Review: Save Me

It's been a long time since I've been inspired to write a blog (or anything, to be honest) out of nowhere, so cheers Lennie James. The only decent thing I've watched recently was also on Sky Atlantic (and was also available in one long binge), which was Tin Star, with the amazing Tim Roth. And I didn't write a blog about that. But I literally just finished watching Save Me and have not read a thing about it, so here are my pure thoughts.
Save Me had something special. Firstly, do not read this blog if you haven't seen it, because it's really fucking good and the less you know, the better.
At first glance from the advert I thought, oh a drama starring Lennie James (of Snatch and Walking Dead fame) and Suranne Jones (of Corrie and Doctor Foster) about a missing girl, that could be worth a watch as they're both good actors. I was totally off with my idea of what I thought it would be and what it was.
I watched the first one and was gripped. It was a combination of things, the acting, the characters, the world Lennie James had created (did I mention he wrote it, too?) It felt truly like a story about Londoners, about real people.
Lennie James's character is very interesting, a man about town, sleeping with half his tower block. I love the iconic yellow coat he wears throughout; something about it just adds to his quirkiness and charm (and when they give him the yellow snooker ball... fucking hell). I've been looking to invest in a mustard coat all winter, and in swaggers Lennie James with all the panache in his yellow bomber jacket, while I'm already moving onto 'spring jacket' territory (well, hoping to). His character is charming, a wide boy, a user... and feels really real. It feels like he's based on a real person.
We're first introduced to Lennie's through his various women, but Suranne Jones doesn't feature for quite a while, until her daughter goes missing, and the police arrest Lennie (well, Nelly as he's called in the show).
When they are together on screen, they are fantastic - in fact every character in it is a brilliant actor and unique. What is going on with Nelly and the woman behind the bar? Did the Avon deliveries ever get done in the end? What were those mysterious caramel eggs and where can I buy them? (Serious echos of the yellow pool ball there... a LITERAL Easter egg, as much as I usually hate that expression when used about secret clues/ codes in films or programmes - although I fucking love real easter eggs, obviously.)
Talking of shows with 'easter eggs' how can Lennie show up for work as Morgan on The Walking Dead and read out those drossy lines and scripts and play the wooden character he's become. I can only guess he must be getting a huge paycheck he must be getting for Fear The Walking Dead (Is that even what it's called?! I think he called it Fear Of The Walking Dead on The Talking Dead, ha) And that huge paycheck went towards making this brilliant series. Scott M Gimple, read Save Me's screenplay and go take a long hard look in the mirror, mate.
I digress. There are too many characters to delve into (this is how you do an ensemble cast, The Walking Dead) but one of the most intriguing was Nelly's paedophile mate, who Nelly has to use to try and find his daughter. Their relationship (and the relationship between the paedophile mate and his younger girlfriend) was so compelling. When Nelly has to go to the paedo club to try and track down his daughter, you can feel the disgust in the air, yet his friend is on his own turf, conflicted, but tempted. It is horrific to watch, and fascinating. I would love to know where their friendship stood at the end. It seemed to me Nelly actually did care for him, and his relationship. I mean, that's pretty brave, to have a paedophile as a character you (almost) want to root for, who is helping someone find his daughter... but also capitalising on the situation by getting to 'do stuff' (barely, as he said) with young girls... that is dark, and that is very, very interesting. It's something you don't see very often as most shows wouldn't touch it.
So many more interesting sub plots and characters; the transvestite/ drag queen neighbour, the indie kids, the paedo drug owner, Nelly's various bits on the side... just so good. Some of Nelly's speeches were so powerful, even his ringtone was a character - 'you what, you what, you what' - and if you're not answering your phone with 'who dis?' from now on, why not?
This is the first thing I've watched in over a year that made my put my phone down, and that in the final half an hour had my heart beating through my chest (only Big Brother US HOH competitions and Breaking Bad's last series have done that to me in the last five years).
Which brings us to the ending. I was so hoping for the ending I wanted, I could see it in my head, the rescue mission, the reuniting. Of course, I suspected it wouldn't be that easy, or that schmaltzy for a show that had been pretty gritty. When Suranne Jones' character Claire nearly gets raped by the indie kid trying to get information out of him and ends up nearly raping HIM, I was on the edge of my seat. When Nelly was at the auction to buy his daughter and Adrian fucking Edmonson was the auctioneer, I was gripped. But when he found her... I knew it wasn't her straight away! Why didn't he! And then I got scared. I got scared when I typed 'save me' as a hashtag and 'save me ending' was the first thing that came up. I got scared we were going into dream sequence territory. Or that he was going to be talking to a dead body. And I didn't like the little flashback things. It felt cheap. It felt Walking Dead. And it felt like it was setting up series two.
The music playing at the end was perfect though, something it also had in common with Tin Star.
And like Tin Star, this would have been SO GOOD as a one off series. That last episode of Tin Star also went off the rails, although way worse than this.
So what happened? Obviously Sky Atlantic wanted to do another series. I don't blame them, with such an excellent cast and fantastic writing. But it leaves us unsatisfied, and after such a thrill ride, we deserved a pay off, be it good or bad. It felt too much like bait and switch, and was not in keeping with the integrity of the rest of the show. But on the whole, it was NEARLY perfect. It was 9/10.
Will I be watching series two? Of course I will! I'd watch it right now if I could! Who dis?
It's Lennie fucking James and he's a legend.

