Celebrity Big Brother 2012: How to lose 12 and half stone in 30 minutes

Things I don't like hearing on the live feed. 'Celebrity wedding planner's on next.' 'We're on a 15 minute delay.' Kind of takes the 'reality' out of reality TV, doesn't it?
The crowd's cheers used to mean something. But not any more. The crowd can barely be trusted to hold a poster up straight. Love them chanting for the twins just as they get saved. In your face, morons! Wot way is Americas againz?
It's between Michael and Sonia! Sheeeeeeeeet! I was really worried Michael was going to go home then. Hilarious! Out of all those people Sonia got LEAST votes. Less than Romeo. Less than Nicola. Not so caring after all, hey? Honestly, the way she was acting it was like she was going to be able to pick and choose who was in the final five with her. Pride comes before a fall!
Ad break: I seem to remember Muse suing someone for putting that song on an advert about five years ago. Times must be hard.
The twins and Michael must be pleased that they got booed as the crowd is completely off. It's actually quite embarrassing for C5 how out of touch they are with the real viewers, ie. the viewers who care enough to vote, ie. the people who have been watching this show for over ten years, not some dribbling dickhead who can't even retain enough information to remember a simple name (hence the names on screen - although the people who need the names on the screen can't actually read anyway). Nearly a million people watched the live feed on Weds: need we say more?
She's STILL DOING IT in her interview, peddling the 'I'm down to earth' myth, calling the twins out on their 9,000 dollar shoes, and saying she shops at Dorothy Perkins. I don't give a FUCK where you buy your fucking knickers from, I don't LIKE YOU. And I'm not alone: more people picked up the phone for DENISE than you. You're full of it!
The biggest lie, that BOTS will be re-inforcing shortly, is that some kind of miscarriage of justice was served tonight. Actually, justice WAS served tonight. Kirk was the most horrible person in the house, and probably the most horrible person in Essex, although I believe Jack 'she's a CUNT' Tweed still lives there.
Natalie was considered 'nice' because she constantly kept going on about how 'nice' she was. When was the last time you told a group of people how 'nice' you were? It's not for YOU to say how nice you are. But some idiots will still fall for it. I like my housemates with a little more 4realz.
Natalie STILL going on at the twins. WELL JEL. You don't need to be able to boil a kettle when you can get mugs like you to do it for them.
Sonia virtually turned on Nicola at the end with no evidence. What a CARING person. Then she says Gareth to win. Spare me! What has he actually done except talk in an unbearable accent?
Love Brian fucking up at the end and saying 'Natalie wants Nicola out next.' Sweet. I hope she heard that!
Wow, that double eviction on Weds is going to be a big surprise, isn't it? SHOCKER!
Bye Sonia. And you aint even going to get Peggy's theme! Boo hoo. See you in Closer.