Celebrity Big Brother 7: To posh to plush

Why is the last mile the hardest mile? (because you kicked out Stevie B- dur).
The tree's task for Vinnie was good. OMG! Vinnie defied the tree. And thus his chances of winning are gone. What a spoilsport! Don't argue with the tree. Don't give that tree attitude like Lady Sov when denied her purple hair dye.
Ah Vinnie is going to do it to protect the house. What a saint. Notice how Vinnie gets the task right before final night. Fiiiiiiix!
Vinnie dropped that cross-dressing thing into conversation about as subtly as Melinda Messenger puts blusher on. Vinnie, were you out with the lads, or in the bedroom? Or in the bedroom with the lads? Get your story straight, you gorm.
Anyone would think the tree asked Vinnie to line up the housemates and rape them with with a spatula the way he was carping over that task.
Vinnie! Acting! Give the man a Oscar. Alex is so stupid it's unreal, he contradicts himself from the start of the sentence to the end! Idiot-hole.
Vinnie, you can't speak American, you doofus. Get out of that elevator and off the sidewalk.
Who are Alex's 'work buddies'? The guy from human resources? Aw, he is sweet though.
I hope Vinnie's football team LOSE! And I hope yours does too! Football is RUBBISH!
Those costumes they gave them looked cheap as fuck. Don't they get that they're putting you in costumes BECAUSE it's eviction night?
Jonas was panting like a paedo under that pig suit. And goats don't have long curly hair! Get Attenborough in there, never mind Davina.
Davina-gate. Is it going to make any more sense than last night? No, because they are just fumbling in the dark as usual. What was the point?! It was a day-trip for Davina and that was about it. And no day-trip can beat David and Lisa's from regular BB! Their day out in London was the stuff of legend.
WTF is Stephanie doing? Too posh to plush? Get over yourself, lady muck. Punish her!
Cockadoodledo-her! Davina flirting with Alex was quite funny. 'I wanna bash it up' 'clothesline it'! WTF! Cruelty to chickens. This makes Colonel Sanders look kind. Stop acting the goat, Dane. Vinnie, a woman doesn't become an 'it' because they're in a costume.
Don't ignore the chicken in the room. OMG they are gang-raping her. This is fucked up.
Rip Davina's head off! Do the nation a favour.
'And she's drunk... and she walks like Quasimodo'. Jonas offering her a fag was funny. Fire hazard! Oink oink... tweet tweet. Jonas feels sorry for the lonesome chicken.
Davina don't fart, it's unladylike!
Alex getting the joke about three hours after everyone else was pure joy.
Jesus, if that was the best night of Davina's life her drug dealer must have been USELESS back in the day. Was kind of sad when she said 'she's gone' about Nicola.
Why is Dane dressed like a snooker player? Jonas check your back for a knife after that cuddle from Martha off Corrie.
It did make more sense tonight. But still not that much.
So tomorrow is final night- and I am going out! But I might take my laptop with me. However, if a friend came to my house and asked to watch Dancing on Ice or something, I'd tell them to fuck right off, so it might not quite pan out. Either way, it will be blogged. Bear with me!
Oh and vote ALEX or Dane. :-)

Big Brother 10: Break the news to them gently

I'm glad Federico isn't my doctor, his bedside manner needs some work. 'You've got a brain tumour!' After the gentleness of Craig and Dean, Federico's spilling of the Jacko-beans seemed pointlessly cruel. I used to like Federico (seems I'm in a minority) and his strange, frog-like face, and remember being annoyed when he left. But now he's just the human equivalent of an internet troll. Sad. Ooh, nice use of the word ragamuffin, though. I'm easily won round.
Lol, Siavash had tickets to go see MJ. Better hope his mummy sorts out his refund whilst he's in the Big (Bro) House. Bored of the MJ thing, and not that interested in their reactions to it, either. On the live feed it's got to the point where you can guess everything they are going to say, how they'll react to any given situation. These are not multi-faceted people, or even entertaining people. Still like the Fredster and Rodders, though.
Pie Jesu! Fuck a duck. Sophie sings worse than me. WTF has Michelle Bass done with her Geordie accent? I saw her on BBLB and it had gone, replaced by the kind of accent you get in a Richard Curtis film. 'Make us a bloody cup of tea, darling!'
Fuck she looks like a right ropey old dog. That dress looks straight outta Matalan. Bring back chicken Stu. I bet he cringes when he sees her now (god knows why he didn't then). Ah Lisa likes Michelle Bass's personality. Would that be the one where she psychotically stalked Stuart, then raped him under a table?
Was she singing 'Agyness Deyn?' WTF? Oh bugger off Bass, you dopey twit. Sophie's singing was AMAZING (for five seconds). So glad she got that task. She makes the Cheeky Girls look like Susan Boyle. It's all good, babes.
Yay, Craig 'I'm not gay' back in the house! Sadly no Maxwell (although he does lurk around the Finsbury Park area because I've seen him twice). Makosi can just crawl off and die. Just listening to her saying 'I was born in a battlefield' makes me pro-war. Didn't Russell Brand sleep with her? Lordy!
I miss Craig, he was ace. He'd definitely be in my BB allstars. Antony Hutton, not so much. Haha to his ripping it out of Sophie's extensions. They do look like dreadlocks. I've seen less knotty- looking barnets down Glasto come Sunday.
Siavash: 'fuck me back to front'. I'd rather not. I liked him standing up for Freddie to Makosi, he hasn't stood up for him much in the past.
Does Sophie even know what 'naive' means? I'm not sure I like the ex-housemates coming in and dropping these little hate-bombs, but in a way it's interesting. It's against the very nature of BB, but then the format has been left out in the rain for years now. Sad, really.
Haha at Craig bolting as Siavash went into a 'let the public decide!' speech. I liked it when he said 'good luck' in an utterly deadpan way. We need someone like that in the house, just totally sarky and above it all.
If ONLY there was another house! We should be so lucky. Haha, Marcus trying to get Sophie on board. Good luck. I couldn't give two fucks about the Noirin/Siavash/Marcus trilogy of doom. It's just the same thing again and again.
Michael Jackson, my arse! Marcus is upset cos he can't get laid. End of. (as Saskia would say- bring her back in! Or horse-face Grace! I could go on, but you get the general idea...)