Sky Living: Jade changed my life

Well, not mine, but maybe Jack Tweed's. Temporarily.
Sorry I'm a day late on this but I don't have Sky Living so I had to watch it round a friends (pft, as if I've got friends, I just got it on a torrent). Anyway, it's here now, the publicity machine keeps spinning, long after she's dead. There they all are, the mum, Jack, Jeff, all at war, but all united by their love of Jade and her massive gob. Could any tribute be as heartfelt as Russell Brand's sweet-but-weird eulogy to Jade in Booky Wook? Well, Jack Tweed's funeral poem comes a close second, but that goes without saying.
Max Clifford! How is that Asian murder-in-South-Africa suspect doing, Max? Who WOULD play Jade in the film of her life?
I like Jeff, he seems like the very definition of 'a nice guy', unlike Jack, an attractive plank with a serious personality disorder. I don't think it would be too harsh to say he's semi-retarded (except to people with genuine disabilities). His own mother would probably agree, and is partly responsible. Who could forget Jack's star turn on Big Brother, where the only thing he did of note was to call Shilpa Shetty a 'cunt' under the covers? Never forget!
This documentary has told me nothing I didn't know so far. I think it's a bit much for that person to say if she'd been treated earlier she'd have survived, you can't know that and it's not that helpful to say it (unless it's to make others seek treatment earlier).
Watching Jack trying to process his feelings of grief is like watching a toaster trying to perform open-heart surgery. An admirable struggle, but it's never going to really get off the ground. Bless.
That wedding was harrowing viewing at the time (I watched it after a long night that didn't end well). She was brave- and dare I say it- beautiful.
I think Jack Tweed did love Jade, he just doesn't really know how to process language or emotions. I do feel sorry for him, because no one should have to go through that at his age, or any age, ideally.
The funeral circus was stupid, but no worse than the Royal madness waiting for us next month. At least Jade meant something to some people, unlike that stilted pair of robots.
I don't blame Jeff for whipping the boys away and not subjecting him to that whole thing. He seems extremely sensible and quite wise, actually. I like the fact he's not selling the children down the river, although I understand why Jade did it, too.
It is sad Jack can't see the kids anymore, but he made his own bed, really, and I think Jeff has their best interests at heart. It must be hard for Jack who helped bring them up, but it's a very difficult situation, with several extenuating circumstances (one involving a golf club and a taxi driver).
Jesus, Jack's only 23 now. He's a baby. I do feel for Jade's mum because Jade was more of a mum to her than anything else. She must be lost without her.
It was nice seeing her friends too, and that they're keeping her memory alive. I hope I would be celebrated in death and not just moped over.
PS. Jeff is getting kind of hotter with old age, no?
This show made me pine for Big Brother. What is happening to the C5 bid? What have we got to look forward to in the summer? And more importantly, how am I going to get any traffic to my blog without it?

Jade Goody: Kill Your Television

A long time ago one of best friends told me to start writing a blog. And so I did, right as Celebrity Big Brother 2007 kicked off (but before it kicked off). How detrimental writing this blog has been to my 'real' writing, I don't know. But there's always another way to waste time, and this is one of the better ones, at least it involves words. And so it continues.
In one of my first ever posts on this blog I wrote of Jade Goody 'I would LOVE to see Jade's empire fall to bits around her. I bet I'm not the only one.' Yet in the same post I wrote, 'I felt warm to Jade, even though she is a hateful moron.' And I did, actually, until that thing that happened that we all know about, and which killed CBB for a year and made the whole country feel ashamed to be British.
When it was announced she first had cancer, like you, I thought 'yeah right.' The fact it was announced on Big brother India seemed highly cynical and designed to make us magically forget you know what; but something that seared into public consciousness never gets forgotten (does it, Jonathan Ross?)
But now it's serious. She really is dying (she must be right, still I feel doubtful, like it can't be true, is that awful?) at 27. You have to feel sorry for her; getting married to that plank of wood is bad enough for starters. He appeared emotionally and socially incontinent on CBB so the thought of him looking after her is quite terrifying. The fact he's tagged and has a curfew must be painful, too, come 7pm. Let’s hope she doesn’t leave the twonk a penny, even though he’ll gobble up some crumbs from the red tops.
And then there's all the other stuff, like, you know, dying. 27 is a pitiful age to die, even if it is the age of the rock star death. Jade’s no Kurt Cobain.
So on one side there’s the ‘good on her, making cash for her kids’ camp, and on the other ‘how undignified, isn’t she crass’ crowd. And the ‘oh I’ve been to the doctors for a smear test since’ gang. Well if it took Jade Goody to get you to look after your sexual health like that, I pity you. And in the middle is Max Clifford rubbing his hands together, innocent as a choir boy.
And yet I, who during CBB ’07 probably silently and not-so-silently wished Jade dead on a few occasions, feel nothing. I DID want her empire to crumble. I don’t like stupid people being celebrated as geniuses (hands up, Jordan), I don’t like people being ‘famous for being famous’ and I didn’t like Jade’s personality. That doesn’t mean I want her to die. But it doesn’t mean I care wholeheartedly. And people pretending they do; well, I just don’t buy it. It’s just the chance for a bit of celebrity rubber-necking, the old Princess Diana circus for chavs.
When she dies, it will be a shock, I’m sure. It will end an era in which we lived vicariously through a bunch of idiots in a house, or on a beach, or in a jungle for nearly a decade. This time around I think Jade could kill 'real' Big Brother, and maybe even reality TV itself. Davina’s cavorting will be harder to bear than ever when their anti-queen is dead, the queen that they built up, mocked, knocked down, and threw away. She took her money and ran, and still is, but it didn’t give her much else, did it?
This could even be the death of Heat. Who knows what power Jade yields. Watch this space. (Saying 'watch this space' is cool.)
PS: Grammar Nazi... how DO you pronounce cervical cancer? I keep hearing people going 'cervi-ick-al.' That aint right, is it?