Wednesday 16 January 2013

Celebrity Big Brother 2013: Dick-tator

A bit sad tonight as watching the eviction on my own; it's not as much fun, no vodka and no podcast to do either - boo. Still, it's only Racy Lacey leaving, isn't it? I'm going to vote to save Spontag and Rylan. Ooh, I just found some biscuits. All is not lost. I want some Diet Pepsi and some cheese and onion crisps, though.
Lacey looks HOT. I just voted, sucker that I am. Not for her, though.
Recap, recap, recap. Zzzz. Ooh, Dictator task. We've seen people come unstuck on tasks like this before, namely, Dustin in BBUS, who was liked by everyone, was made house king, acted like a twat, and was promptly evicted. One of the best eviction faces ever. How did Frankie get nominated as dictator? Was he picked at random? Did they nominate him? Can Big Brother be bothered to tell us? This is a bit unfair on Frankie because he's already got little-man syndrome.
I like the dickmobile. Frankie's hat looks warm. I'm fucking freezing.
Heidi likes Spencer in his Nazi uniform! Surprise surprise. Toadie is the perfect choice for a snivelling little lapdog.Lacey, a page 3 girl, is actually getting some cheers. They are making them eat slop: the oldest Big Brother trick in the book.
Did Frankie choose his guards? I thought he would have chosen Rylan, not Toadjerk. I feel like I've not been paying attention, but half the time that's just because of the terrible editing.
Rylan is the leader of the revolution! Yes, destroy the statue. Aiiiissssssssshhh! Should Rylan be allowed around explosives? From the crowds' cheering, it looks like my £50 on Rylan is safe. Phew!
I wish we'd seen Rylan telling Spontag about the task. Kiss Frankie's riding crop. I like it when they have a jail on Big Brother. In Big Brother Australia they have a 'naughty corner' where they make them do ironing and stuff. It's fun.
I wouldn't massage someone's feet for a bazillion quid and if someone even laid one finger on my foot I'd kick their teeth out.
I'm desperately trying to think of a pun on TNT. How does Rylan know about 'viva la revolution'? He HAS read a book! I like the tasks where the task is not what you think it is.
What's with this Patsy Kensit Weight Watchers advert? Patsy Kensit has never been fat. NEVER.
Claire and Lacey have to bug Frankie's phone?! This is like some Breaking Bad/ Walt and Hank stuff.
Heidi was enjoying 'macho man', wasn't she? This task is good because it's integrating Spontag a bit.
I wonder if Frankie will get nominated for being a dictator? He's getting stitched up like a kipper on this phonecall. Heidi and Spencer getting to listen to MORE personal info! He's frightened of Spencer and Heidi! No wonder he went into hiding, a kitchen cupboard chameleon. What about Razor 'puffa' Ruddock? He's pretty scary. Surly, even!
Ugh, I hate shiny sheets. Spencer and Heidi said they liked Frankie at the beginning of this show. Flip flop!
Spencer: 'All dictatorships should be brought down immediately. We're from America. USA!' Where are they from again? I thought they were 9/11 truthers? Don't they think Obama's a dictator? Aren't THEY dictators?! STFU about America. You're on our soil now, and we crown incomprehensible CBB winners like Ulrika Jonnson, Denise Welch and Paddy Doherty. Don't ask me why, but we do. Luckily, we normally get it right in the civilian version.
Aw, Rylan got cheers! Lacey is like a lamb to the slaughter. 'Get Spiedi out'! LOL. Ha, they're safe. I thought they'd been evicted for a minute then. Keep up! Rylan's confidence will be back up now, hopefully not too much.
Lacey is doing Spencer-style face flapping. She's out! Aw, sad to see her go, she was a harmless little thing.
Heidi and Spencer kissed each other but not Lacey as far as I could tell. Charming! USA!
Lacey got cheers, cool. There was nothing to boo about her. She's even dressed up all posh, like she's going to dinner at Downton Abbey. I think she looks lovely. I feel sorry for her, I don't think her OR Sam deserved to go, even if Sam was a douche on BOTS and then said 'my generation aren't interested in the Falklands' on The Wright Stuff. I hope they get Rylan on The Wright Stuff. Him and Matthew Wright can have an orange-off.
The reasons people nominated Lacey were pretty pathetic. She shouldn't have to apologise for swearing and burping. Lacey spoke to her brother?! WTF. We never saw that.
LOL, Rylan and Razor colluding to nominate the girls. Booooooo, as Heidi would say. That's one of the things I miss about the live feed, catching them out running that sort of game. How come everyone is up because of them breaking the rules? That's not fair. It should just be Toadface and Razor up. So now we don't get nom noms?! I don't really get the point of that. Nominations are fun. I think it's Big Brother just trying to line their pockets. But at least it will clear out the deadwood. A double eviction could work.
Toadfish: 'we were just thinking aloud.' Don't think too hard, Toady. You might strain something. Caught out, just eat it. At least Spontag can claim the moral high ground for five minutes. USA! Etc.
PS: Why is BOTS on so late? It's like they actually don't WANT people to watch it. I stay up quite late, and I can't be bothered. Plus it makes the Couch Potatoes podcast way too late. Boooooooooooooooo! Etc. Oh well, I'll listen to it at work tomorrow as usual on my headphones and ignore everyone. That's my kind of internal comms. Good night!

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