It was sad when she went out on the street to see if anyone recognised her and no one did. I would have, peculiarly. But I probably wouldn't have been able to name her.
What kind of person calls their breasts knockers?! I don't even like the word 'tits'.
Kirsten went to meet her friend presenter Angelica Bell (who I'd never heard of, but she did look vaguely familiar- although, less so than Kirsten) who modelled for FHM and then got a job on the One Show. From what I've seen, pretty much anyone can get a job on the One Show, it's bloody awful!
Angelica said she was so flattered that they wanted her to do it, 'I thought i'd never be in a men's mag, who would think I'm sexy?' For God's sake, they have any old boot-faced nobody from Big Brother in them; it's not about sexy, it's about 'let's see who we can get to take their clothes off for cash!' Like in casting couch pornos, basically. If you think that says anything about your own sexual worth, I pity you. She said 'it's not hurting anyone, it's not harming anyone' but actually, as a children's television presenter, it is. It's saying the sum of your parts is your body, not your presenting skills, and it puts women back. Ant and Dec didn't strip off to get gigs. They just worked hard. Kirsten did make this point later, to be fair, but then she said, it doesn't occur for blokes but for women..' but doesn't she understand the reason WHY that is? Because it's the EASY option to just be that bit of fluff, that airhead on a magazine. It's easy for men to put us in that box, espeically when we're so keen to get inside it ourselves. It's also tragic. I only ever wanted to be brainy.
I found it interesting what the agent she went to see said about 'dressing for where you want to be, not for where you are.' That's a fair point. And he was right; as she is still working in kid's TV it could damage her career greatly to go down the sexy route.
It was weird when she went to Zoo and met some glamour model who just introduced herself with her boobs out and made no attempt to cover herself up. What a weird alternative universe.
I was amused when she went to see a 'stylist to the stars' who said he just saw her 'as some twat from the broom cupboard.' URGH, then he told her she needed to bare her soul (ie. spill the beans on the Mark Speight drug/suicide tragedy) 'not in a tacky way, but in a Grazia way'. Gross! I'm glad she said she wasn't willing to do that (even if it wasn't directly to his face) He said 'thats the way we use the media.' No. That's the way the media uses YOU. Then he told her very matter-of-factly, 'men are not going to wank over you.' Good. That should be the best news she's had all day.
She went to Front magazine (no, me neither) who said they catered for the more emo-girls-with-their-jugs-out market. How very alternative! The offices looked full of the biggest losers of all time; blokes who could only dream of losing their virginity once they move out of their mum's.
Next Kirsten went to Anthea Turner's (insert mention of OK/ chocolate bar here) mansion to ask her about getting her kit of for Tatler (I must have wiped that particular image from my brain). It doesn't really matter if it's Tatler or Nuts, it only takes one look at your boobs, doesn't it. But then Anthea's boobs were covered by a snake (insert joke about Grant Bovey here). Anthea advised her not to do it.
Kirsten's next stop was Hooters, where they look for girls 'with a bubbly personality'. So they'd employ someone who was a size 16, yeah? Don't make me laugh. I doubt if those shorts go much higher than a 12. Oh God, then she went to see Peter Stringfellow. Fuck me. His definition of sexy appears to be two-tone hair. He told her to go be the new Carol Vorderman as she wasn't sexy! I don't think Stringfellow was saying that you can't be funny and sexy (look at me for example..!) I think he was saying Kirsten isn't funny and sexy.
It was sad when she went to FHM and he basically said they weren't interested and she got her polaroids out. He said 'you're borderline, you have an acceptable face.' Charming! Then she said 'it's good to hear.' No it isn't! Even I thought it was harsh and he wasn't saying it to me.
So in the end, she decided not to do it (mainly because no one wanted her to). Maybe she can be the new Natalie Cassidy, or Alesha Dixon, doing frilly little documentaries about body image for BBC3. Oh.
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
Rihanna: Here's your chance to be a role model
You can't have failed to read the story of pop singer Rhianna beaten up by her boyfriend Chris Brown (I can sing you a bit of Umbrella, but him, not so sure- perhaps that was part of the problem) whilst en route to the Grammys.
The story took several twists and turns. Firstly I found it shocking that the story even broke in the first place; you can only imagine how much of this stuff goes on and is carefully brushed under the (red) carpet? The fact this even scratched our radar proved it was something very bad indeed. Once the pictures leaked, it was unthinkable that she would take him back; why would she? A successful, independant pop star, greatly admired by people with you know, no taste in music, but don't hold that against her.
There was a positive moment when her dad spoke up and said 'At some point, she will speak out. I hope she will stand up for women all over the world.' My heart soared when he said that; I really hoped that would be the case. I looked forward to that.
And then...
'Role model' has always struck me as a horrible phrase; who would want to be one? When The One Show robots asked Moz if he has a responsibility to his fans, he replied, 'I have a responsibility to no one.' And thank God.
