Big Brother 8: Bye Bye Billi

Predictable that Billi went. Yet even when Billi was bitching in the highlights, it didn't really interest me. In his interview he came across as unpleasant and insecure. No one looked in the least bit bothered that he was going- not surprising as he'd got 8 votes.
I was shocked Jonathan didn't go, God knows why. What a drama queen. Ziggy was never going to go. I believed Jonathan though. 'Just another hour to think about it...' Just ship H from Steps in to give the man a bunk up, please.
I was disgusted with Liam's comment of 'I've slept with loads of girls but I want the girl I marry not to have slept with loads of boys'. What do people see in this plank? Not attractive or sexy in the slightest, he's blubbery with squinty eyes and a penchant for yellow and gold clothing. How can he be favourite to win? What does Nicky even see in him? He didn't even stand up for her when Gerry (unfairly) said she may become a bunny boiler. Dick. He should stop leading people on. I'd rather give 100 grand to Charley to spend on Russian teenager's ponytails. I hope Nicky savages him with a Medusa-style braid. Fine she is irritating and boring: so stop touching her all the time if you don't fancy her.
I do not believe for a minute Gerry has slept with 3000 men. But just imagine if it was one of the girls who'd said that. Just imagine it. Different rules apply for men, of course.
Brian is fast coming into his own, pondering on if Shakespeare wrote Babe: Pig in The City. 'He directed that film with Leonardo Dicaprio in it, the one where they talk like their pissed'. SURELY too funny a joke to to be that thick. I do think he's faking a lot of the time. Then I think of him pissing the bed and I'm not so sure.

Big Brother 8: We're psychopatic

Again I watched Big Brother half an hour ago and already the memory of it is fading from reach like smoke. Jonathan wants to leave. Jonathan makes the same speech fifteen hundred times. Ziggy want to leave because Charley called him a pervert, although we don't know why, because of the disjointed editing. Ziggy thinks his family will be upset. Why? ARE you a pervert? Do they THINK you are? For God's sake don't your family know you? Actually, they probably don't. Because we don't. Flouncing off because Jonathan praised Charley, then saying she's good for the house later in the day. For God's sake, it's no wonder Chanelle can't trust you.
Another crap edit and we have no idea why Charley and Billi are arguing. They get sent to the 'happy room' but are too thick to realise it's meant to annoy them. Carol moans. Laura is in bed. God save me. It's so boring.
I enjoyed the twin telepathy task, but wasn't convinced of it's authenticity. Still, the scissors paper stone thing was a bit mental. Telepathy is cool. Corned beef cake aint.
And so today Jonathan didn't leave. And will therefore be forever ridiculed. What a chump. He really does talk utter bollocks. Ooh the Ivy. I forgot to put my could-give-a-fuck hat on. Ooh here it is. OK, now I'm impressed. Fancy food? Expensive food! Paid for by your boss! Oh my god! How exciting!

Big Brother 8: Don't Piss on my Patch

See, I go along liking Ziggy and then he says things like this. Sigh.
The age talk continues. 'I'm older than you!' 'But I've lived five more years...' 'I'm twice your age..' FUCK OFF. Stop talking about it! It's stupid! Honestly, next it will be 'I'm 26 and three quarters!' Zip it, Zigsy.
Not much to say about BB tonight: there is something strangely unwritable about the characters at the moment. The fight was very funny, first Charley vs the young lovers, 'You're a mug!' then Charley vs Billi which was particularly good. 'Model? You're a model for the blind! You fucking div!' Brilliant. Shifty eyed Billi couldn't quite compete with the mega trap calling her 'a fucking bitch'. One thing's for sure, Charley doesn't need a man to defend her honour. Even Gerry admitted he was scared of her! Ha. Love it. I do like a good old barney. Liam the 100K man, meanwhile, dredged the pool. What a deserving trouper.
They totally deserved to live on slop after welching on the sleep task. Brian's diatribe in the diary room was very funny- I like laughing at the yokel. Him pushing the twins round in the garden- you're looking round for the babysitter, aren't you? It's frightening that these people can vote or breed. It's frightening that these people exist. But it's alright. They're in a little box, safe (for now).

Big Brother 8: Brianstorm

There is a much better atmosphere in the house now the new boys have arrived. Proving hair straighteners are not just for girls, they are for ridiculously vain men, is Billi. He must be modelling balaclavas with that conk and those teeth. Seems a man of few words, yet Chanelle seems enamoured, much to the chagrin of Ziggles. I do feel sorry for him, as the cracks widen on his craggy 26 year old *cough* face. The Posh n Becks of the house seem to be on the rocks already with a clingy Ziggy and a paranoid Chanelle seemingly talking to themselves half the time. I give it a week before they are rowing like fishwives. All the new men seem ready to jump in at any given moment and Chanelle's not helping matters, saying 'I really like Billi' three times in the space of five minutes, then prancing round in those skimpy 'I'm single' hotpants. She might as well write 'fuck off Ziggy' on her knickers- just in case.
I like Jonathan and I think he will provide some much needed balance to the house. I appreciated the fact he was trying to prise Carole from the mangling. Incidentally, Tracey's reaction to staying in was very telling, not so cool, after all. Clearly this means the earth to her.
Liam I'm not keen on so far, a flabby beefcake, who just seems too dull for me. I could be completely wrong but not interested at the mo. Did you see that yellow baseball cap?
Brian is the real card in the bunch though, a real comedy character (mostly unintentionally). I LOVE his courtship of the twins; a real meeting of (no) minds. His reeling off long words he knew ('passive' is not that long really) was very amusing. He's definitely a couple of pence short of the pound, but seems genuinely lovable.
They are all bedding in at the moment but give it a couple of days and we could see Ziggy heading for the exit. His ego is more fragile than Charleys. One lingering exchange over the hair straighteners between Billi and Chanelle and he could go Hulkwardly.