Evening all! I'm a bit under the cosh tonight as I'm writing this blog and then dashing off to a Eurovision party, which I'll be blogging as ever. Because what you want after three hours of Eurovision is to relive it all, right?
But anyway, on with The Voice. So tonight we decide who to evict (sorry, save). Holly's new catchphrase is clearly 'it's not easy'. Well, it can't be, having Cheryl coming up - singing live.
Ruth! I so don't care. Does anyone? I think we might find out tonight that they don't, despite all the praise heaped on her. Stop blowing smoke up her arse, Danny. Dead dad. Sob story vote! Boo. Underhand tactics.
LOL to Will.i.am having his Olympic torch with him. I bet Jessie J is seething, he's not even from the UK and he was asked. Why, I have no idea. But he was asked and she wasn't, that's the point. Actually, I saw Wills on Alan Carr last night and he was quite good. I am warming to old Will, yes I am.
Jessie saying Vince was cheesy last week. Funny, she didn't mention it in her comments after he sang. I wonder why? Oh and now she's lost her voice. What a SHAME. How will we cope without her words of wisdom?
Ooh, Vince is whipping it right from under Tyler's nose by singing Back to Black. This is the only Amy Winehouse song I like - but it's a bloody good one. That video is ace. He's not singing it very well, though.
Song choice is very important! Tell that to Gary 'it's not a song choosing competition' Barlow on ITV. The comments are so useless and unhelpful they might as well not bother. Not EVERYONE can make it to the final.
Will: dope. Check. Twitter. Check.
Jessie: 'I'm always honest.' No. Also, stop going on about 'artists', it makes me cringe. You have to prove yourself to be an artist; talent show contestants are not artists; well, except Bo Bruce *biased!*
Max is doing a mournful version of Every Breath You Take. Bye, Max. Max is so bland even his mother sometimes forgets what he looks like.
Will: 'I don't want to say anything that influences anything'. I think you're in the wrong job on here, then. At least he's saying something vaguely critical. LOL, you were flat. Bad luck, Max. That was un-dope. I just noticed Max's beard. Dear Lord.
Jessie J: 'Artists, artists, artists.' Fuck off.
Peter Andre (sorry, Danny) thought it was brill. I wonder if that's cos Max is his act? 'You're like a young Sting.' Gordon, then.
Jaz is doing Let it Be. I can play that on the keyboard. That and Oh When the Saints. That's the full extent of my repertoire. I think Jessie J is becoming more monotone than Jordan. She's so repetitive, too. 'Riffs and trills?' Oh, please stick it. Jaz bores be stiff. He should be on American Idol, doing songs from 40 years ago.
Will just said 'you can't climax at a climax' and no one even laughed.
Leanne is lovely, but like Jaz, she's on the wrong show. It's just too old fashioned for my taste. Her voice is good, though.
Becky is good, I hope she doesn't have a meltdown tonight. I don't like this song she's singing much, it's quite dreary and she sounds a bit off. Jessie J looked shocked when he said he didn't know the song; I don't either, plus it was shit.
Haha, I was going to write Jessie J just made it through a comment without using the word 'artist' but then she said it. She's more predictable than Louis Walsh, and that's saying something.
Danny: 'every time Bo opens her mouth angels fly out.' That must be quite inconvenient when you're trying to order a McDonalds.
Oh don't do a sob story for Bo, she doesn't need it. She doesn't need to beg for 'acceptance' from the masses. She's doing Charlie Brown by Coldplay. What the hell is that? She should have done The Hardest Part, that's the best Coldplay song ever. Did she miss her intro? Maybe she should have done a better known Coldplay song. She seems a bit lacklustre this week. Oh, no, I really don't want her to go. If she does, I'm resting the blame solely on Chris Martin. That song wasn't quite right for her voice. Eek.
Jessie doesn't want to heap too much praise on Bo, in case her obvious favourite Vince goes out. Danny is right: Bo is the most individual ARTIST in the show. I hope what Will says comes true and she does make it. She deserves to.
Tyler's doing Bohemian Rhapsody. Oh, he's not dredging up poor Amy again is he? As if she doesn't have enough to deal with in that grave with Mitch constantly stoking at the soil.
Nice suit! Looks like the one Alan Carr was wearing last night. Oh God, this is going to be really bad. I hope he does the really fast bit. At least its BoRap in 30 seconds. The worst is when someone picks this shit on karaoke. Ha, he is doing this bit. This is camper than anything we'll see on Eurovision tonight. Never has 'spare me from this monstrosity' seemed more apt.