But the life of a pop show-pony is different. Rhianna (and Chris Brown) produce music for teenagers. It is all about appearance (because there genuinely is nothing underneath). It is image, image, image; if you look right, and can be marketed correctly, it doesn't matter how you sound. Look at the way Britney's meltdown has been all but erased, even though it's still written all over her face. If they say it enough times, maybe we'll believe she's that sweet little girl again, and not picture the hospital stretcher and the dilated pupils and the headshaving. Oh and don't mention the children, she sure loves those little boys.
In the rock/indie world, this kind of behaviour adds to your kudos. But the pop world is a different machine. The Simon Cowells and Pete Watermans want these people wrapped in plastic, saying the right thing. Domestic violence? That's an issue not conducive with the glitz and the glam- the lie.
Chris Brown is beneath contempt. I refuse to believe he could claw his way back into any sort of career; he has got to be finished (please don't let this statement come back to haunt me). Wife-beating is about one rung more sales-friendly as kiddy- fiddling, I'd hope. But Rhianna? She has the opportunity now for something amazing, something to be proud of, and that is to be a good example to every 18-year-old girl getting slapped around by her boyfriend, or any married woman getting regular beatings. If Jade Goody can really make thousands of women go and get a smear test, then Rhianna could make at least a few young women in awe of her look twice at their relationship, look twice at their face and realise they want it to stay pretty. They might think, 'if Rhianna can leave, so can I.' She needs to stand up and make a statement, and not just a verbal one, but one with her actions.
If she gets back with Chris Brown, what kind of message is that sending out? That even with all her money and success, she can't do any better. So God help women trapped in poverty being abused, or women so ground down that they can't see a way out. Because if even Rhianna's advisors, her PR machine, and apparently close family can't stop her going back, then what hope is there for the average women who you know, loves him, and he's nice 95% of the time, right, and he's so sorry afterwards (these things are cliches because they are true).
I don't believe what I read anyway, so hopefully it's not the case. But if it is, she could end up doing more unintentional harm to women than that thick fucking pig of a boyfriend of hers. And it may seem anti-feminist, and like I'm blaming the victim; I'm not. Because this is about women. But too many women have dropped the charges, only to see this man they love coming at them with a knife next time, or turning up with a shotgun, or murdering their kids, or their mum, or their new boyfriend, or the whole bloody lot.
I do believe that occasionally abusers who want to can change. But they can't change overnight. And they have to realise what they've done is abhorrent, not just be told it. And they have to be genuinely sorry; wait for a lot of time to pass, and in the vast majority of cases, to not be with that person they hurt anymore. Because those dynamics in that relationship have changed forever.
A story on Digtal Spy today says, 'Rihanna's father Ronald Fenty recently insisted that he would support his daughter's decision to rekindle the romance.' That's not a romance. It's a crime scene.
The story took several twists and turns. Firstly I found it shocking that the story even broke in the first place; you can only imagine how much of this stuff goes on and is carefully brushed under the (red) carpet? The fact this even scratched our radar proved it was something very bad indeed. Once the pictures leaked, it was unthinkable that she would take him back; why would she? A successful, independant pop star, greatly admired by people with you know, no taste in music, but don't hold that against her.
There was a positive moment when her dad spoke up and said 'At some point, she will speak out. I hope she will stand up for women all over the world.' My heart soared when he said that; I really hoped that would be the case. I looked forward to that.
And then...
'Role model' has always struck me as a horrible phrase; who would want to be one? When The One Show robots asked Moz if he has a responsibility to his fans, he replied, 'I have a responsibility to no one.' And thank God.
But the life of a pop show-pony is different. Rhianna (and Chris Brown) produce music for teenagers. It is all about appearance (because there genuinely is nothing underneath). It is image, image, image; if you look right, and can be marketed correctly, it doesn't matter how you sound. Look at the way Britney's meltdown has been all but erased, even though it's still written all over her face. If they say it enough times, maybe we'll believe she's that sweet little girl again, and not picture the hospital stretcher and the dilated pupils and the headshaving. Oh and don't mention the children, she sure loves those little boys.
In the rock/indie world, this kind of behaviour adds to your kudos. But the pop world is a different machine. The Simon Cowells and Pete Watermans want these people wrapped in plastic, saying the right thing. Domestic violence? That's an issue not conducive with the glitz and the glam- the lie.
Chris Brown is beneath contempt. I refuse to believe he could claw his way back into any sort of career; he has got to be finished (please don't let this statement come back to haunt me). Wife-beating is about one rung more sales-friendly as kiddy- fiddling, I'd hope. But Rhianna? She has the opportunity now for something amazing, something to be proud of, and that is to be a good example to every 18-year-old girl getting slapped around by her boyfriend, or any married woman getting regular beatings. If Jade Goody can really make thousands of women go and get a smear test, then Rhianna could make at least a few young women in awe of her look twice at their relationship, look twice at their face and realise they want it to stay pretty. They might think, 'if Rhianna can leave, so can I.' She needs to stand up and make a statement, and not just a verbal one, but one with her actions.
