Jim Davidson: Least I'm not boring (but I am a cunt and so are my fans)

Hello there! I've missed you and all the scuttlebutt. Let's watch Big Brother Canada together when it's on in March. It's got a moose! Well, it did last year.
Anyway, back to our Jim, or #jimtowin, as the common people call him. Even the title of this show is annoying, jauntily missing out the word 'at'. It reminds me of Kim Marsh's stolen autobiography (well, found on our balcony in Ibiza) that started every other paragraph with 'Thing is, right...'
Personally, I'd rather be boring than a self-confessed wife beater, racist and homophobe, but hey, [at] least I'm not those things.
I can't even look at Jim Davidson, he makes me feel physically sick, which makes watching this show rather difficult. Lionel is claiming he discovered Jim on New Faces again. Lionel also claimed that Jim was a 'good looking guy.' Negative!
His old stand up comedy looks AWFUL. Shut up, Ian Hyland. He's another sexist prick. The way he used to talk about women in his NOTW column was vile.
Jim's sitcom also looks crap so no wonder he wants to gloss over it. Dear God, the Big Break years. I remember this vividly as a child and thinking how awful it was. It was like the anti-Blind Date.
Garry (his parents' spelling error, not mine) Bushell - there's an unwanted blast from the past.
Jim's 'joke' about a jaguar biting his wife's head off says it all, really.
Bobby Davro never knew Jim was a cokehead. But he laughed uproariously about 18 year old women taking coke. Lovely.
Why is Garry Bushell standing up for Jim Davidson beating up his wife? Gross. Cos Lou Reed did it doesn't make it any better. I don't like him, either. 'Hip', my arse. 'Hipsters' don't get a pass for wifebeating; but you get more of a pass if you show an ounce of remorse; something Davidson is incapable of.
I DO remember being a kid and thinking racism was wrong, I ALWAYS thought racism and sexism was wrong, even when my dad and brothers were watching Roy Chubby Brown. I've NEVER been racist, not when I was a kid, a teen, any time. I've always known right from wrong. It reminds me of this 'oh it was acceptable then' attitude about groping women. No it WASN'T. Men just GOT AWAY WITH IT.
Jim's jokes about 'pakis' and 'rug-munchers' are just vile. I DON'T believe this was ever acceptable. I don't see how anyone can ever defend it. It wasn't 'lefties' that destroyed Jim Davidson's career, it was Jim Davidson.
The fact the only black person they've got sticking up for themselves against Jim Davidson's racism is Richard Blackwood, who most people don't like, or don't think is funny, I think is very telling for C5's agenda. But Richard actually made some very good points. Just forget about Brass Eye for a minute and listen to him.
Linda Lusardi is an idiot, saying he can't be a misogynist because he's has so many wives. So men with seven wives aren't misogynists. Tell that to David Koresh.
Jim comparing himself to Frankie Boyle is hardly endearing, he's a cruel cunt, too.
OMG this bit about him not wanting to make fun of disabled people takes the biscuit. This is the true him coming out now. He didn't want disabled people on the front row because he didn't want to make fun of them, or if he did he'd get into trouble? Oh my God. Is he really saying this?
Dear God, this Brian Dowling bit! 'I didn't fall out with him before he was A gay, it was because he was a cunt.' Then his grin to the camera. You voted for that! (Sorry, you didn't, because you're a normal person, but PEOPLE voted for that!) People actually BELIEVED HE HAD CHANGED even though he ADMITTED HE HADN'T. Seriously, how much clearer does he have to spell it out for you?
'A gay!' 'A gay!' Dehumanising piece of shit. Then he has a go at Brian for 'playing the homophobic card'. Why would Brian think Jim Davidson was homophobic when he IS HOMOPHOBIC. Brian didn't like you BECAUSE you were homophobic and you didn't like him BECAUSE he is gay. You imbecile.
Poor Jim, getting 'branded homophobic' after all that. Who would brand someone calling someone a shirtlifter homophobic?
Oh my God, I just got so angry my vision went funny. That can't be right. People on Twitter are doing my head in, defending this nonsense. I honestly can't bear it.