Oh, that's it. Just Cheryl to go.But I can't comment as I'm running out the door! I'll comment at the start of Eurovision. What a cliffhanger.
Please save Bo...
OK I haven't got time to read this through cos my cab is here, so if
there are typos, please forgive me. I know not what I done. See you in a
few hours after Eurovision. God knows what state I'll be in by then.
Showing posts with label Becky. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Becky. Show all posts
Saturday, 26 May 2012
Sunday, 20 May 2012
The Voice: the sore loser edition
Oh so they've changed their clothes to give the illusion that it's a different night. That's nice of them to bother. Well, Holly's got half changed at least. Oh they're letting Reggie out of the backroom again. Apparently in an interview when he was trying to be a rapper he dismissed tv talents shows as a load of old horseshit. It's hard to pay those bills on the mean streets, though, isn't it? Dope!
Just a FYI Jessie: zig zag partings are not back in fashion. And never will be. What next, bringing back the bindi? Gwen Stefani has a lot to answer for.
Vince/ Brian Harvey is first through. God knows how, he's so unlikeable it feels like he should be hanging round with Peaches Geldof.
Why does Jessie always talk as if she's delivering some terminal cancer results? She's got that Cheryl Cole way of speaking, as if she's announcing the arrival of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.
I barely know who Paloma Faith is, and only from the pages in Heat where they slag off what you're wearing. She's in it most weeks.This show has been all filler and no killer so far.
BO is through! Well, obviously. She has more star quality in her eyelashes than the entire judges' panel, let alone the contestants. She has a presence on the screen that none of the others have. If she doesn't win it, I'd be very, very surprised.
Deano/ Chris Fountain/ Moon brother isn't handling himself very well in the green room. Looks like he's about to do a little lip wobble if his doesn't get his own way. Should have had something more useful in those pockets; like some charisma.
I hope Becky gets through out of Jessie's team as she's the most interesting. Cassius: dull. Toni: not a chance. Yep, Jessie did the right thing, there.
A jazzy version of Roxanne: that's just the ticket. Fast forward. Both these two can fuck right off in my opinion. Overrated bullshit and over-indulgent twaddle.
Deano is doing some proper sad facing. I don't think it's going to get him through, though. Because he's not much cop. Acting like a spoilt brat on TV is never a good idea. Just ask Nikki Grahame. Is he going to start crying? It's quite unprofessional. Take it like a man, kiddywinks. This is hilarious. I wouldn't want to be the one offering emotional first aid to him tonight. Looks like he might go put his fist through a window. Or maybe chuck one of his teddybears on the floor and stamp on it. He's only 17! He's acting like he's fucking seven. Mind you, it's probably past his bedtime. Night!
Just a FYI Jessie: zig zag partings are not back in fashion. And never will be. What next, bringing back the bindi? Gwen Stefani has a lot to answer for.
Vince/ Brian Harvey is first through. God knows how, he's so unlikeable it feels like he should be hanging round with Peaches Geldof.
Why does Jessie always talk as if she's delivering some terminal cancer results? She's got that Cheryl Cole way of speaking, as if she's announcing the arrival of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.
I barely know who Paloma Faith is, and only from the pages in Heat where they slag off what you're wearing. She's in it most weeks.This show has been all filler and no killer so far.
BO is through! Well, obviously. She has more star quality in her eyelashes than the entire judges' panel, let alone the contestants. She has a presence on the screen that none of the others have. If she doesn't win it, I'd be very, very surprised.
Deano/ Chris Fountain/ Moon brother isn't handling himself very well in the green room. Looks like he's about to do a little lip wobble if his doesn't get his own way. Should have had something more useful in those pockets; like some charisma.
I hope Becky gets through out of Jessie's team as she's the most interesting. Cassius: dull. Toni: not a chance. Yep, Jessie did the right thing, there.
A jazzy version of Roxanne: that's just the ticket. Fast forward. Both these two can fuck right off in my opinion. Overrated bullshit and over-indulgent twaddle.
Deano is doing some proper sad facing. I don't think it's going to get him through, though. Because he's not much cop. Acting like a spoilt brat on TV is never a good idea. Just ask Nikki Grahame. Is he going to start crying? It's quite unprofessional. Take it like a man, kiddywinks. This is hilarious. I wouldn't want to be the one offering emotional first aid to him tonight. Looks like he might go put his fist through a window. Or maybe chuck one of his teddybears on the floor and stamp on it. He's only 17! He's acting like he's fucking seven. Mind you, it's probably past his bedtime. Night!