If she gets back with Chris Brown, what kind of message is that sending out? That even with all her money and success, she can't do any better. So God help women trapped in poverty being abused, or women so ground down that they can't see a way out. Because if even Rhianna's advisors, her PR machine, and apparently close family can't stop her going back, then what hope is there for the average women who you know, loves him, and he's nice 95% of the time, right, and he's so sorry afterwards (these things are cliches because they are true).
I don't believe what I read anyway, so hopefully it's not the case. But if it is, she could end up doing more unintentional harm to women than that thick fucking pig of a boyfriend of hers. And it may seem anti-feminist, and like I'm blaming the victim; I'm not. Because this is about women. But too many women have dropped the charges, only to see this man they love coming at them with a knife next time, or turning up with a shotgun, or murdering their kids, or their mum, or their new boyfriend, or the whole bloody lot.
I do believe that occasionally abusers who want to can change. But they can't change overnight. And they have to realise what they've done is abhorrent, not just be told it. And they have to be genuinely sorry; wait for a lot of time to pass, and in the vast majority of cases, to not be with that person they hurt anymore. Because those dynamics in that relationship have changed forever.
A story on Digtal Spy today says, 'Rihanna's father Ronald Fenty recently insisted that he would support his daughter's decision to rekindle the romance.' That's not a romance. It's a crime scene.
Thursday, 9 October 2008
Documentary- Dispatches: The Hidden World of Lap Dancing
Sorry I’m a couple of days late on this one, but thank god for More 4, because I’m still without laptop. This episode of Dispatches followed a poor beleaguered reporter who was forced to go undercover in lap dancing clubs (it’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it). He discovered sometimes the lap dancers get a bit close (no shit) and occasionally, with the emphasis on occasionally, sex is offered.
Firstly, as a feminist, let me say I have massively mixed feelings about lap dancing. I completely agree that they should be licensed as sexual entertainment; not dancing. It IS sexual entertainment, and the law around them seems very ropey, and to have been designed with deliberate loop-holes. It does seem wrong. So I totally agree with that side of it.
BUT there is another side of it I just can't get excited about. I do not CARE if men want to go and watch women rub their fannies in their faces. I think the men are fools; they are paying mega bucks for what is essentially a load of hot air. I am also quite happy for women to make their money that way. It’s not what I want to do, but I am not going to deny others their liberty. Women are objectified everywhere you look, and it is depressing, but I can’t get excited about it when there are so much bigger issues facing women. To change the way magazines/ society sees women will take a hundred years, in my opinion. There are other fights we can win much sooner.
As for Mr and Mrs Jones going 'I hate the thought of what goes on in there' well, don't think about it! There is massively fucked-up stuff going on behind closed doors EVERYWHERE, but it’s none of your business. Part of it is just about one section of society trying to assert their moral values on another. One woman was like ‘we have to walk past it every day’, so what? It’s just like walking past a shop. It’s just a shop with a picture of a woman outside.
I understand to an extent why you’d be annoyed if there was a lapdancing club right beneath your block of flats because you might get comments from men/ a bit of hassle, but that is a problem with MEN, not lap dancing. And again, the licensing should be changed. That has nothing to do with what actually goes on inside the clubs, and the morality of it.
There is an odd group of people against lapdancing, and it seems a strange marriage between the very conservative and the feminists opposing the clubs. I want to really distance myself as much from the highly conservative people as possible; and I think feminists have a danger of looking po-faced and even anti-women in this debate. BUT porn and sex work is always something that divides feminists, and always will. I personally think prostitution should be legalised; and made safer. You can’t stop it. So make it safer for the women.
Personally I wanted to see more of the reporter’s FACE when he was getting the lapdances! I wonder if he got excited? Haha. Also, what amazing bodies the women had! Bloody hell. And how funny was that councillor bloke they interviewed for about 30 seconds? He was a comedy character in waiting!
So, licensing laws bad, busy-bodies bad, feminism doing it’s best and lap dancing not bad. That’s my position on it.
Firstly, as a feminist, let me say I have massively mixed feelings about lap dancing. I completely agree that they should be licensed as sexual entertainment; not dancing. It IS sexual entertainment, and the law around them seems very ropey, and to have been designed with deliberate loop-holes. It does seem wrong. So I totally agree with that side of it.
