Friday 13 June 2014

Big Brother 2014: First blood

Hello! I'm a bit late tonight as I was out drinking and I'm a bit maudlin.That's going to make for a good blog/ pod.
LOL, Chris is the power housemate! I can't believe most people voted for him. But isn't it a secret this time? Fuck, if Pauline knew she'd be shitting it.
I like all the pastels in the bedroom. I like the colour scheme better than the housemates.
Pauline vs Jale and Chris sitting watching - interesting considering we now know he's got the power! Pauline: 'I'm not a discusser, I'm a statementer.' You're a cunt.
Pauline calling Jale passive aggressive was interesting. Jale is not passive aggressive at all. Why is Pauline pointing? Aggressive aggressive. 'I'll lock you down.' Prison talk. Lock Pauline down and throw away the key. Jale has the patience of a saint. Considering her VT, she's keeping extremely cool.
Danielle's mum looks amazing! Look at those eyebrows. That's clearly Danielle in a few year's time. That was a rather half-hearted chant of 'Get Danielle out.'
Jale got some cheers. Jale has played a good game this week. 'Get Pauline out.' LOL. Ooh, Tamara's mum got a big boo. She's like a hybrid of Gail Platt/ Debbie McGee.
Mark was so fake when he was talking to Winston it was unbelievable. He was probably thinking about his next back, sack and crack.
LOL, Christopher is finally daring to speak to Pauline. Might as well talk to the wall, she doesn't listen. Still, at least she's opened his yap to the actual person at last. Everything Pauline says about other people is actually about herself. I've not seen someone projecting so much in ages.
I'm not surprised Jale is crying in the face of that antagonistic old bag Pauline. Shit, even Mark is turning against Pauline! If that fucking prick has seen it, Pauline's game is really up.
Can we see something else instead of Pauline running her mouth? Look how depressed everyone looks around that table. She's sucking the fun right out of that house.
What's that PVC chamber Winston and Tamara are in? I've never seen that before. Is it the sweaty box? It looks too hot in there.
Did Winston's clothes shrink in the wash? Square plates at that dinner, I note, a touch a touch of class. This date is so awkward. Look at Winston's teeth? That man is not good looking. He looks completely gormless. She is gross as well. She looks 40, not 23. When Ash went in to tell the others they were kissing it was the most childish thing I've ever seen.
Ooh, Chris is being let loose in the CGI cabinet. LOL to Chris feeling 'deeply uncomfortable' about having the power. He should be grateful! He says he's not going to let us down. I hope he's right.
Pauline is doing some serious victim blaming here. I think Pauline is deranged. She's 100% guaranteed to go next week if Chris puts her up, and I'm sure he will.
Danielle: 'If it's my time to go, it's my time to go.' Big Brother cliches 101. Apparently Pauline is 'an inspiration'. For a murder spree.
How can Pauline ignore someone asking to have a word with her? What a bitch. Christopher has gone all red in the face. Jale has got Pauline spot on. LOL Christopher was going to say SORRY to her?! Is he a nut?
LOL the crowd are shouting 'get Pauline out.' and the house can hear it clear as day. Hilarity. I couldn't keep a straight face if I was in there and Pauline got called out.
LOVE Helen calling the eviction crowd LOSERS! She knows how to rally support, doesn't she? OMG what a bitch! It did make me ROFL though, unlike that task. And did Ash say 'on a nice summers day have they got nothing better to do than stand out there?' Who would vote for these people to win after that?
HAHAHAHA I can't believe Tamara went out on a vote to evict! My vote DID count! She looked so shocked too. She was a real victim of circumstance because she wasn't that awful, but she got on the wrong side of the divide. It was a power move by the great British public. I'm so glad we won't have to watch that showmance 'blossom'. Nice work for a bunch of losers, hey?
I find Tamara so uninteresting. I'm so glad she's gone. She didn't do anything bad, but she didn't do ANYTHING. There was nothing to say about her interview.
Ha, Chris is nominating in the toilet. And he nominated Pauline. Class. It's no more than she deserves. Chris is putting his glasses on so he can see Pauline's screwface better when the noms are announced.
Who went 'what?' when it was announced Pauline was up? Yeah, I mean, who could Pauline have upset? They're gonna think it's Jale.
Mark is a bit stupid calling the power housemate a 'nasty gobshite' when he could be the next nomination. I thought Chris did act that quite well, especially the wince as if he thought it might be him.
No shit it's a revenge ting, Pauline. And revenge is SWEET.

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