'A lot of shirtlifters have the same face' makes me feel physically sick. I don't know how people can even watch it. It makes me cry every time I see it.
Jim: 'It's a common word used to describe gay people.' He is saying this in an interview NOW. 'Is it any worse than poof?' He is saying this in an interview NOW. 2014. NOW. On your TV screen. NOW. He is saying these words. So don't you DARE come on my fucking Twitter and try and defend this piece of shit. You're no better than him! I am incensed, I am apoplectic.
What is this 'Gay means Good As You' bullshit? What a rotten man. Absolutely disgusting, inside and out. 
 I sincerely hope there are some #jimtowin people at home now, wishing like hell they'd never voted for him. I would love it if just one person just said, 'I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have voted for this man.'
'Oh but Ollie, it doesn't matter if you go out with a boy or a girl.' I hope Ollie is watching this now and seeing just how far the wool was pulled over his eyes. PLEASE! Someone, anyone, condemn this horrible man.
Garry: 'Brian weren't the sort of gay guy Jim would really get on with.' What does that mean? Brian is a perfectly nice man. The truth is Jim hates ALL gay people, he just hides it well now, and people are s dumb, they're fooled. 'Brianphobic.' Please. Jim has 'since learnt shirtlifter is offensive.' Where was he the previous ten years?
Jim: 'I didn't say it to upset him but I didn't like him using it against me. To my mind, he was to blame for the argument, not me.' Doesn't sound that sorry, does he?
I don't even care about this Yewtree thing. Isn't the rest of it damning enough, even if he is innocent of this?
Ian Hyland is right that Jim going into Big Brother a year later was good for him, because he had the battle with Linda, he had no Brian Dowling to face, and he would have been lost between Speidi and Rylan.
The fact that Bobby Davro is even having to say 'well done' to Jim for 'behaving himself' in the Big Brother house is damning. Most people don't have to 'behave themselves' ie. behave with common decency. They just are that way.
Good on Nina Mishkov  who I generally can't stand for saying he did a brilliant piece of acting because he really did.
The way he's twisting this Frank Carson dressing room thing is sick. He knew what he was doing and he knew he wanted to hurt her. He even admits as much.
I see Jim is talking the piss out of his housemates, who all loved him, in his stand up now. Nice. What a nice man. Ah, referring to women as 'birds'. NOW. In 2014. Is that OK? As long as that's OK with you, just checking. I'm obviously just 'bitter' and 'man hating'. What a winner. I thought we could never get lower than Denise Welch but this is snake-belly low. This is the bottom of Jeffrey Dahmer's barrel low. He's making fun of DAPPY who said Jim was like a DAD to him. This man is TWISTED.
This has been less of a blog and more of an explosion on Twitter. I just blocked three people and at least two people blocked me. Someone called 'buddha11180' I wasn't even following said they were 'bored of my pathetic man hating rants so fuck off from my timeline'. Not very zen like. Someone else called me 'a bitter aggressive cunt'.
You know what? When you're a feminist it's very easy for men (and self-hating women) to throw words like 'bitter' and 'man-hating' at you, when actually you're pro-equality. That's all a feminist is, someone who wants equal rights. If you're too thick to get that, fuck off my timeline, fuck off my blog, and go watch Nick Griffin's cookery show, or read Richard Littlejohn's column (mind how you go). If you don't want people to be equal - men, women, different races, different sexualities - and that makes me 'bitter' and a 'man hater' that's YOU with the wrong end of the stick, NOT me.
So keep clinging to it. But times are a-changing. And Jim Davidson winning DID set us back, make no mistake about it, but it's just the fucking mob, it's the James Arthur fans, the One Directioners, the sheep, the fusty old straight men, the blinkered old scrotes who can't see the wood for the trees. So just let them rot. They'll never get it, no matter how loud we shout, so why waste our breath?
My best friend texted me and said, 'why are you watching that Jim Davidson drivel?' I guess this is why. To write this.