Saturday, 19 May 2012
The Voice: Tonight every think counts
Bo Bruce tonight, thank God. I do think The Voice is getting a hard time in the press. It's good fun! Mind you, I loved Fame Academy. Who can forget the lovely Lemar and Ainslie? They were lush. Besides, Britain's Got Talent is TIRED. I pity anyone watching that old horseshit. Damn that dancing dog! Damn him to hell.
Let's get the outfits out of the way: Holly rocking a lovely curtain (bet that's not from Very). Jessie's come as a hateful Minnie Mouse. William's come as one of those square office toys with all the pins in that you used to put your palm into in the 80s.
Bowling is the Jessie J's 'secret little thing to do'. That and lesbianism. I notice they're in some private alley: why don't they go to the Trocadero like everyone else? UV times!
Jessie J knows nothing of professionalism. If your mic isn't working, just carry on singing like you normally do. God, she's so arrogant and annoying. I'm glad they've got the sound working now. Sounds much better. *panface*
It's a live show! Live show! Live show. Yeah, well done for not miming, give yourself a Werthers Original.
Max is up first. I don't remember him so that doesn't bode well. At least we don't have to look at Tyler's serial killer face this week. They're setting this Max up as the new Olly Murs, aren't they? Lol, he's doing doing a little rap and he seemed a bit out of breath. It was only about two sentences. I can rap the whole first verse of Without Me by Eminem without skipping a beat. I think his voice is OK but I don't like the direction they're pushing him in. I don't even know what this song is. He's a cute little thing but he's just boring.
I'm surprised Jessie J isn't saying 'on NATIONAL television'. She sounds like a Jeremy Kyle guest. I've seen less severe Croydon facelifts on that show. And more eloquent guests.
William: 'blinds or no blinds?' Is that a new TV programme? He talks complete hogwash, but at least it's fun. What is Tom Jones bringing to the party except endless anecdotes about dead people?
Cassius, it's over. Or is it? Who knows. Who's that on the piano? Is it Louis Theroux? Turning tables sounds like my friends' proposed invention of floating cocaine tables (not one I've seen in Dragon's Den, but maybe one day). This song should be called Turgid Turkeys instead. Make it stop. The best bit was when he went went 'woo' at the end, and that was only because it was stupid. Is Cassius a midget? Holly looks like Amazonian next to him. It looks like she's about to start breastfeeding him.
Tom Jones is being so insightful tonight. How much are they paying him for this blarney? Did Danny just ask Cassius if he was 'diddy'? I think that's apparent. Even Willy can't think of anything clever to say.
Bo! Select her. How can you sing 'Love the way you lie?' It's all a rap! I tried doing that on karaoke recently and it was hard, I was out of breath. I hope she's going to do the line about 'watch her leave out the window, guess that's why they call it window pane'. That's the best line ever. What's this other bit she's doing? It's rather nice. But where's the volcano meeting the tornado, hey? Where's the Nintendo game line? She looks cool. Must be nice to be described as 'marketable'. Oh, and she's got a bad back, too. Has he been rubbing in some Deep Heat for her? Even she looked embarrassed. She doesn't need the bad back vote, Danny, she's better than that.
'A whole bunch of times more better than Rhianna' say Will. That's almost English. 'Bo, woah'. Oh no, now Jessie has nicked my Bo selecta joke. Motherfuck. Come on Bo, do those Princess Diana eyes to camera. You gotta win this. You've got proper talent compared to the others. There's no Tommy Reilly here now. And definitely no... whoever the other ones were.
I want to like this Vince guy. But he bugs me a little. Maybe it's the make up. Maybe it's the fact he looks a bit like Brian Harvey. And my friend Phoxx. Oh God, he's doing Olly Murs lite, too. WE'VE ALREADY GOT OLLY MURS. That's one Olly Murs too many already. Got it?
LOL, he just did a Jessie J style 'huh!' He's learning from the best. Look at his vest. He looks a prat. Jessie: 'Vince has worked so hard on his look.' Really? Looks like he had about 2.50 in his pocket and just spent 30 seconds browsing H&M's sale rail.
OH MY GOD DID DANNY JUST SAY 'YOU COULD SING THE PHONE BOOK AND BE AMAZING'? I thought I'd left this bullshit behind with Simon Cowell. This is unacceptable. I wonder what would happen if you sung the phone book? You'd have to start with AAAAAardvark taxis, wouldn't you? Someone should try this on YouTube.