Album review: Morrissey – World Peace is None of Your Business

Welcome to one of my sporadic album reviews where I go through track by track and say which song of this new album sounds like a song off one of the ’s old albums. Really, what more do you need to know?

I had my first listen to World Peace is None of Your Business yesterday so this is only my second listen, and just like first impressions of Big Brother housemates, all first night/week opinions are subject to change. But it’s a bit boring to review an album a month after you’ve got it, isn’t it? I laughed my arse off on the first listen, this album is funnier than Morrissey’s book.

It made me realise how long it has been between albums, too as Years of Refusal came out when I’d not been with my boyfriend long. We sat in a bedsit in Finsbury Park reading the lyrics when it came out, and laughing at lyrics like ‘it hasn’t!’ and it’s now we’re reading new lyrics nearly six years later. He does like to make us wait.

First up, World Peace is None of Your Business. God, that’s long to write out every time. This was the only song from the album I’d already heard. It starts off with what sounds like a didgeridoo, which is a bit worrying in the current post-Rolf climate. The song reminds me of I will see you in far off places, but I think that might just be the length of the title. It has a kind of Sweetie Pie-esque dreaminess about it in the verses. The lyrics are a bit clunky, but ‘each time you vote you support the process’ is bound to wind people up, which makes it a good lyric. And no, Morrissey didn’t get that idea from Russell Brand. Morrissey virtually gave birth to Russell Brand, so get it the right way round. Always nice to be called ‘a poor little fool’ by Morrissey, too.

Next is Neal Cassady drops dead. Who is Neal Cassady? I don’t know. Some black and white dude according to my Google search. It doesn’t matter, because the crux of this song is the ‘chorus’: ‘everyone has babies, babies full of rabies, rabies full of scabies… get that thing away from me.’ Not forgetting ‘tyke full of gripe.’ He also uses the word ‘nipper’ – I thought that was in the sole domain of Matthew Wright and his panellists on The Wright Stuff. There’s also an Irish sounding bit at the end where just sings no words for a while.

I’m Not a Man has a pointlessly long, almost silent 1.37 second intro… am I listening to a Bright Eyes album or a Morrissey album? This song has a decent level of theatrics and some odd lyrics – ‘beef-a-ronie’?! I can imagine him doing it live. I would plot it on the anthem scale of; not as good as It’s Not Your Birthday Anymore but better than Come Back to Camden. He also does some Chris Martin style ‘woo woo’s. Vegetarians note: there’s some funny lyrics about T-bone steak giving people cancer of the prostate.  I like to think of this song as the antidote to that awful song out at the moment that goes ‘I’m a man, yes I am.’ (That’s a reference for my younger readers.)

I’m not hugely enamoured with Istanbul but my boyfriend liked it. On first listen it made me think of The Father Who Must Be Killed – argh! But it’s not that bad. It’s quite atmospheric, I suppose. I’m not really feeling it – yet!

