Saturday, 10 June 2017

Big Brother UK 2017: Whine-gate

Evening all. A warning of marital confrontations! Who's that a warning for exactly? Kids from broken homes?
Ooh the girls going 'if Sukhi goes, Imran will come out of his shell.' They will prise him out by the sound of it. Yes, I'm calling her Sukhi now cos they are and it's shorter.
Sukhi is in a bad mood EVERY DAY. I mean, I can relate.
Raph to Chanelle: 'I think you have a rocking body.' What about those boobs?! Chanelle is having a wee in the hot tub as the loo is 'too far.' Haha, the hot tub is now out of bounds. Alex Sibley must be turning in his grave.
Keiran is talking again *glazes over*.
The others are laughing at Arthur cos he only has money on an Oyster card, not in a bank account. Well, that's more than some people have got. How much is on his Oyster?
Is it just sex between Keiran and Rebecca? Um, let me think for two seconds. Keiran, you wouldn't even be in the house if it wasn't for Rebecca so maybe treat her with a bit more respect (even though she's a twat)?
It's a good sign when the eviction starts in the second quarter. Must be loads of rows coming up, ha.
Shout out for Arthur's jacket, the most 'dad' item of clothing I've seen in the house since Spencer Pratt's teacher fleece collection.
OMG Tom going 'alright, fuck off' to Mandy. Very rude. I don't like Mandy, but you just voted her out, shut your trap, she doesn't owe you anything.
Tom 'I'm the better person cos I went to go and give her a hug.' Then told her to fuck off.
Raph is actressing in the kitchen.
Arthur needs to piss and Big Brother won't 'shut the cunt door.' He's very red in the face. He's even taken his jacket off.
At least Lotan is trying to calm Arthur down. That's the nicest thing I've ever seen him do.
Arthur to Kayleigh: 'You've been bullying me.' Joe is outside with his head in his hands.
Arthur is calling Kayleigh 'jealous girls' because he has money and they don't.
Arthur: 'I've literally given my life to women and you're not a woman.' Haha. How has be dedicated his life to women! I need more details. Kayleigh: 'You're a contradicting little cunt.' Then calling him a weirdo and a freak. Niiiiiiiiice. She is TRASH.
Kayleigh: 'He's a sociopath.' Define sociopath.
Joe is trying to make it all about him. 'I'm a father figure.' What's he crying about! Keep your hair on. Then he said 'much love'! Terry Tibbs!
Arthur was 'negging' Sukhi when he had the flat earth files blown open. I don't think he knows what negging is.
'Highly personal marital confrontations' coming up.
What's up with Arthur! He's like a posh Bear. He's Bear gone to Eton. That would make a good reality show actually.
Sukhi hid some wine. ALWAYS a boiling point in the BB house.
Tom nearly dropped a bottle of wine on Chanelle's head. Not sure it would have done much damage, but...
They're all tense so why not ship some more wine in! Nice one, Big Brother. Bottoms up!
Sukhi doesn't like Imran mediating about the wine. DO NOT tell her to calm down. She's one of life's overreactors. Like me, apparently.
I like Imran trying to cover for Sukhi being insane by going 'this is a domestic between me and my wife.
Sukhi is wearing make up in one of the indent things! Hypocrite, ha.
Arthur is citing the 'invisibility cloak.' Has he been playing Snatch? Imran has only got Arthur to hang out with now. 'Do you like Harry Potter?' Haha. Comedy.
If Sukhi hits Imran, will she get kicked out? Let's face it, it wouldn't be the other way round.
'Don't come for me' drinking game. Oh shit, you're dead.
If someone told me how to talk to my own husband in there, I would spin out. That's their relationship, mind your own business. If he wants to put up with that: let him.
Sukhi crying under the covers and moaning about Imran's 'new friends'. God, she is really unreasonable. I hope she watches this back. I wish I could find a nice guy who would let me talk to him like that, haha. No, really though, I think Imran might be in an abusive relationship?
Arthur watching it like it's a TV show. I thought Raph was going to get up and go but he didn't.
OMG Sukhi going 'he's just the same on the outside.' That's harsh. Then Arthur comforting her! After FLAT EARTH gate. That's gotta hurt.
I like the kind of al fresco dining area so it looks like a greasy spoon.
Imagine how nervous you'd feel if you were in that house with a couple kicking off like that! I'd be terrified. I come from an experience of domestic violence, I don't want to be around that crap.
I'm not sure what this argument about food is about. It seems boring compared to the rest of it.
Rebecca to Arthur: 'The food was happy in the cupboards.' Because it wasn't being eaten.
I can't believe I thought Kayleigh was attractive. She's disgusting. 
Arthur is sat with his head in his hands. I think I feel a bit like that after this episode. Everyone is going, 'best episode ever'. No humour and all shouting and a marriage breaking down? Not for me! I need a Nurofen.

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