The news is all you're good for

I haven't had a good rant for a while, so here it is. The Daily Mail. And more specifically, Allison Pearson. Whilst she is the least poisonous of the Plattell/Moir coven, she really does come across as being almost criminally thick as shit, which is just as offensive in it's own way.
Here's the link to her thoughts on the Prince Harry racism video. The only good thing about the online version is at least her photograph is a little more truthful; she's about 15 years younger and 3 stone lighter in the actual paper. It;s like going on a blind date and finding out the other person has gone through the menopause whilst you weren't looking.
Anyway, let's unpick it together.
'Sorry, did I fall asleep and miss the moment when Prince Harry became Alf Garnett?' SORRRWWWWWEEEEE! What a shit start to a column. She's meant to be a professional, she sounds like a 12 year old member of the BNP doing her first ever blog.
'Last time I looked, the young officer was giving out awards at the Children of Courage ceremony with a tact, humour and gentleness that would have made his late mother proud.' What, with a camera in his face? What a saint. I'm sure his mother, who died alongside her Egyptian boyfriend would be thrilled to bits to discover what a liberal, intelligent young man he's turned out to be.
'Now, suddenly, Harry is a wicked racist - make that a thick, ginger-haired Royal racist - who must 'learn a painful lesson' and go on TV to make a public apology for his crime. Have we all gone barking mad?' Yes, SUDDENLY he's a racist. Like SUDDENLY YOU'D be a racist if you went up to your colleague Baz Bambigoyne and called him a n*****. That's how it works. You say something racist; THAT MAKES YOU A RACIST. Have we all gone barking mad? No, just you, love.
'It would seem so, judging by the buckets of vitriol poured over Harry for using the words 'Paki' and 'raghead' in a video made in 2006. While filming fellow cadets, Harry zoomed in on Captain Ahmed Raza Khan saying: 'Ah, our little Paki friend... Ahmed.'
Out of context, his words may shock. But in context, Harry was simply indulging in equal-opportunities Army banter - that's equally offensive to everyone, be they Taff, Paddy, Jock or simply some poor sod saddled with a fat girlfriend.' Yes, lets all be offensive to everyone! You've got a fat girlfriend? URGH!
'Yes, for people of my generation and older, the word Paki is utterly toxic. It stirs up memories of an ugly and contemptible period in race relations, of skinheads and terrified families with dog mess pushed through the letterbox.
Whether we like it or not, Harry's age group are far less likely to find such jibes offensive. They are also far less likely to be prejudiced. Their sense of humour is edgier. Race is no longer significant to the vast majority of young Britons. These days, it's 'chavs' who have become the hated sub-group.' Not only is this utter bullshit, it's DANGEROUS bullshit. It's YOUR generation who says 'paki' NOT ours. How DARE you? How dare you say young people fling that word around so casually? That's an outright LIE. I wouldn't say that in a million years; the fact Harry did it ON CAMERA shows not just racism, but utter stupidity. He also used the words 'raghead' (but 'only to describe the Taliban'- as if we can pick and choose what groups to be racist about dependent on their behaviour). I WILL NOT let you SAY THESE THINGS. It is not 'edgy' to be racist. It's appalling. God, the hoo-ha that was made about Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross you'd think they'd gang-raped Baby P, but Harry is allowed to call people 'pakis', 'ragheads' and 'queers' (although the queer comment has been conveniently dropped by the Mail because they care less about gay rights than fucking LIGHTBULBS) and bless him, he's just trying to fit in, just having a gas. NO. IT'S WRONG. I'd like to see this dominating the front pages for weeks like Sachs-gate. But it won't.
She continues; 'If this country were not so self-hating, perhaps we could take a minute to congratulate ourselves on having produced youngsters who are far more colour blind than any previous generation. Harry Wales is among them.' Harry Wales? Is that his name now? Is that a typo? Fucking hell, my blog is more well turned out that this dogshit. Yes, Allison. Prince Harry is so colourblind, he points out people's differences in offensive and unnaceptable language. How proud I am of this country. I must take a second to wonder how Allison would write about some council estate 'yobbos', some 'hoodie chavs', calling some innocent person a 'paki' or a 'raghead'. Oh, aren't they all so inclusive! Look at the comradere! She would beam with joy at this spectacle, obviously. You stupid fucking idiot.
This is my favourite bit; 'He doesn't have a bigoted bone in his body,' says Commando Ben McBean, who lost an arm and a leg fighting the Taliban and shared a flight home with Harry. Ben also happens to be black. Oh, well if a black person who lost an arm and a leg said it, I take it ALL BACK!!!
It goes on and on, but anyway, you get the general idea; she's a thick bitch (and I don't use that word lightly to describe other women) and Harry is an idiotic waste of oxygen, three years ago or ten minutes ago, I don't really give two shits.
I'll leave you with Allison's reason for defending Harry so resolutely:
'Personally, I always had grave doubts about the pampered ginger princeling who swigged cocktails that cost half a nurse's monthly wage. I changed my mind when I saw him at that Children of Courage ceremony.
Harry got down on his knees to greet some profoundly disabled kids so they wouldn't be daunted and so he could make them laugh. There was only one other royal capable of stooping to conquer like that.' Awww. He stooped down to make some disabled kids laugh. So. Fucking. What.
Allison Pearson; you sicken me. Well done, you actually made my blood boil. And as for Peter McKay who declared earlier in the week 'everyone uses this sort of language behind closed doors in their own home.' I don't. You can be a sick, bigoted fuckhead but don't drag ME into it.
Scum, one and all. This country is self-hating because there's very little to be proud of. That's about it.

