Oh how we have waited for this hallowed day. Even the presenter was taking the mick. How could you get married to someone you don't love, argue with, and who tells you what to wear and that you shouldn't wear so much make-up as you look like a clown, and have the presenter take the piss out of you too? Dear oh dear. Worse, no one is even watching this (except me).
So in the end the plush venue was... Jodie's parents house. What happened to the circus and the bondage? I feel cheated!
Jodie's dad said arguing is all part and parcel of married life. True, but not part and parcel of your courtship! Call me an old cynic.
I did feel a bit sorry for her that everyone was taking the piss out of her celebrity guests for being too z-list. It's a fucking wedding, not a movie premiere. Should she just invite celebrities for the sake of it? (Oh God, why am i standing up for her?)
The highlight of the show was probably Jodie's cleaners saying the husband was a good choice 'as he doesn't leave skid marks in the loo' and then finding her 12 inch (!) vibrator in her bed whilst they were changing it. Then picking it up. They need danger money.
Then the happy couple argued some more. Then the groom had her name tattooed on his arm. Then Jodie had his name tattooed on her arm. Because we all know that makes a love last forever, right?
Then Matt asked his mum, 'so how do you feel about Jodie becoming Mrs Peacock?' Silence.
Her actual wedding dress was nice although too big for her to actually walk straight in. It was bright red which I quite liked. She walked down the aisle to 'can you feel the love tonight'. Vomit. Ahh it was nice when they kissed though. I'm easily swayed!
Then... she gave him the deeds to her house. Er...
For an 'intelligent person' Jodie should have made sure she had some say about what the final show looked like as everything from the credits to the edit just sent her up. I wish her all the best but by God, is she going to need it.