Recap, recap, recap! So I found out Razor was the replacement for Jim Davidson, which is surprising when he's one of the most famous in there. Seriously, they must have spent about 25p on the housemates this year.
So I heard Paula's already out of the basement for 'health reasons'. Is it cos she needs her coconut? My boyfriend reckons she's got her stash in there. COKE-a-nut? Sniffy sniffy!
Why would everyone hate Lacey for being a page 3 model? I think they'd more likely hate her for having a stupid name. How can they do live nominations tonight when they've not even lived together? I hope they organise it a bit better than last time when we spent about 40 minutes waiting for Hev to nominate. Big Brother Australia knows how to do it, he rules with an iron fist.
Rylan to Claire: 'you changed my life.' Christ. How? Frankie seems alright so far.
Spencer trying to ingratiate himself with the other inmates was funny. Apparently The Hills is 'very posh.' I didn't even know Americans said the word 'posh'.
Heidi: 'I thought you all worked here.' The end of the sentence is because 'you're too ugly to be celebrities.'
Frankie why are you wearing a scarf indoors? You're not in the basement. Spencer is right; they are like a bunch of weirdos.
It's good that they can talk to each other through the garden. That's so weird that Spencer and Heidi didn't go up and say hello: weak gameplay! Sloppy. Cut your nose off to spite your face society! Haha, I liked their conversation and their fake English accents. How do they know about 'reem'?! It's kind of funny they can't be bothered to come up. I admire that stubbornness.
They've all researched each other! Aren't they meant to be in sequester before? Singer and jockey boy? How does he know all this?
Lacey's got an annoying voice! Sam is 'technically, totally single.' Lacey: 'That means you're not.' She's not that stupid, is she? That doesn't make sense.
Spencer and Heidi are really endearing themselves to the British public, aren't they? LOL, crumpets and tea. Spencer is a pisstaker extraordinare.
Spencer would have sacrificed himself and gone into the basement! Yeah, right! He's hilarious, but he's not for real, he's just a reality contestant by numbers. I like him, though! He's entertaining. He's a good villain.
I just wouldn't wash if I had to wash with a bucket of cold water. I'd happily not wash for a week.
The house looks nice, kind of chintzy. Frankie: 'eventually they're going to have a task where someone's got to sleep with someone.' It's not that sort of show, is it?
Are they seriously going to eat that food off the floor? Have they ever heard of the five second rule? That is disgusting.
Lucy Banghard has took her skirt/trousers off already. Isn't it cold in the igloo? That's not going to endear her to the general public.
Did I mention I put £50 on Rylan FTW last night? I'm a little bit worried now, because Spencer seems like a reality TV pro and he's got Rylan in his sights. Perhaps I was a little rash with my betting!
Razor finds 'Stacey and Spencer a bit strange'. That's a bit rich coming from him. Those beds look really nice in the main house.
Bogey talk in the basement. Eww. Heidi is sleeping with tin foil over her head.
I hate to hate on the page 3 girl but she's getting on my nerves already. Put some clothes on.
Uh oh, Rylan's coming over a bit Darth Vader in the Diary Room. Don't go evil, Rylan! I'm counting on your camp humour to win me the big bucks.
Paula's pretending to have a health problem to get out of the basement. I admire her chutzpah. Nice one! She's probably withdrawing off the coconut. You sly old dog. You've got to respect that level of bullshit.
Ok we're onto nominations now. How can they nominate when they've not even met all of them? 'Do not swear.' Not even a please!
Rylan, sacrifice yourself to the basement! It's the only way I'll win my £50. Lacey's got no clothes on again. We need Aaron in here to fix the vote, like when he did over Jay McKay (well, Faye, actually).
Those sofas look nice. I want to sit round there with Rylan. Frankie: 'I'm a man, I can do it.' Yeah cos a woman couldn't take those conditions of a dark TV studio.
Frankie: 'I am standing up.' At least that was funny. What is all this 'it's a man's job' bullshit? This isn't nominations. This is just writing names on an etch a sketch.
Rylan drew a horse, bless. He should have gone down, this is going to count against him! I'm worried now!
Frankie's used to going in crack dens to pick up his coke anyway. Ha, Spencer and Heidi still can't be bothered to go into the garden, they're like part of the Flowers in the Attic dynasty. They need sunlight! Where the hell are they? Are they not even saying hello to Frankie? Their gameplan is nutso!
Frankie digging Heidi and Spencer out for not coming upstairs! He's brave. I wouldn't mess with them. Send Spencer and Heidi upstairs to get rid of them. Toadfish is being a basement martyr, baby!
Heidi's not annoying at ALL, is she? Take her, Lacey and Spencer and drown them in the pool. Why are they all kissing Razor's booty? Just trying to get shot of him, I think.
Well this didn't go the way Big Brother hoped, did it?
Hold that thought! BRILLIANT! Frankie ignored all the toadying and sent Spencer and Heidi up. He just wanted rid of them, didn't he? That was marvelous. Razor's going to be fuming!
AWKWARD! 'Hi, I'm Heidi, nice to meet you.' Eventually.
Rylan's crawling to them! I don't blame him. This is good, this is going to make much better TV than sending Razor up there.
Heidi has got a really annoying voice, too. Be careful jumping on those cushions, Heidi, don't break your face. I'd be after a shower, I think, not the champers. Razor and Toadfish are the nicest people Spencer has ever met? He needs to get out more. Out of the basement! And into the ether. Let the games begin.