BUT there is another side of it I just can't get excited about. I do not CARE if men want to go and watch women rub their fannies in their faces. I think the men are fools; they are paying mega bucks for what is essentially a load of hot air. I am also quite happy for women to make their money that way. It’s not what I want to do, but I am not going to deny others their liberty. Women are objectified everywhere you look, and it is depressing, but I can’t get excited about it when there are so much bigger issues facing women. To change the way magazines/ society sees women will take a hundred years, in my opinion. There are other fights we can win much sooner.
As for Mr and Mrs Jones going 'I hate the thought of what goes on in there' well, don't think about it! There is massively fucked-up stuff going on behind closed doors EVERYWHERE, but it’s none of your business. Part of it is just about one section of society trying to assert their moral values on another. One woman was like ‘we have to walk past it every day’, so what? It’s just like walking past a shop. It’s just a shop with a picture of a woman outside.
I understand to an extent why you’d be annoyed if there was a lapdancing club right beneath your block of flats because you might get comments from men/ a bit of hassle, but that is a problem with MEN, not lap dancing. And again, the licensing should be changed. That has nothing to do with what actually goes on inside the clubs, and the morality of it.
There is an odd group of people against lapdancing, and it seems a strange marriage between the very conservative and the feminists opposing the clubs. I want to really distance myself as much from the highly conservative people as possible; and I think feminists have a danger of looking po-faced and even anti-women in this debate. BUT porn and sex work is always something that divides feminists, and always will. I personally think prostitution should be legalised; and made safer. You can’t stop it. So make it safer for the women.
Personally I wanted to see more of the reporter’s FACE when he was getting the lapdances! I wonder if he got excited? Haha. Also, what amazing bodies the women had! Bloody hell. And how funny was that councillor bloke they interviewed for about 30 seconds? He was a comedy character in waiting!
So, licensing laws bad, busy-bodies bad, feminism doing it’s best and lap dancing not bad. That’s my position on it.
Monday, 16 June 2008
Film Review: Teeth
Two films in one weekend? That's a big commitment if you're me and have the attention span of an idiot. I downloaded Teeth after hearing about it's 'unusual' storyline- namely that of a girl with a vagina that bites bloke's dicks off. Yummy!
So it was part horror/ part comedy. It was quite slow to start I thought (maybe a bit of dick-chomping action to kick off might have been nice) but once things started happening (in the cave!) it picked up. I liked the boyfriend! He was cute. But he got what he deserved! Hehehe. The special effects were pretty good, his severed penis looked extremely realistic (puke!)
I did want to SEE the teeth in the vagina, sick as I am. And why did she peel that sticker off the drawing of the fanny in her science book when she could have just looked at a diagram online?
There was a weird subplot with her brother (stepbrother, I hope) doing girls up the arse because he was scared of fanny (since hers bit his finger when he was little). He was a very unpleasant character, and not in the slightest bit realistic. But there you go. Why was he touching her bits in the first place? I definitely did NOT play tha game when I was a nipper.
It did raise some interesting questions. Why was virtually every bloke she encountered a rapist or sex offender (including her doctor!)? Are all men potential rapists? Was the film written by a radical feminist? It seemed a TAD harsh! But I must admit, it would be pretty cool to bite someone's dick off with your vagina. It is the ultimate self-defence.
Definitely worth a watch if you're not squeamish, if you are, I wouldn't want to be eating when she shags the ugly guy with the long hair. My eyes! That was revolting. I'd have nightmares about that if I was a bloke.
So yeah, vaginas and penises! Cool, if I put loads of sex words in my blog, I get loads more hits! *tags lots of naughty words*
So it was part horror/ part comedy. It was quite slow to start I thought (maybe a bit of dick-chomping action to kick off might have been nice) but once things started happening (in the cave!) it picked up. I liked the boyfriend! He was cute. But he got what he deserved! Hehehe. The special effects were pretty good, his severed penis looked extremely realistic (puke!)
I did want to SEE the teeth in the vagina, sick as I am. And why did she peel that sticker off the drawing of the fanny in her science book when she could have just looked at a diagram online?
There was a weird subplot with her brother (stepbrother, I hope) doing girls up the arse because he was scared of fanny (since hers bit his finger when he was little). He was a very unpleasant character, and not in the slightest bit realistic. But there you go. Why was he touching her bits in the first place? I definitely did NOT play tha game when I was a nipper.
It did raise some interesting questions. Why was virtually every bloke she encountered a rapist or sex offender (including her doctor!)? Are all men potential rapists? Was the film written by a radical feminist? It seemed a TAD harsh! But I must admit, it would be pretty cool to bite someone's dick off with your vagina. It is the ultimate self-defence.
Definitely worth a watch if you're not squeamish, if you are, I wouldn't want to be eating when she shags the ugly guy with the long hair. My eyes! That was revolting. I'd have nightmares about that if I was a bloke.
So yeah, vaginas and penises! Cool, if I put loads of sex words in my blog, I get loads more hits! *tags lots of naughty words*
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