Big Brother 8: 'It was a misunderstanding'

So there it was. One word. One little word and bang. I was dreading hearing it, actually. It was a hiding-behind-a-cushion moment. But Charley was right. Words like that don't 'slip out'. Words like that are either in your vocabulary or they're not. A part of your life, or not.
In a way to me it seemed less bad than the transcript. But my boyfriend thought it was worse than he expected. It wasn't really joking. It was to put her down a little bit. I don't think she meant to be cruel. But I don't think she realised the power of the word.
The fact is, Emily has constantly considered herself above everyone in the house. She is intimidatingly beautiful, well-spoken and up until now, smart. Her own arrogance was her downfall.
If you're on the fence as to if Emily should have gone, take a look at the shock on Charley and Nicky's face straight after it was said. They were stunned and hurt. There was something really human in Charley's wounded face that she couldn't hide with words. Emily looked like she didn't give a shit, almost bullying them to shut up and forget it. I don't buy the 'everyone says it round my way' thing. It must have been heavily mentioned in the application process, too. Emily was extremely foolish, if not intentionally hateful.
How weird was it when Charley and Emily rounded on Shabnam? Charley whispered the gossip in Shab's ear, then acted like she hadn't. That was super strange. Charley was clearly scared of Emily and taking it out on Shabs. The way they rounded on her (the weakest person) was plain frightening. It's interesting how both Charley and Shilpa before her tried to cover up for their antagonist.
The bedroom scene where Charley denied that the comment had been racist was very intruging. It took ages for Ziggy to cotton on. (His crying didn't move me either, he's just as bad as the girls, then blames them for making him bitchy) Charley could go far from this whole situation if she plays things well. I'm not sure if she will, though, but I've certainly seen a more vulnerable and likable side to her (for now).
Nicky, miserable as she is, is coming out of things very well. She seems extremely level headed and sensible and fair. She should go a long way.
And so a sleepy Emily was dispatched. I enjoyed seeing the shock on her face when she realised that she couldn't wiggle out of it by going 'It's not fair!' or 'You've edited it wrong'. She did say sorry though, which was to her credit, but I should hope so, too. I feel sorry for her a bit. She is not on the same scale as Jade, or Jo, or Danielle. There was no vitriol in her. Just ignorance.
Emily will be missed by me; her face when something disgusts her, her red lipstick, even her skinny jeans, dammit. I did respect the bitch in her and she's more interesting than at least five other housemates in there. I think she genuinely did like Charley, she just thought she was better than her. Ultimately, she wasn't. Not a nice girl, not a lovely person with a good heart. Good luck avoiding the poison arrows, Emily. You'll need it.

Celebrity Big Brother 2007: See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya

Well, what do you know? Davina handled that interview... wait for it... well! Wonders will never cease! She actually gave Jade a hard time! Hurrah!She mentioned the bullying as well as the racism and said 'you only apologised after Big Brother told you to'. Haha!
All the making up stuff on the highlights was clearly engineered and not worth mentioning. We're not THAT stupid, Big Bro.
Personally I feel cheated there was no baying mob, but I guess it could have got out of control. Jade just talked rubbish to try and wiggle out of it, but she did look quite devastated. I'm sure she was only worried for her own skin though. I sincerely hope her career goes down the pan but I'm sure she'll make a few more squid out of it yet. I think she's ignorant rather than truly racist, and lets not forget her hench-women. I hope they get an equal grilling when they leave. I will never forgive them for the laughter when Jade was ripping a strip of Shilpa. Supreme cowardice.
So will Jack the Plank come out of his shell now she's gone? Don't count on it. Let's hope he tries to cop off with Danielle or something. Anything!
Can we get back to normal Big Brother stuff now?
PS. We are watching BBBM and my boyfriend just said 'I think Carole Malone is quite attractive. She has nice eyes.'
:-0

