Big Brother 2011 - U r a knob

Sorry I'm late, I was trying to kick start my piece-of-shit laptop into life, by wiggling the wire to make it try and switch on. I'm a hairline crack away from electronic meltdown plus my netbook is fucked, plus my computer monitor is broken. I also spent half an hour dangling a coat hanger down the back of my fireplace tonight trying to save a tenner that fluttered through a crack, so you could say I'm on my uppers. It's been a bit of a shit day.

Now, which great philosopher once said, 'It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burrrrrrrrrnnnnnnn a thousand trees!' That's right, little Kelly Jones of the Stereophonics, who Aaron is turning to in his hour of need. It's more like Will Young's 'Leave right now' in that hell-house at the moment. At what point would you say the Stereophonics went down the dumper? Mr Writer would be the obvious answer, but let's face it, there were big problems from album 2 onwards. Still, an undeniable debut.

I don't blame Alex for lying about snogging Tom. Who in their right mind would jump on that showmance train? I HATE the way Faye deals with Aaron! 'What, with Maisy?' What is her problem?!

I can see Jay in his Del Boy outfit full time in a few years time. Having said that, I thought he was being quite kind to Aaron earlier when he was having one of his turns. Ten minute segments indeed. I have to take this show in ten minute segments. But I'm only allowed the amount specified by Big Brother.

LOL to them favouring a ten-year-old's general knowledge over Faye. She's gonna be a right mardy cow. I was shit at that general knowledge quiz, too. I only got 4. That kid was kind of stupid. They should have got a brainbox in to humiliate her.

Harry, you'll never look foxy, fox outfit or not. Hope they tear him to bits at the end. Harry was gleeful as a fox. I wish they'd teach him a proper lesson about hunting; like lock him in a task room and get PETA or Morrissey to talk some sense into him, with diagrams, and Harry's girlfriend as a hostage. Now THAT'S a task.

I wonder if that bookies smells like a bookies. Bet it don't. That smell cannot be replicated.

Aaron is so camp singing High School Musical. Nice to see him smiling, though. I wish Big Brother would be nicer to them sometimes.

Eww, Harry's sweaty bum! Gross.

Jem wants to leave so Faye can have fun! Hilarious. She's right though, it is more fun without Jem. Yes, she should leave them to it. Jem: 'it's all about Faye.' Because you're obsessed with her! This leaving conversation is interminable, I've heard it like a million times! Just show her leaving and let's get on with our lives.

Jay doesn't need someone to feed his energy, he needs someone to feed his idiotic ego. I can't relate to people who are upset that they can't exercise or socialise. I could exist quite happily in one room for a month, doing nothing and seeing no one.

Why should Aaron try and change Faye's mum's perception of him? Faye's mum should go fuck herself. She should have drowned her miserable daughters at birth and saved us all a headache.

Faye wants three kids OR a Range Rover. Aaron is going to give her a telling off in the DR now. Aaron, watch your mouth, what will Faye's mum say? Why doesn't he have that conversation with Faye?

Faye and Aaron: over because of a fictional Range Rover. God help us!