Alex: the lost Moon brother. One extra Chris Fountain. We must stop him now. He's talking about his 'target audience'. What a tosser. He sounds like an Apprentice contestant.
If only we could bottle Danny's enthusiasm. Then we could all enjoy this rubbish, plodding non-starter of a song. The braces. The hands in the pockets. The star presence. Even I could sing this load of shit. Take his 'target audience' into a field and shoot them, starting with the youngest.
Danny 'he's only 17 years old.' Is this excuses week? Has he stubbed his toe and all? Jessie is right: it was safe. And not in a good Jason Statham way, with a gun. But then would a big band version of Jet been better? Would it? He's only 17. Isn't Justin Beiber 17? And just look at his amazing tal- oh.
Alex wanted to 'give us a break from strong powerful singers'. If I want a break I'll go watch ITV.
Danny O Sing the Phonebook does remind me of Peter Andre in that his positivity is so transparently fake. You know he's going to go home and cry into his cornflakes.
Oh God, Becky's doing Seven Nation Army. White Stripes or Marcus Collins? Crimped hair! How very 1996. I've got a photo of me with crimped hair and blue eye shadow wearing a nightie. I considered that suitable attire for nightclubbing at 16. I think she's got a decent voice she just needs some better direction. She did a bit of a Harry Hill style ending there. Oh, I miss you, Harry.
What rude thing did Becky say in the heat of the moment? I didn't hear it. Jessie J is issuing cockney counselling. Is Tom's hearing aid working? Oh dear, it's all going to pot, isn't it? Get Reggie out from the back to sort it out, Rastamouse must have a bifta on the go to short shit out. Becky's having a crack up. I blame Holly for giving her a tell off.
David's got a sob story instead of an ailment. He's my second favourite after Bo Bruce so I hope he doesn't fuck it up this week. Is he stalking someone via TV? That's a bit creepy. Fucking hell, it's another dreary song. He does have a good voice, though. She WILL be loved, whether she likes it or not. *Restraining order* He can't hit that 'will' note, and they've got backing vocals to cover it. That Temper Trap song was way better. Will is right to criticise that song choice.
Jessie J is giving it 'nononononononononono'. Are they having an artificial fight? I think Will won that round by just singing Vanilla Ice as a response to Danny's stream of BS. I think I actually LIKE Will.i.am now. Why is this happening?!!
Fuck off baldy and fuck off Elton John. Song choice! Holly calling her beautiful is patronising. It's not like she'd swap.
The lost moon brother is getting dug out by Rastamouse for having his hands in his pockets. He's got one hand in his pocket, and the other one is flicking the bomb vest switch ala Sgt. Brody in Homeland. He did a proper screwface after that.
Cant Bo Bruce do the go karting cos of her bad back? Try saying 'Bo Bruce bad back' when you've had a drink, it aint easy, kiddo. I just tried it and failed spectacularly.
Moon brother looks like he's come out in his pyjamas. Hold on, what's this sunflower bullshit? Van Gogh didn't sanction this. I'm laughing my arse off, is this the intention? I guessed Bo was going to be Mona Lisa. What is this fucking song? It's fucking rubbish. Bo is outsinging the lot of 'em. My boyfriend just said 'I can't hear a guitar so why can I see one?' Why indeed. Someone should have been drowned in formaldehyde during that.
Is that it? It didn't drag at all tonight, so I must have enjoyed it, despite my carping. Bo FTW! Come on, only you can ensure she gets enough Radian B to keep her upright into next week. I would vote but I watched it an hour late and I'm posting this late so this is all futile. FUTILE!
Let's get the outfits out of the way: Holly rocking a lovely curtain (bet that's not from Very). Jessie's come as a hateful Minnie Mouse. William's come as one of those square office toys with all the pins in that you used to put your palm into in the 80s.
Bowling is the Jessie J's 'secret little thing to do'. That and lesbianism. I notice they're in some private alley: why don't they go to the Trocadero like everyone else? UV times!
Jessie J knows nothing of professionalism. If your mic isn't working, just carry on singing like you normally do. God, she's so arrogant and annoying. I'm glad they've got the sound working now. Sounds much better. *panface*
It's a live show! Live show! Live show. Yeah, well done for not miming, give yourself a Werthers Original.
Max is up first. I don't remember him so that doesn't bode well. At least we don't have to look at Tyler's serial killer face this week. They're setting this Max up as the new Olly Murs, aren't they? Lol, he's doing doing a little rap and he seemed a bit out of breath. It was only about two sentences. I can rap the whole first verse of Without Me by Eminem without skipping a beat. I think his voice is OK but I don't like the direction they're pushing him in. I don't even know what this song is. He's a cute little thing but he's just boring.
