Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Big Brother UK 2017: Fuck 'em all

Ooh, interesting! Raph is taking the rap for pranks that him AND Chanelle did. Joe: 'I keep telling you about this guy.' About Raph. You can keep telling us all the way out the door, you grumpy sod.
Rebecca complaining in the DR about Joe hating on Raph. At least she likes Raph (or hates Joe more).
Joe telling Raph he's 'slippery'. It was a prank! Get over yourself. Joe seems either VERY depressed or angry in there. 
Lotan is boiling every egg in the house in revenge. Charlotte is taking six eggs for herself. What is she, the Easter bunny?
Chanelle: 'People don't take the time to get to know you, Raph.' Chanelle is still carrying on with the egg smashing. I love her, now. I love her and Raph, that's it.
Chanelle: 'Tom and Lotan take everything so serious.' Aint that the truth. Chanelle is doing some good acting about the eggs. 'I wanted an omlette.' I think she could be the new Karen from BBCAN.
Lotan calling Chanelle 'sweetheart.' He's such a patronising TWAT. My mild dislike of him has rocketed into unbridled hatred.
Blind Date task. Yet another show dating Big Brother is ripping off (yes, I know it's on the same channel). The new housemates are Savannah, Sam and... I've forgotten the other one. Isabelle.
Lotan: 'The first thing people notice about me is my curly hair.' No, it's that you're a knob.
The first thing people notice about contestant number one is that she looks like Morph. Second one is Jay McCray. The Irish one looks the best bet and is the most 'diverse' (lol).
Rebecca is stressed that one of them knows Kieran. Is it Morph?
Ellie is jealous of the Irish girl. Ellie is jealous of... (insert name here - hey Demetres) is getting old.
All the new housemates think they'll clash with Hannah and Deborah. Great, more people who hate the sisters. Just what we need.
Morph isn't going to get into the house saying she fancies Kieran. Savannah fancies Lotan or Kieran. Grim.
Ellie can't believe that Sam fancies her. I can't either, tbh.
This dancing behind a screen thing is probably the most tragic thing I've ever seen on Big Brother, and that's saying something.
Joe is grumping that the outside people have 'info' on them. What's he worried about coming out?! It's not like they're sending in Louis Theroux, it's just a couple of blondes and a meat shield.
Rebecca is worried her storyline is going to go off. It's like when they replace a character on a soap with a new, more attractive actor.
It's bad enough looking like Morph, but the eyebrows aren't helping. The guy actually seems OK. He seems harmless so far.
The old housemates are so bitter. Lotan thinks the lad 'is full of shit.' Um. Chanelle doesn't want someone to come in and 'be a gobby little fuck.' That's her job.
Lotan is right that Morph will wind people (ie. Rebecca) up. Tom and Lotan do 'anything each other says.' Get a room.
Lotan intimidated by Sam's height. I love it. I hope he goes in. What the fuck, they chose the two girls? What a fix letting Lotan and Keiran and Chanelle choose, of course they're going to choose the two girls. Every single decision is a bad one. All we're going to get now is the guys peacocking round the new girls and Ellie and Rebecca being jealous.
I feel like Hitler is producing BB this year, and the BB eugenics task is nearly complete.
Look at Tom acting like the big man with the two new women. Gross! God, please don't let them join the 'clique'.
Ellie likes to be 'the girl with the good personality.' Will you tell her, or shall I?
Savannah just slipped on an egg. Trip hazard! I thought she was Rebecca from behind. Interchangable blondes for the win! Diversity!
Rebecca has come to the diary room and said 'I don't want to be a bitch.' Cut to her being a bitch. Rebecca going 'I don't know what Kieran was thinking' about Morph. Fuck off. Kieran slept with Morph in Ibiza last year. He 'hates tans.' Why fuck Morph then?
Joe is worried about the tan from Morph going in the hot tub. Joe isn't exactly pale and interesting himself.
Joe saying to her: 'Isn't there different shades?' Mind your own business! Don't tell people what colour they can be.
OMG at Chanelle quizzing Isabelle (Morph) about Kieran. 'Did you suck him?' Morph: 'Probably.' Chanelle: 'Did he suck you?' No. Suck what?! Of course he didn't. Men are such selfish twats in bed sometimes.
Lotan trying to chat up Savannah... desperate.
Isabelle is annoyed Kieran said what happened between them. Er... she just told everyone you sucked him off.
Lotan, Kieran and Tom are having a group shower. Lock the cubicle and keep the water running.
Isabelle is sitting with Chanelle and the sisters. That's a good sign.
Lotan at the girl's singing: 'Shut the fuck up, you boring bitches.' Speak for yourself.
Raph is explaining what's going down in the DR and he's happy with the new blood.
Raph going to Rebecca: 'I know who I want to go and it's not you, Hannah or Chanelle.' Lol.
Even the sight of Lotan now sickens me. I HATE HIM. He's my worst one by a mile.
Ellie: 'Fuck 'em all, cunts.' Aw, sad she didn't get the guy who fancies her in there.
Lotan going on about Savannah's size, shut up. I'm sure she's aware she's small.
Savannah seems like she has a brain in her head at least. Oh the lads: 'They're not boyfriend material, but they're comic relief.'
Isabelle thinks Lotan's got a 'good body but an absolute dickhead who makes her cringe inside.' I don't even think he has a good body.
OK, maybe these new girls have got something more to them that first appearances suggest. If they hate Lotan, they can stay. If Raph can rally them up, they've got the numbers to take out the clique and I'll be here for it.
Don't forget it's the eviction tomorrow, not Friday. Save Hannah and Chanelle, please? If Hannah goes over Joe, it would be too depressing. Let's not evict any more minorities, please. The producers are already trying to ethnically cleanse the house, we don't have to help them along.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Back again..my God sister you are such a vile individual the way you express yourself is very concerning..your one fucked up bitching..bet you live on your own with no boyfriend and eat processed foods..look forward to ripping apart your next bucket of sick..

lightupvirginmary said...

I know who you are.

Sandra Statner said...

Thanks again! Always love reading your take on BBUK.

lightupvirginmary said...

Thanks Sandra x

bella33774 said...

I think we all know who they are. Two minutes of fame are over now and back to their wrong-side-of-the-tracks obscurity their forgettable "loved one" goes..