Celebrity Big Brother 2007: Good Vs Evil

This has become less a blog about a TV show and more a political commentary. Which I really can't be arsed with as I have a head cold. But anyway. I watched the statement by the C4 grubby guy today saying 'let the public decide between Jade and Shilpa.' So they're taking cash from us rather than doing what they should have done a week ago? Carphone Warehouse have stopped sponsoring Big Brother. The Perfume Shop has stopped selling Jade's perfume.
The majority of this is down to the producers. If they'd showed clips of the racism to Shilpa, it would have stopped. If they'd chucked the perpertrators out three days ago, it would have stopped. If Cleo, Dirk, Jermaine or H/Ian had stood up and just said 'stop': it would have stopped.
Instead Big Brother has hinted on the sly that trouble may be afoot for the three bitches so they are furiously back-tracking (I wrote back-packing first- not sure why). This cheats us as viewers also: I want to see Jade's face when she comes out to a public lynching. I want to see her go squealing down the street being chased by yokels with pitch-forks and flaming torches.
Jade's 'poppadom' comment is CLEARLY RACIST. If you don't believe it is, go to work tomorrow, find the most senior Asian in the business, and call him/her Mr/Ms Poppadom. It's called gross misconduct. It's vile. It shouldn't be allowed. C4 are saying it's OK.
Earlier this evening I saw a blatantly staged bit of live feed where Jade apologised to Shilpa (after Big Brother told her to). Wow, that's me fooled! Fish my Jade perfume out the bin! Sign me up for a subscription of OK! All is forgiven! For fucks sake! We're not RETARDS!
Or are we? I still can't believe how many Jade-apologists there are out there. It is truly terrifying.
One things for sure, if Jade survives the vote tomorrow, I will stop watching. A vote for Jade is a vote for the BNP. Don't mug yourself, Britain.

Celebrity Big Brother 2007: Your Mother Would Be Proud

Well, well. When Big Brother makes people riot in the streets thousands of miles away, you know something big is going down. Someone posted on digital spy today 'Jade starts World War Three'. It could happen yet.
WHY won't Big Brother kick Jade out? What DOES she have to do? Stick Shilpa's head in the oven? Knock out Jermaine Jackson? Say PAKI? Just fucking say it, you disgusting bitch so we can be rid of you.
JUST KICK HER THE FUCK OUT! Big Brother could have stamped on this days ago. Fair enough give her enough rope to hang herself, but she's got enough rope to rock climb to India (or some other ethnic region of her choice).
Tonights episode literally made me shake with anger. My boyfriend who is less sensitive about these things, merely labelled it 'depressing'. Laughs are most certainly not-aplenty in the house.
On top of this misery/heart-attack fest I watched about thirty minutes of this:
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=4936469193113672645 tonight, none of which was on the highlights. Truly disturbing viewing. Jade is extremely disturbed. No amount of OK covers can gloss over this extent of damage. She is rotten to the core.
I genuinely cannot think of words harsh enough to describe my hatred for this woman. She is the most horrible, ugly, cretinous, thick, bitter, unpleasant, RACIST, bullying CUNT on the face of this earth. If I saw her in the street, I'd spit on her.
Danielle and Jo are no better. Laughing at a scene which made me feel physically sick will hopefully be their epitaph. What a sick pair. Jack is scum. Cleo is the most pathetic, unsupportive sack-of-shit on earth. Her frozen face offering not one word of encouragement in the face of good vs evil. Shame on her.
Calling in Danielle about her 'Shilpa should go home' comment was too little too late. And the patronising 'have you learnt your lesson?' PLEASE!
Is Big Brother scared of Jade? Everyone else is. Jermaine is. Dirk is. Probably the Tweedy Plank is. This woman is a MOTHER. God HELP US! Come, come nuclear BOMB. Turn your radiators up. Let's melt the fucking ice caps. We're DOOMED!
More than anything, I felt ashamed tonight. Ashamed that Shilpa thinks Jade is ANY reflection on Britain. Britain has a thriving music scene, some great telly, and a few good writers. We have a lot to be proud of. British people are funny, cynical, intelligent. London is the most multi-cultural, open-minded city I know of. I feel proud of that.
Why can't Channel 4 make a stand and kick the four of them out? It would appease so many people. But it's all about the money, isn't it? Never mind the reputation of an entire country, or the sanity of a 31 year old woman.
It's not a 'cultural' thing. It's plain wrong verses right. For fuck's sake. WAKE UP. I'm disgusted by the whole thing. Disgusted, and addicted.