I'm surprised Jessie J isn't saying 'on NATIONAL television'. She sounds like a Jeremy Kyle guest. I've seen less severe Croydon facelifts on that show. And more eloquent guests.
William: 'blinds or no blinds?' Is that a new TV programme? He talks complete hogwash, but at least it's fun. What is Tom Jones bringing to the party except endless anecdotes about dead people?
Cassius, it's over. Or is it? Who knows. Who's that on the piano? Is it Louis Theroux? Turning tables sounds like my friends' proposed invention of floating cocaine tables (not one I've seen in Dragon's Den, but maybe one day). This song should be called Turgid Turkeys instead. Make it stop. The best bit was when he went went 'woo' at the end, and that was only because it was stupid. Is Cassius a midget? Holly looks like Amazonian next to him. It looks like she's about to start breastfeeding him.
Tom Jones is being so insightful tonight. How much are they paying him for this blarney? Did Danny just ask Cassius if he was 'diddy'? I think that's apparent. Even Willy can't think of anything clever to say.
Bo! Select her. How can you sing 'Love the way you lie?' It's all a rap! I tried doing that on karaoke recently and it was hard, I was out of breath. I hope she's going to do the line about 'watch her leave out the window, guess that's why they call it window pane'. That's the best line ever. What's this other bit she's doing? It's rather nice. But where's the volcano meeting the tornado, hey? Where's the Nintendo game line? She looks cool. Must be nice to be described as 'marketable'. Oh, and she's got a bad back, too. Has he been rubbing in some Deep Heat for her? Even she looked embarrassed. She doesn't need the bad back vote, Danny, she's better than that.
'A whole bunch of times more better than Rhianna' say Will. That's almost English. 'Bo, woah'. Oh no, now Jessie has nicked my Bo selecta joke. Motherfuck. Come on Bo, do those Princess Diana eyes to camera. You gotta win this. You've got proper talent compared to the others. There's no Tommy Reilly here now. And definitely no... whoever the other ones were.
I want to like this Vince guy. But he bugs me a little. Maybe it's the make up. Maybe it's the fact he looks a bit like Brian Harvey. And my friend Phoxx. Oh God, he's doing Olly Murs lite, too. WE'VE ALREADY GOT OLLY MURS. That's one Olly Murs too many already. Got it?
LOL, he just did a Jessie J style 'huh!' He's learning from the best. Look at his vest. He looks a prat. Jessie: 'Vince has worked so hard on his look.' Really? Looks like he had about 2.50 in his pocket and just spent 30 seconds browsing H&M's sale rail.
OH MY GOD DID DANNY JUST SAY 'YOU COULD SING THE PHONE BOOK AND BE AMAZING'? I thought I'd left this bullshit behind with Simon Cowell. This is unacceptable. I wonder what would happen if you sung the phone book? You'd have to start with AAAAAardvark taxis, wouldn't you? Someone should try this on YouTube.
Alex: the lost Moon brother. One extra Chris Fountain. We must stop him now. He's talking about his 'target audience'. What a tosser. He sounds like an Apprentice contestant.
If only we could bottle Danny's enthusiasm. Then we could all enjoy this rubbish, plodding non-starter of a song. The braces. The hands in the pockets. The star presence. Even I could sing this load of shit. Take his 'target audience' into a field and shoot them, starting with the youngest.
Danny 'he's only 17 years old.' Is this excuses week? Has he stubbed his toe and all? Jessie is right: it was safe. And not in a good Jason Statham way, with a gun. But then would a big band version of Jet been better? Would it? He's only 17. Isn't Justin Beiber 17? And just look at his amazing tal- oh.
Alex wanted to 'give us a break from strong powerful singers'. If I want a break I'll go watch ITV.
Danny O Sing the Phonebook does remind me of Peter Andre in that his positivity is so transparently fake. You know he's going to go home and cry into his cornflakes.
Oh God, Becky's doing Seven Nation Army. White Stripes or Marcus Collins? Crimped hair! How very 1996. I've got a photo of me with crimped hair and blue eye shadow wearing a nightie. I considered that suitable attire for nightclubbing at 16. I think she's got a decent voice she just needs some better direction. She did a bit of a Harry Hill style ending there. Oh, I miss you, Harry.
