Thursday, 17 January 2013

Celebrity Big Brother 2013: He's no professional Big Brother-er

Dictator task! Is it tasteful to knock over a gold statue like they did with Saddam? I say yes.
I don't mind this anarchy, it's alright. Oh Razor, put it away. It's really gross. Rylan has set Spontag the task of defacing the flag. Will make a change from kissing it.
Toadfish was right with what he said about Spontag in that the public want them to stay but not win , but why does he think he can talk about nominations? Schoolboy error.
I want a poster with me on saying 'do as I say.'
We need subtitles for Frankie's speech! 'Mangestic butterflies'. That was funny when they caught Frankie in a net (like a butterfly!) Behead him! Yay, Toadie and Razor are getting it, too. Spencer kicked Frankie's decapitated statue head, ha. LOL to Spontag's 'prick/loser/dork' flag. I feel a bit sorry for Frankie in a way. He's been set up a bit.
I'm not liking Spencer's green teacher fleece tonight- or is that part of the uniform? How does Spencer know exactly what all the odds are of contestants staying and going? He's like Hollywood's own Paddy Power.
Hold on, Gillian speaks! I can't hear what she's saying, though. Spencer's like a cross between John James and Isaac Stout (Noirin's boyfriend); egomaniac nightmare. I notice Heidi's got flip flops on in the shower; probably scared of veruccas. Spencer can't spell his own wife's name. Nice sentiment, though, better than wiping your bum on someone's pillow.
Ew to Spencer scratching his crotch. I think Lacey said last night, 'all Spencer do is lie in bed and eat crisps.' Sounds alright to me. Do they want to win, do they not want to win!? Do they want to stay or go? They ARE like John James! They said they wanted to leave a minute ago. I don't get it. I think I find Spencer and Heidi's fake affection more baffling than their non affection.
Razor: hand down pants. OMG his snoring is DISGUSTING. He's like a farmyard animal. I can't even cope with the rain on the window at night.
Lacey thinks the public might think Spontag are 'boring'. Spencer: 'she's like a throwaway.' Nice.
God, I hate onesies SO much. They should all be confiscated and burnt at the stake. One day they will be as reviled as the shell suit.
Why do Spontag think they're entitled to be liked when they're so odious to everyone? All they say is poisonous things! I want to stroke the furry walls of that igloo. Hold on, that doesn't sound right. I must admit, Spontag are getting on my nerves a bit. But they're still making me laugh.
They've got that nasty Hovis bread in the house! Where's the Warburtons? I think Rylan is genuinely worried about the eviction. I was glad when he got so much support, it really means the world to him.
Claire's hair is still looking white after all this time in the house. What shampoo is she using to keep her hair that colour? I want it! I'm going to tweet her after the show. Maybe I'll tweet her husband.
Rylan's face when Spontag was saved was funny. 'In no particular order' means 'in the most dramatic order possible.'
You're next out, Tricia. Spencer and Heidi don't have a 'strategy'. They are just gits. I love Rylan's emotion. I wonder if Nicole Scherzinger is watching this?
Rule-break! 'Don't waste it, put it elsewhere.' I like Toadie's t-shirt but not on him. Looks like Razor and Toadfish got what they wanted from that conversation: the girls up. Mission accomplished. Not much of a punishment. Oh Toadie, take responsibility for your actions.
'Shame shame shame, we know your name.' Morrissey has a song about that. Claire's on champagne watch. Beware!
Ha, Spencer calling Toadie a cheat and a rookie. 'They wanted them to leave minutes ago.' He IS the funniest in the house.
Ooh, the Toadfish backlash has begun. Spencer's drinking wine out of a mug. I hope it's not contaminated.
Spontag are PDAing! She's drunk. I wouldn't miss sex after two weeks. I always find it weird when people say that on Big Brother; control yourselves!
Razor can't 'remember' influencing the vote. He's always crawling to the public in the Diary Room.
Toadfish on gay parents: 'first of all being gay is wrong'. They could edit that badly, hahaha. 'Being gay is wrong. Being gay is wrong'. I want to edit that for my podcast! Imagine if you'd turned on then and just heard him say that. Oh Toadie, stop being so PC. Jeff from BBUS wouldn't like you. YOU KNOW!
Spontag are drunk! Telling Kathy she's a 'national treasure.' I think they mean 'fossil.'
Toadie, stop toadying, FFS! Heidi's getting frisky. I think I preferred her frigid. Now she's stroking her own boobs and laughing about Hula Hoops. Haha, she's making a right twat of herself. What flavour Hula Hoops is that, in a purple packet? I'm not familiar with that flavour!
Heidi doesn't want to 'be herself.' Who else is she going to be? She can't cope with someone being nice to her, it's against her gameplan. You could see the wires showing then.
What sort of sex talk is this from Spontag? 'Do you want me to roll onto you?' Eh? Is this secret code? 'Invitation... leg over... you can't move it... keep it there... it's innapropriate, it's stuck, you can't adjust... I'm already locked in deep. I want another one.' Another what? 'Good night my hero.' 'You should drink beers more often.' Goodness me. This is some freaky shit. You never see the night vision anymore, do you? Maybe the celebs have a clause against it. We're gonna do a catch up podcast now just for the hell of it! See you later.

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