Saturday 10 September 2011

Big Brother 2011 - You just haven't Aden it yet baby

Why am I being forced to listen to the Saturdays on an almost constant loop? Recap recap recap. This is going to be going on for weeks. But now we get Pammy's view on matters.
LOL to Pamela going 'oh my god' and pulling a face when Alex came in.
Housemates - dont worry too much about people watching you in the house- they probably aren't.
Mark to Pamela; I used to think about you a lot when I was younger.' Then he said he used to masturbate over her when she was standing right next to him. How absolutely vile. I've seen monkey's with better social skills. He's going to literally say every thing that comes into his head and it could make for absolute car crash viewing.
So the first move to divide and conquer is the VIP area. Pamela picked out the gorgeous girls and that little shit Tom. Let the bitching commence. Don't think much to Pamela's choices of party mates.
'Pamela is a bit disappointing... is she about 60?' How cruel. At least she's done something with her life. Even if latterly it involved Joe Swash and a panto in Wimbledon.
I like the way every time a man sits talking to Rebeckah she looks like she's chewing on a shit sandwich. 'I don't like men.' 'What, you a lesbian?' LOL. She's making friends for life right here.
Is the golden swimsuit like the golden power of veto? Heaven is the last person I want to win immunity right now, bugging.
Things not to say to people on the first night of knowing them: 'I do watersports.' He seemed really stuck up about the whole thing! I like her honestly. But he didn't. As soon as someone said 'that's out there' to some kinky thing like that, I'd just think 'boring in bed.' At least she gave it a go! Anyone sneering at that, I just think, what, you never done something for someone else ever? Stepped outside of your comfort zone? What a boring life. NB. I have never done watersports, but on the kink scale, I'd put just after foot fetishists.
Did that Daily Star advert really just say 'the daily paper you can trust?' WOW.
Tashie is clearly a bit mentalz. I like the incongruity of her and Geordie dude.
I can't work out what went on during that conversation with Anton and Aden. Is Aden going out with a 49 year old?
I like those light up chairs. I would pick the bed furthest from the door.
This North/ South divide is hilarious. It's like two thickos showing their willies off. Aden, I thought you were meant to be intelligent. 'If you don't understand what I'm saying'- well, it's not exactly like struggling through a Will Self book, is it? I can get the idea for the basic grunts coming from you. And then he went on to brag about 'how many birds he's banged'. Oh, you've got a lot to learn, kiddo. Thank god I wasn't on TV at 19.
OMG 'she can also be your girlfriend for the right price'. No wonder she hates men.
No, she's definitely not here for the experience. She here for the money, money, money. Again, at least she's honest. I get the feeling Anton still wants a bit of her, but he's going to make her pay for it now, because she's a sexual woman, and of course that should be stamped out and destroyed.
Mark: 'I cry after I have wank.' I wonder what he does after he has sex, although I suspect that's never happened.
You know what bless means, yeah? YES I CAN WORK IT OUT, it's not like cracking the fucking Davinci Code. This is the second time in an episode I'm being patronised by a retard.
'Give someone enough rope and they'll hang themselves' says Rebekah complaining about Maisy doing a handstand and 'attention seeking and cheapening herself'. That's Rebekah, the stripper at Spearmint Rhino. God, talk about all sisters together, hey? What a fucking hypocrite. if you're going to do that sort of work, you need to own it and be proud of it. Self-hating about it just leads to the external hate she's projecting. That whole Robin Hood BS is like some line she's reciting like a prayer. I would have thought her of all people would be standing up for the sisterhood. Or maybe she just hates everyone, including herself.
Aden is going to be TV gold. The level of idiocy pouring from his gob is almost unreal. Creepy, braggy, stupid, cliched... he's got it all under his hat. He looks and talks like he's about 14.
I think I might like Alex. I kind of feel sorry for her in there a bit. If she keeps her head down and her nose clean... could she win it? I've seen stranger things happen. I've seen that tree of smoke.

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