What rude thing did Becky say in the heat of the moment? I didn't hear it. Jessie J is issuing cockney counselling. Is Tom's hearing aid working? Oh dear, it's all going to pot, isn't it? Get Reggie out from the back to sort it out, Rastamouse must have a bifta on the go to short shit out. Becky's having a crack up. I blame Holly for giving her a tell off.
David's got a sob story instead of an ailment. He's my second favourite after Bo Bruce so I hope he doesn't fuck it up this week. Is he stalking someone via TV? That's a bit creepy. Fucking hell, it's another dreary song. He does have a good voice, though. She WILL be loved, whether she likes it or not. *Restraining order* He can't hit that 'will' note, and they've got backing vocals to cover it. That Temper Trap song was way better. Will is right to criticise that song choice.
Jessie J is giving it 'nononononononononono'. Are they having an artificial fight? I think Will won that round by just singing Vanilla Ice as a response to Danny's stream of BS. I think I actually LIKE Will.i.am now. Why is this happening?!!
Fuck off baldy and fuck off Elton John. Song choice! Holly calling her beautiful is patronising. It's not like she'd swap.
The lost moon brother is getting dug out by Rastamouse for having his hands in his pockets. He's got one hand in his pocket, and the other one is flicking the bomb vest switch ala Sgt. Brody in Homeland. He did a proper screwface after that.
Cant Bo Bruce do the go karting cos of her bad back? Try saying 'Bo Bruce bad back' when you've had a drink, it aint easy, kiddo. I just tried it and failed spectacularly.
Moon brother looks like he's come out in his pyjamas. Hold on, what's this sunflower bullshit? Van Gogh didn't sanction this. I'm laughing my arse off, is this the intention? I guessed Bo was going to be Mona Lisa. What is this fucking song? It's fucking rubbish. Bo is outsinging the lot of 'em. My boyfriend just said 'I can't hear a guitar so why can I see one?' Why indeed. Someone should have been drowned in formaldehyde during that.
Is that it? It didn't drag at all tonight, so I must have enjoyed it, despite my carping. Bo FTW! Come on, only you can ensure she gets enough Radian B to keep her upright into next week. I would vote but I watched it an hour late and I'm posting this late so this is all futile. FUTILE!
Sunday, 3 January 2010
New Years Day: The Soaps
I very much enjoyed the soaps on New Years day, and thought they were much better than the Christmas Day. Of course I was most excited about the Syed/ Christian anti-fairytale coming on top, which it did, sort of. It's a bit rubbish that they continue to drag it out, but it's fucking Eastenders, what do you expect? Look at the Stacey/ Bradley carnival of sour faces that still rolls on unabated... it's pathetic.
But anyway, there were lots of briliant things about Eastenders. I liked the wedding, the colours, the horsey, the outfits, but mostly I liked Christian sticking it to Zainab. That bitch deserved what she got and it was great when he said 'he loved it!' Zainab is such a wholly unlikeable character, a hypocrite, a snob and homophobe to boot. I can't believe anyone actually likes the rotten old bint.
The second episode was obviously a disappointment, because we were waiting for Christian to sort the lot of them out, but he bottled it. And what's up with Jane? Why is she being such an arsehole, clucking on about 'the business'? She didn't care about it a couple of weeks ago when she fucked off. I expected Jane to be caring about it, but she's gone down the Roxy selfish bitch route. When is someone going to lend Christian some support? It aint going to be Lucy Beale is it?
The best scene in the 2nd part was when Zainab confronted Syed and he told her he loved Christian. I thought his acting was bloody brilliant. My heart broke for him and Christian, who must be the hottest gays in soap, ever. I'm glad he stuck it to her as well. I'm pissed off he married Amira though. She doesn't deserve that, even if she is an insipid horse face. She's got a good heart.
Will Zainab tell Masood (whom I think would take it better)? Will Christian still get off with Syed? Just wait another 12 months and we might find out.
Corrie was obviously nowhere near as good, but I did really like the storyline where Becky said she didn't want to have a baby. It's rare you see someone say that in a soap, and I thought her reasons were all very good! I get the feeling she's going to bend on it though, which is annoying. But I really felt for her. And fuck you Liz, and stop wearing that bloody necklace. Also, please get rid of Ashley and Claire, they are absolutely useless.
Cheers. Big Brother later! Wooooooooooooooooooooooo!
But anyway, there were lots of briliant things about Eastenders. I liked the wedding, the colours, the horsey, the outfits, but mostly I liked Christian sticking it to Zainab. That bitch deserved what she got and it was great when he said 'he loved it!' Zainab is such a wholly unlikeable character, a hypocrite, a snob and homophobe to boot. I can't believe anyone actually likes the rotten old bint.