The news is all you're good for

I haven't had a good rant for a while, so here it is. The Daily Mail. And more specifically, Allison Pearson. Whilst she is the least poisonous of the Plattell/Moir coven, she really does come across as being almost criminally thick as shit, which is just as offensive in it's own way.
Here's the link to her thoughts on the Prince Harry racism video. The only good thing about the online version is at least her photograph is a little more truthful; she's about 15 years younger and 3 stone lighter in the actual paper. It;s like going on a blind date and finding out the other person has gone through the menopause whilst you weren't looking.
Anyway, let's unpick it together.
'Sorry, did I fall asleep and miss the moment when Prince Harry became Alf Garnett?' SORRRWWWWWEEEEE! What a shit start to a column. She's meant to be a professional, she sounds like a 12 year old member of the BNP doing her first ever blog.
'Last time I looked, the young officer was giving out awards at the Children of Courage ceremony with a tact, humour and gentleness that would have made his late mother proud.' What, with a camera in his face? What a saint. I'm sure his mother, who died alongside her Egyptian boyfriend would be thrilled to bits to discover what a liberal, intelligent young man he's turned out to be.
'Now, suddenly, Harry is a wicked racist - make that a thick, ginger-haired Royal racist - who must 'learn a painful lesson' and go on TV to make a public apology for his crime. Have we all gone barking mad?' Yes, SUDDENLY he's a racist. Like SUDDENLY YOU'D be a racist if you went up to your colleague Baz Bambigoyne and called him a n*****. That's how it works. You say something racist; THAT MAKES YOU A RACIST. Have we all gone barking mad? No, just you, love.
'It would seem so, judging by the buckets of vitriol poured over Harry for using the words 'Paki' and 'raghead' in a video made in 2006. While filming fellow cadets, Harry zoomed in on Captain Ahmed Raza Khan saying: 'Ah, our little Paki friend... Ahmed.'
Out of context, his words may shock. But in context, Harry was simply indulging in equal-opportunities Army banter - that's equally offensive to everyone, be they Taff, Paddy, Jock or simply some poor sod saddled with a fat girlfriend.' Yes, lets all be offensive to everyone! You've got a fat girlfriend? URGH!
'Yes, for people of my generation and older, the word Paki is utterly toxic. It stirs up memories of an ugly and contemptible period in race relations, of skinheads and terrified families with dog mess pushed through the letterbox.
Whether we like it or not, Harry's age group are far less likely to find such jibes offensive. They are also far less likely to be prejudiced. Their sense of humour is edgier. Race is no longer significant to the vast majority of young Britons. These days, it's 'chavs' who have become the hated sub-group.' Not only is this utter bullshit, it's DANGEROUS bullshit. It's YOUR generation who says 'paki' NOT ours. How DARE you? How dare you say young people fling that word around so casually? That's an outright LIE. I wouldn't say that in a million years; the fact Harry did it ON CAMERA shows not just racism, but utter stupidity. He also used the words 'raghead' (but 'only to describe the Taliban'- as if we can pick and choose what groups to be racist about dependent on their behaviour). I WILL NOT let you SAY THESE THINGS. It is not 'edgy' to be racist. It's appalling. God, the hoo-ha that was made about Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross you'd think they'd gang-raped Baby P, but Harry is allowed to call people 'pakis', 'ragheads' and 'queers' (although the queer comment has been conveniently dropped by the Mail because they care less about gay rights than fucking LIGHTBULBS) and bless him, he's just trying to fit in, just having a gas. NO. IT'S WRONG. I'd like to see this dominating the front pages for weeks like Sachs-gate. But it won't.
She continues; 'If this country were not so self-hating, perhaps we could take a minute to congratulate ourselves on having produced youngsters who are far more colour blind than any previous generation. Harry Wales is among them.' Harry Wales? Is that his name now? Is that a typo? Fucking hell, my blog is more well turned out that this dogshit. Yes, Allison. Prince Harry is so colourblind, he points out people's differences in offensive and unnaceptable language. How proud I am of this country. I must take a second to wonder how Allison would write about some council estate 'yobbos', some 'hoodie chavs', calling some innocent person a 'paki' or a 'raghead'. Oh, aren't they all so inclusive! Look at the comradere! She would beam with joy at this spectacle, obviously. You stupid fucking idiot.
This is my favourite bit; 'He doesn't have a bigoted bone in his body,' says Commando Ben McBean, who lost an arm and a leg fighting the Taliban and shared a flight home with Harry. Ben also happens to be black. Oh, well if a black person who lost an arm and a leg said it, I take it ALL BACK!!!
It goes on and on, but anyway, you get the general idea; she's a thick bitch (and I don't use that word lightly to describe other women) and Harry is an idiotic waste of oxygen, three years ago or ten minutes ago, I don't really give two shits.
I'll leave you with Allison's reason for defending Harry so resolutely:
'Personally, I always had grave doubts about the pampered ginger princeling who swigged cocktails that cost half a nurse's monthly wage. I changed my mind when I saw him at that Children of Courage ceremony.
Harry got down on his knees to greet some profoundly disabled kids so they wouldn't be daunted and so he could make them laugh. There was only one other royal capable of stooping to conquer like that.' Awww. He stooped down to make some disabled kids laugh. So. Fucking. What.
Allison Pearson; you sicken me. Well done, you actually made my blood boil. And as for Peter McKay who declared earlier in the week 'everyone uses this sort of language behind closed doors in their own home.' I don't. You can be a sick, bigoted fuckhead but don't drag ME into it.
Scum, one and all. This country is self-hating because there's very little to be proud of. That's about it.

Celebrity Big Brother 2007: Bones

I really pray that BB has got something BIG up his sleeve to punish the three witches. As Big Brother has finally admitted some responsibility for the borderline racism in the house, it needs to sort things out fast. Jermaine has put his finger on it: now if only he'd step up and make his feelings known to the chavalanche.
Tonight the bullying continued. They don't lift a finger then moan when their dinner isn't served on the hour. No idea why Shilpa chucked bones down the loo (she does border on the eccentric at times) but Jack's suggestion she picked them out with her teeth was plain nasty. Danielle's look of death was truly terrifying, bringing back memories of girls who were good at PE at school and now have three babies- haha. Mind you, this girl has to shag an old man for money, so I should take pity really. Her worrying about getting her tits out on the assault course was a bit like Russell Brand worrying that his hair is a little large whilst presenting Big Mouth. Your tits are your bread and butter, darling! Just make sure you keep your fucking mouth shut when you get out of the house, you spiteful little harridan.
Jo: 'everything she does annoys me'. Is that why you have have that Pat-Butcher-alike-ex-con-chewing-a-wasp look on your face from morning to night? She must smell like an ashtray as well.
All in all: they could drop a nuclear bomb on the house at the moment and the atmosphere would probably improve.