Big Brother 8: You don't know what starving is

Like you do, you fat fucking old hag! ARGHHHHHHHHH! I just shouted at the telly so loud my neighbours probably called the police. I haven't been this angry since that hideous, rubber faced toad and those thick slappers abused Shilpa Shetty.
Why are we still watching this? Well I know Red's not. I'm the only person in my house still watching it. It's not fun is it? I look forward to BB every year and every year the producers fuck it up. This week we could have got rid of Carole. But no. We have to put up with another epic row about food and they'll still save her cos they are dumb as shit. It is so uncomfortable to watch it's unbelievable. It actually makes me feel sick. The way she spoke to Brian was disgusting. She is vile. None of them stand up for each other when she goes off though. They all just let each other get bullied.
Carole thinks she is above the other housemates, above Big Brother. What bad timing about the biscuits thing though. Can you imagine if it was someone else who'd hidden them though? She is just beyond belief. 'Supervising and advising?' Oh just FUCK OFF! I can't take it. I just can't take it. 'Big Brother hopes the biscuits were worth it.' Then she says they were. Thick twat. Not even sorry. I hate her more than I ever hated Charley. 'It's alreet,' says Liam. DICK! I am furious no one will take her to task! GET A FUCKING SPINE YOU STUPID FUCKERS!
'It's alright Carole, treat us like babies, tell us off, make us miserable, emotionally blackmail us, make us starve, it's alright Carole...' No it's NOT ALRIGHT! ARGRRHRHRHRHRHRRHHRRGRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Ziggy should have taken his anger out on the old witch, not Big Brother. Prick. Brian apologising to her just made me hate him. At least the twins don't like her. 'Stop crying every time.' Thank God for Gerry. He finally dared stand up to her. Damn all the others to hell for not backing him up, the pathetic, fence sitting little weasels. 'You moan 24 hours a day.' Correct. Carole was trying to set Gerry up for a fall. Please God don't let them fall for it. The only bit I enjoyed was Gerry pretending to starve in the diary room and Liam and Brian singing in the rain.
PS. Gerry is looking so cute with his 'Something about Mary' hair lately. I want to cuddle him.

Big Brother 8: A Break From Myself

So Charley did her usual thing of attacking the world because she was hurt. Far from not being 'bovvered' about the crowds chants, she was heartbroken by it. So she started on Gerry, who was wearing a rather fetching pair of rubber boots. Saying he liked 15 -year-old boys was beyond the pale and her saying 'I didn't know it was illegal' thing didn't really wash. What DOES she have to do to get rubber-booted out of there? If I was Gerry I would have been furious. If it was Ziggy she'd said it to, he'd be going bananas. But because it was Gerry, no one really gave a shit. Carole has proved herself a complete coward, telling Gerry to stop fighting because she's too scared to tell Charley. I think Gerry was completely let down, by Big Brother and his housemates alike.
Obviously feeling a little attention-starved, Ziggy chose this time to throw his toys out of the pram and say he wanted to leave. His manipulating of Chanelle's emotions is unforgivable. Big Brother should pack his suitcase and tell him to hop it.
Carole joining Chanelle and Ziggy in the shower was just horrible. There is something a little bit desperate about that. Not cool.
What else? Liam spoke a few words of wisdom. Did not believe Charley's repenting speech for one second. She'll be off again before you know it. Please can we get rid of her this week? Pretty please?

Big Brother 8: Naked Nominations

What was that conversation Ziggy had with Nicky about? It was really weird. Were we meant to think, 'Ziggy! I'm impressed by his honesty!' Er...
The frown lines on Nicky's face are getting drastic. Nothing will shift them. Every time she has a go at Gerry it's like a dagger in my heart. What image does she think she portrays? There is nothing to like about her. Except her fringe and red lipstick. And she only brings those bad boys out on Fridays.
What else? Liam's thighs are disgusting. I can't stand flabby men! I like my men breakable (and I WILL break them). However, Charley saying people on the outside had been dissing him was unforgivable. What a bitch.
Tracey nominating Ziggy and Gerry- yawn! You're a cunt scarecrow- deal with it.
Ziggy also made himself look like a prick trying to curry favour with Charley in the bathroom. What a twonk. If he's not careful, she will twist things to her advantage. More so than normal.
So thanks to BB selective punishments Charley escaped again. Sigh. Still, I'd rather she stayed than Nicky. At least she plays the game, and doesn't just try and cause it's death via grating voice.
Something tells me it's not exactly going to be a close run eviction race this week. Big Brother, fetch Nicky's broomstick and get her the fuck out. BYEEEY!

Big Brother 8: Kiss n Tell

A very enjoyable BB tonight, I thought. I am still getting to grips with the new boys in the house, but that is fun in itself. Jonathan seems to be trouble: I felt very protective of the twins when he described them as 'deliciously shallow'. Yes Jonathan, and you've got a phenomenal beer-belly, you patronising cunt. I'm sure even they can tell 'shallow' is an insult, whatever way you dress it up. I believe the twins are genuine, and I couldn't stand them at first. You couldn't keep up that act 24/7 and they seemed genuinely baffled by him. Just because he's jaded doesn't mean everyone is. We should rejoice at naivety, I think. Bragging about how loaded he was just showed him up, too.
I believe Nicky that he is making her feel uncomfortable; he did seem to be mentioning her rather a lot, and calling her a 'kindred spirit' in the diary room was a bit much. Seany probably thinks he's a kindred spirit with Wacko, but the moonwalking molester would probably just call him a stalker. Careful there, Jonathan. Still, it's all good telly. Having said all that, Nicky is still a whiny bint, but she looked good in red lipstick.
Brian! Top marks for not trying! Still liking his bumbling stoopidness. Although I caught him having a semi-coherent conversation on the live feed today so they could just be editing him to look the fool- hahaha! Those devilish editors. Ok, not really.
I haven't warmed to Billi, and didn't like the fact he was compiling a hitlist of the girls to bed. He's one of those blokes who's convinced himself he's good-looking just because he's stood in front of the mirror and chanted it repeatedly. Billi, I have to break it to you. It's not worked.
Contrary to what the dim majority seem to think, I hate Liam! I hate his scrunched up face, and my boyfriend said he looks like Jimmy Nail. He also sounds like Jimmy Nail (Liam, not my boyfriend). And he was dissing the twins too! Leave them alone. Twinist.
Charley's showing off in front of him was plain hide-behind-the-sofa cringeworthy. Honestly, someone, put a sock in her. How do they cope with it? I'd cry. 'You've got an attitude problem!' she bellowed at Laura. Charley, my friend, you make Laura-the-grave-robber seem as cheery as Ant & Dec on happy pills.
So, onto the gay snogging. I LOVED it! It's suprising really, because I always find ugly men snogging in public a bit of a turn off (clearly its different if they are good-looking! I'm deliciously shallow, don't ya know). But I felt genuinely touched by it! The arms around the necks! Seany's delightful purple cardigan! Then they did it again! Will they? Won't they? I don't know, but it's a damn sight more interesting than the disintegrating Chanelle and Ziggy sideshow. I feel my views are becoming out of kilter with popular opinion. Hurrah!