The second episode was obviously a disappointment, because we were waiting for Christian to sort the lot of them out, but he bottled it. And what's up with Jane? Why is she being such an arsehole, clucking on about 'the business'? She didn't care about it a couple of weeks ago when she fucked off. I expected Jane to be caring about it, but she's gone down the Roxy selfish bitch route. When is someone going to lend Christian some support? It aint going to be Lucy Beale is it?
The best scene in the 2nd part was when Zainab confronted Syed and he told her he loved Christian. I thought his acting was bloody brilliant. My heart broke for him and Christian, who must be the hottest gays in soap, ever. I'm glad he stuck it to her as well. I'm pissed off he married Amira though. She doesn't deserve that, even if she is an insipid horse face. She's got a good heart.
Will Zainab tell Masood (whom I think would take it better)? Will Christian still get off with Syed? Just wait another 12 months and we might find out.
Corrie was obviously nowhere near as good, but I did really like the storyline where Becky said she didn't want to have a baby. It's rare you see someone say that in a soap, and I thought her reasons were all very good! I get the feeling she's going to bend on it though, which is annoying. But I really felt for her. And fuck you Liz, and stop wearing that bloody necklace. Also, please get rid of Ashley and Claire, they are absolutely useless.
Cheers. Big Brother later! Wooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Monday, 23 March 2009
Mondays: Soap on a Mope
How can Eastenders get more viewers than Corrie? Seriously, lately it has been beyond painful. It is an ordeal watching it. Mind you, this is a nation that (allegedly) finds Horne and Corden funny, so there's no accounting for taste.
Enders! I thought they dragged out the Max and Stacey frown-fest long enough but this Ronnie/twitchy Danielle/Archie thing is interminable. It's like self harm for the brain. I HATE ARCHIE! Argh! He's awful! The storyline just makes me angry. No one on earth could be that much of a cunt, except maybe George Lamb. Ahem. I know he's only a character but he's just so irritating and bile-inducing: AND his radio show is shit (sorry, that joke was so bad even Ian Hyland in the News of the World would have balked at it).
Bad day at work? Why not depress yourself further and stare at Billy's green walls. Why not listen to Stacey's mum shrieking and not dying, no matter how hard you pray she will? Why not get screamed at by Bianca?
And if the relentless doom and gloom doesn't tickle your fancy, why not go for a bit of bona-fide boredom? Ah, here's Peggy's election campaign. Here's Patrick/ Chelsea/ Chelsea's boyfriend with the enormous sixhead. Where the fuck is Phil Mitchell? Even him giving Shirley one would be something (god, I AM desperate for storylines). They've even made Roxy boring (will she ever visit I-Beefa again?), and Christian hasn't been seen for weeks. perhaps he's off having some sterotypical gay fun somewhere. I wish we could watch (not all of it, admittedly).
Want some comedy? Try Corrie then because contrary to the script-writers misguided belief, Ian Beale, the Masoods and Heather are NOT FUNNY. AT ALL! Masala Queen? Just fuck off.
How about totty? Er... there IS NONE. Why am I watching this again? I swear off it every few months, but I just can't escape the E20 matrix. Argh! I'm stuck in Groundhog day, just like Danielle.
Corrie, on the other hand, has had some exceptionally good one liners lately. The writing has been top class (although Becky and Steve's wedding was a bit painful, and Becky overacted badly, but the restaurant scene the other night was really good). There are also lots of good new characters (although Luke Strong is killing my fond memories of Queer as Folk!) and good humourous storylines. I like David Platt's mate with the funny voice especially. It was also a masterstroke keeping Tony in, who is looking hotter by the day (I know, it's not right, but it feels it on occasion).
Minor gripes: what is the POINT in Liam's friend, the Lad Rags dude? He seems endlessly dull, is Tony going to off him or something? Also, what is the point in Liz's friend in the pub? And as for Dev's uncle: Jesus! There's definitely a bit of chaff knocking around, make no mistake.
Hold on, kebab boy just said Tesco, instead of Freshco! Has the subliminal advertising begun already?
PS: Klever kitchens guy makes me depressed.
PPS: I like Peter's child Simon, he's mega cute and looks like he should be in an Enid Blyton book. But don't tell anyone I said that. People will talk!
