Friday, 6 January 2012

Celebrity Big Brother 2012: You look at things very three dimensionally

Fuck man, someone ticked the box that says 'blah' under my blog. Better up my game! Shall I just go 'I like it! I like it! I like it!' instead? OK I promise, I'll be nice tonight. Hahahaha!
Natalie probably takes her shoes off at home in case someone gets mad and beats her with it. No sharp objects in the Cassidy household. Flip flops only. Bless her though, I still think she did ace. Is she 'the chosen one' now?
I didn't even realise MM was in Free Willy, I thought she was (well, BB was) taking the piss.
What a massive honour to be on BB, Andrew Stone. Yes, that's why Posh and Angelina are sitting in there right now chatting to Cruise and JLo. The celebs are breaking down the proverbial door.
I've decided I don't think I like this rugby dude. He seems like a boring git. I'm basing that on not very much, admittedly, but also my boyfriend read an interview with him and said he came across like an arse.
I read today Nicola Mccuntrag is 28! Is she buggery. I love the twins sitting there stony-faced, like two grumpy plastic book-ends.
I hope the Noirin/Kardashian hybrid has got some character. Please don't let all the pretty girls be vacuous. It's bad for the woman brand.
Natasha: 'ex footballer's wife'. Shouldn't that be 'footballers ex-wife'? I like the way she dealt with Nicola, like she couldn't give two fucks. She might be alright, who knows? Who's going to hold their mealy-mouths shut until we find out?
When Natalie said 'plus size' to the porno twins they looked baffled, like they'd never heard of such a thing. Plus sized? Is that above a size 2? We don't have that on our planet.
Romeo schmoozing Denise Welch. Nice. They're actually doing this 're-cap' bit quite well, they're not labouring it too badly. At least they're giving us little crumbs we hadn't seen before. Have you noticed they're not doing the patronising names on the screen? How will I know who's who? Might have to pay attention! No, mammy!
And these words might come back to haunt me, but I have a feeling I'm going to like Frankie. There: I said it!
I bet Andrew is regretting applying that blusher in Adam Ant style when he's trying to chat up Georgia. 'I'm 39. I'm an old man.' No reaction.
Romeo: I love it when boys call people 'boss' it's really cute. He seems like a decent guy so far.
Andrew is 39, has he mentioned it? He's also 'very straight.' Do straight people need to qualify their straightness by saying 'very' straight? They very don't.
'You look at things three dimensionally.' What the fuck does that mean? Do you need special glasses for that? Andrew truly is the prince of poppycock.
Apparently Gareth's friends with Ryan Giggs. I like Natasha already, she just seems down to earth, which I suppose she would, as she's notorious, not famous.
This task got even worse for poor Natalie! Poor thing.
Loving MM's condom talk. That DR chair is alright, innit. I never got a proper look at it last night.
That's the first time I've seen the twins look animated when they said they might not get their suitcase. I don't think Natalie deserved to fail. She couldn't have done more. Is Romeo too good to be true? Can anyone be that charming and affable? I thought So Solid were all bwad bwoys?
Love Denise flirting with Romeo. Can't wait to see him in Nicola's dressing gown. Wow, MM's pyjamas are amazing. Where would you buy those buggers?
The bedroom looks good. I like the furry throws. I like it, I like it! Etc.
Frankie first in the hot tub! I should think so, my son. Banged any birds yet?
Romeo: 'my swag's gonna be a mess.' Love him commenting on the pyjamas. I like his turn of phrase.
Andrew's 15-year marriage clap for MM was the cringe. Is MM hinting that Andrew should put his clothes away for him? I certainly hope so. Andrew should be MM's bitch. Make yourself useful.
Twin 1 got bored in the Playboy mansion. She's going to get bored in the BB house, then. Moaning about all night parties. Yeah, it's a trial, isn't it? Well, it is when you have to suck that rotten old cock at the end of it, right?
Those sausages look absolutely vile. MM wants paper plates. Does he want someone to squeeze his toothpaste out for him like Prince Charles, too?
I don't think Natasha should over-egg this 'the way I've been portrayed in the media' thing. What you did was shitty, media or no but no one could really give that much of a fuck. I don;t wake up in a cold sweat thinking about Imogen Thomas, let alone Natasha Giggs. Glynn, if anything. Now, just don't mention it and let people get to know you.
I like Denise's pyjamas. Her family were probably worried about her making a twat of herself. They're probably going to be proved right. Actually, I don't mind her thus far. And we all know she gets the party started... sniff! Hey, she can sort Frankie out, they both like a bit of the naughties.
Nicola: 'I tend to act a personality.' What?! Can you imagine saying such a thing? Her whole persona is an act. She's a fa├žade in the shape of a humanoid.
LOL to Romeo in MM's pyjamas. They are proper pimp stylee. So not impressed with this Kirk dude, either. He's not doing it for me in any way shape or form. Especially not when they zoom in on him scratching his nuts.
Liking the series very much so far. From this episode I think Romeo could EASILY win it. Easily. Now, don't do anything to prove me wrong!

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