Friday 20 June 2014

Big Brother 2014: Statementer. Recidivist. Arsehole.

Welcome to the second eviction! Ash too lazy to lift his head up. Perhaps he's got rigor mortis. Christopher getting some cheers. Peculiar. Pauline facing some serious booage. I can't see anyone leaving over her this week.
I can't bear Marlon and it's so obvious he's going to float his way in the end, whilst every girl in there gets evicted.
Why has Ashleigh started hanging out with the witches? Bad game move.
Pauline is backtracking hard but unfortunately it's too late. It was a typical case of HOH-itis (see BBUS) when she got the power trip, and she fucked herself beyond repair. 
OMG the housemates are choosing who the power housemate should be. I vote Matthew. I've seen who the person they chose is on Twitter, but I'm hoping it's a lie. I don't see how it could be true. Why would Big Brother put one of the 'baddies' in charge - or let them be put in charge?!
Ooh, Matthew chose Kim to be the power housemate. Cool. As did Steven. Danielle chose Ashleigh (what's the fucking point)?
Kimberly chose Maaaaaark. I don't think Mark would be good with the power. He's too flaky. He's better off with the bon mots. Mark, stop with the psychic bullshit. Don't you remember what happened to Wolfy last year? Stuff your healing crystals.
Winston looked perturbed in the DR.  He chose Matt! Then Christopher chose Matt! Why is Matt not the power housemate already!
Ooh, Toya chose Chris. Interesting. He's just bloody been it! But he didn't nominate her. So they must be friendly.
I note no one is picking Pauline. Maaaaark picked Toya. Toya 'will be fair'? Er... Toya will be an interminable whinging cunt.
It's sickening to hear girls cheering for Ash after how he referred to women this week. Jale looks nice tonight - she's scrubbed up well. Christopher looks nice, too. Steven looks weird. Everyone getting cheers except Pauline, Marlon and Steven.
The two housemates with the fewest votes were Christopher and Ash. Ash probably got the fewest votes because everyone forgot his boring arse was there.
Marlon's friend says 'he has lots of respect for women.' Sure, if you like being called a slutbucket. He's not exactly a feminist, is he? Pauline's son was quite sweet.
More power housemate votes. Jale voted for Kim. Pauline voted for Toya. Can't Pauline's vote be made void if she leaves?
Winston's hair is looking quite impressive tonight; almost like a 50s style quiff. Did Winston really batter a shark? I bet he just fell over in a gutter.
I still don't get Ash's fascination with Helen. Talk about cuntstruck. LOL Chris chose Danielle. Haha, that was a wasted vote.
Matthew is too weak to lift Mark out of the plant pot. Those skinny wings can't lift a grown man. Mark: 'I'm going deeper.' Yep, he's going deep in the game, alright.
FFS, Toya is the power housemate. What the fuck. It's like when the 'bad' side gets HOH. Well, hopefully Big Brother won't give her any real power. Toya has been described as 'fun' and 'fair'. Are they seeing something we're not?! I feel like they're talking about a different person.
Ashleigh's hair looks nice. Is it real?
Oh God, porn chat with Jale and Danielle. Danielle: 'What is it? Is it just two people going at it?' Come on Danielle, EVERYONE has seen porn. This act is fooling no one. The way she ran off; honestly, she must think we were born yesterday.
Helen is now slut shaming HERSELF. Does Ash not know about Wayne Rooney? I thought everyone knew.
Ash: 'Why did you sleep with someone who was married who's a celebrity?' Good question. I'm surprised that Helen is admitting to Ash that she was on the game. That's quite a hard thing to admit, she almost seemed human then. I wonder what Ash really thinks about that? I wouldn't be surprised if we saw another chat with Marlon about 'slutbuckets' coming up.
Steven is so threatened by Chris! He's always talking about him.
Sweet, the crowd are chanting 'get Helen out' LOL. Good work, guys. Not really much point in saying 'I knew it' Pauline. It didn't take DI Dan to work that one out. She's still giving them orders about the freezer as she goes. Get to fuck, Pauline. What's she carrying?!
I quite liked Pauline's exit actually, she didn't seem to give a fuck about the boos and started dancing.
79.4% voted Pauline out, out of 6 people! Wow. Pauline is not backing down! Oh dear. Get the hint, Pauline. Show a bit of contrition, maybe?! 
Haha, rat in the kitchen. Of COURSE Pauline knew it was Chris. Pauline knows EVERYTHING.
Does the camera man really need to go that close on Pauline's face?! Bloody hell. I feel like the camera's going to go up her nose.
Emma is being FROSTY. Pauline is not having it! Pauline will not be cowed. Emma can't get a word in - she's lost control. Crowd are chanting 'Jale' and 'off'.
Pauline yapping about food, sharing and selfish people. Yawn. She only has three topics of conversation.
Pauline is getting wub wubs on her best bits. She don't deserve the wub wubs. I note Emma didn't say that Pauline was 'a wonderful housemate.'
Oh God, Toya's power. What horrendous thing is she gonna do now? She's got to pick someone to be in power with her. At least she's got some make-up on today. I like all of her lipsticks. Ooh, she chose Matthew! Cool! I heart Matthew. Even so, it puts a bit of a target on him, too.
Shit they have to nominate one person now. They chose Christopher! Poor Christopher. He can't catch a break. NB. Christopher voted for Matt to be the power housemate earlier, something I'm sure he's reconsidering.
So one of the two power housemates will also be up. They're making this up as they're going along, aren't they? Still, as long as Toya walks out the door, let them meddle.
Some live feed would be nice now? Call me crazy. Call me hardcore. I just want to see what happens next! 

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