Enders! I thought they dragged out the Max and Stacey frown-fest long enough but this Ronnie/twitchy Danielle/Archie thing is interminable. It's like self harm for the brain. I HATE ARCHIE! Argh! He's awful! The storyline just makes me angry. No one on earth could be that much of a cunt, except maybe George Lamb. Ahem. I know he's only a character but he's just so irritating and bile-inducing: AND his radio show is shit (sorry, that joke was so bad even Ian Hyland in the News of the World would have balked at it).
Bad day at work? Why not depress yourself further and stare at Billy's green walls. Why not listen to Stacey's mum shrieking and not dying, no matter how hard you pray she will? Why not get screamed at by Bianca?
And if the relentless doom and gloom doesn't tickle your fancy, why not go for a bit of bona-fide boredom? Ah, here's Peggy's election campaign. Here's Patrick/ Chelsea/ Chelsea's boyfriend with the enormous sixhead. Where the fuck is Phil Mitchell? Even him giving Shirley one would be something (god, I AM desperate for storylines). They've even made Roxy boring (will she ever visit I-Beefa again?), and Christian hasn't been seen for weeks. perhaps he's off having some sterotypical gay fun somewhere. I wish we could watch (not all of it, admittedly).
Want some comedy? Try Corrie then because contrary to the script-writers misguided belief, Ian Beale, the Masoods and Heather are NOT FUNNY. AT ALL! Masala Queen? Just fuck off.
How about totty? Er... there IS NONE. Why am I watching this again? I swear off it every few months, but I just can't escape the E20 matrix. Argh! I'm stuck in Groundhog day, just like Danielle.
Corrie, on the other hand, has had some exceptionally good one liners lately. The writing has been top class (although Becky and Steve's wedding was a bit painful, and Becky overacted badly, but the restaurant scene the other night was really good). There are also lots of good new characters (although Luke Strong is killing my fond memories of Queer as Folk!) and good humourous storylines. I like David Platt's mate with the funny voice especially. It was also a masterstroke keeping Tony in, who is looking hotter by the day (I know, it's not right, but it feels it on occasion).
Minor gripes: what is the POINT in Liam's friend, the Lad Rags dude? He seems endlessly dull, is Tony going to off him or something? Also, what is the point in Liz's friend in the pub? And as for Dev's uncle: Jesus! There's definitely a bit of chaff knocking around, make no mistake.
Hold on, kebab boy just said Tesco, instead of Freshco! Has the subliminal advertising begun already?
PS: Klever kitchens guy makes me depressed.
PPS: I like Peter's child Simon, he's mega cute and looks like he should be in an Enid Blyton book. But don't tell anyone I said that. People will talk!
Monday, 6 October 2008
Corrie/ Enders: Waste of Paint
It's not often Corrie quotes Bright Eyes but it's fun when it does- Becky to Jason: 'you're a waste of paint!' I LOVED Becky's decline tonight; and she was right, Jason is too thick for her and he deserves whiney little Sarah Platt. I loved her complaining she spent seven quid on a candle before throwing it at him as he left. She seemed to have had her highlights done at some point between the first and second episode, and she looked cool when she leapt over the bar to beat the shit out of Jason. I loved her totally going nuclear and stealing someone's purse and smashing a window and then Steve Macdonald accidentally humping her. Her self-destruction seemed oddly realistic and genuinely heartbreaking at the end.
Also, how ungrateful is that bookie guy? Leanne is buying the betting shop for him and he goes out on the pull? Cock. As for Lian and Carla: I must have missed the episode where he had a brain transplant.
Enders was nowhere NEAR as good; Archie is too simple a bully; and would Peggy stand for it? This is a woman famous for her feuds. What's up with that guy who fancies Christian? He's a bit creepy, I think he's just after dirt on Ronnie. Christian, you're too good for him! I cant stand that woman dating Phil either; she's pointless and annoying. The only good thing is the paedo storyline. Whitney is excellent.
Final scores: Corrie 1- Enders-0.
Also, how ungrateful is that bookie guy? Leanne is buying the betting shop for him and he goes out on the pull? Cock. As for Lian and Carla: I must have missed the episode where he had a brain transplant.
Enders was nowhere NEAR as good; Archie is too simple a bully; and would Peggy stand for it? This is a woman famous for her feuds. What's up with that guy who fancies Christian? He's a bit creepy, I think he's just after dirt on Ronnie. Christian, you're too good for him! I cant stand that woman dating Phil either; she's pointless and annoying. The only good thing is the paedo storyline. Whitney is excellent.
Final scores: Corrie 1- Enders-0.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)