Thursday 16 July 2009

Big Brother 10: They're a right bunch of slosh pots

Karly, would you blow Marcus for a cigarette? I reckon it's 50/50. Lisa and Karly belong in fag-butt city. It's no worse than Geri Halliwell rooting through George Michael's bin for chocolate cake.
Nikki Graham looks like a child! How long before she says one of her catchphrases? Loved her saying 'I can't stand Marcus'. Nikki's sister came to my writing group once, and all the way through it was bothering me who she reminded me of, her mannerisms were exactly the same, then I sneaked a look at the register and it was Natalie Grahame! Starstruck or what? She never returned. Funny that.
I never understood the Nikki hate, she was a true legend. It sucked when she went back in and believed her own press but when she was all innocent, it was gold.
I see Siavash was casually dressed today (!!!) Marcus fancying Nikki was weird; Nikki is weirdly unsexy. Not very impressed with Karly or Nikki's dancing, it was rubbish. LOL to Nikki not even saying goodbye to Karly. Bad luck.
Karly was loving the Nikki/Marcus hate. Fair play, you might as well hoover up the crumbs. Do you remember last week Marcus said he'd shave his mullet off if he stayed in the house? LIES!
Brian Belo! The most endearing BB winner ever, I reckon. I liked him kissing everyone, it was cute. Vagina people! Memory lols.
I guessed they'd give the word 'boobs' to Brian. Ugalaboogala! Jaffa nips, dog nips and tax disc nips. WHAT??? That was one of the biggest laughs I've had in the BB house in weeks. Brian is MENTAL. The house needs a funny housemate SO BAD.
I like it when they rebel againt BB. Trust Charlie to be against it. Health and safety! Freddie's king of the world! I liked their dirty protest, it was good. Siavash didn't quite cut it, though. Marcus was the ringleader of the tormentors. I like it when it gives it back to BB.
We had a debate the other day about whether it's 'roofs' or 'rooves' which was inspired by Danny Dyer's deadliest men. It's actually roofs! WTF. Danny Dyer teaching us about the Queen's Facking English. Would you Adam and Eve it?
Haha, then they set the fire extingushers off. I like it when they're naughty! BB riot! Sweet. They should kidnap a cameraman next. Set the fucking place alight!
I KNEW Rodrigo was going to spazz out about it! Guaranteed! I liked it when they all went in the diary room together, that's proper BB stuff. We demand sweets! It must be the credit crunch, BB can't afford to feed them. No response! The silent treatment.
It is funny seeing them get told off and who bends straight away. Let's face it, BB can't throw the lot of them out. They are babies! Lisa, where's your anarchist credentials, you spineless shrew? I have newfound respect for Sophie and Charlie for protesting about the lack of Haribo.
BB is an idiot really, because they were all in bed by 1am last night. Give them the booze and it might make the show better, we might get a bisexual orgy.
Oh Rodrigo, give it a rest, mate. You ARE our soap opera, motherfucker. Now ACT!

2 comments:

Thrill Fiction said...

I had sex with this girl. She resented me for enjoying myself.

BB are idiots. This season... er series, they're too busy trying to make the housemates look like dicks.

Where's the fun?

One episode with Brian and Nikki and it was a different show.

lightupvirginmary said...

did you really have sex with her?!
You're a mysterious character AJaye...!