Earth is the Loneliness Planet of All is the one I’ve almost learnt the lyrics to already; it’s pretty catchy. It has a Spanish-sounding guitar on it and the lyrics are quite mournful. It has quite a good little instrumental bit at the end, too. It should be the next single, if Morrissey’s record label hadn’t pointlessly released almost every album as a download-only single already.

If you’re concerned about the title of Staircase at the University, you’d be right to be. A very strange song about someone throwing themselves down the stairs because of exam pressure. Like, where do you get your ideas, Morrissey, you mad sod? It’s a very jaunty little number for lyrics about someone’s ‘head splitting three ways’. This song kind of reminds me of Mute Witness, in that it has a throwaway, upbeat quality, and you know what? I like Mute Witness.

The Bullfighter Dies sounds like it’s going to be Meat is Murder-style depressing from the title, but is actually another perky one. I like the ‘mad in Madrid’ ‘ill in Seville’ lines. The chorus goes ‘hooray, hooray, the bullfighter dies.’ Who wouldn’t want to sing along to that?

My friend said she’d heard Kiss me a Lot on the radio and ‘it was shit’. I’m just surprised El Moz is getting played on the radio. Besides, it’s better than Let Me Kiss You. But what isn’t? It kind of reminds me of I Like You in that it’s sort of throwaway, but fun.

The first turkey of the album is Smiler with Knife, which is probably one of the worst titles of all time, plus the song has no tune. It plods along, painfully. This is going to be wearing down my skip button.

Kick the Bride Down the Aisle lyrically reminds me of Courtney Love’s new song Wedding Day ‘Break my neck on my wedding day/ She can’t walk but she can crawl’. It’s a funny title although the song is quite misogynistic, but it’s not like we haven’t heard it before from Moz, going as far back as William.. I noticed him doing it in his book as well, writing women off as fat or just lipstick wearers. Like Eminem, Morrissey gets a pass, but let’s not make a habit of it, hey? Why not ‘kick the husband down (or up) the aisle’? Sample lyric: ‘Look at that cow in the field, it knows more than your bride knows now.’ And I’m just pleased he wasn’t saying ‘look at that cow’ to describe the bride. Kristeen Young is also yodelling in the background if you like that sort of thing… I do, but only in short doses. I think I Will Never Marry probably summed up this sentiment a lot more poetically.

Next, unfortunately, is another duff one, but what did you expect from the title – Mountjoy?! Nonsensical lyrics and mentions of ‘man and boy’ – never good. I think ‘droning’ would be a good word to describe this song. As if that wasn’t terrifying enough a title, the next song is called Oboe Concerto. No oboes, please! And no flutes either. This isn’t a great ending to the album.

On the whole, though, three bad songs out of 12 isn’t bad, sometimes it’s only three GOOD songs out of 12. But… there’s no one song that I want to take to my heart and cuddle, either. Still at this point I’m just glad he’s still putting albums out. No, I’m just glad he’s alive.

Luckily, if you got the deluxe version, there’s some more good stuff to come. There’s a high-drama studio version of Scandinavia, which is great to have and true to the live version.

Next is possibly my favourite song of the lot (well done for not putting it on the album proper, Moz!) One of Your Own. It has an almost-underwater piano running behind it and the lyrics, ‘A job half done isn’t done’. Lyrically has that serial killer vibe about it which Moz loves so much. I like the end where he just repeats ‘I have no use for tomorrow.’

Drag the River starts with the sound of the ocean – well it sounds more like the ocean than the river. I’d say it’s quite a standard Morrissey b-side, pretty but not amazing.

Forgive Someone is pretty duff, I must say. Who exactly? Next is Julie in the Weeds, another shocking song title and quite unmemorable except for some interesting sound effects in the middle.

The final song is the hilarious Art Hounds – ‘When you can’t find a table for your fat aunt Mabel you stamp your feet and cry’ – which is brilliant to hear a studio version of, but it’s lacking a bit of the bite of the live version. It sounds a bit slowed down and not as high in the chorus? Also some of the lyrics have changed for the worst, like changing ‘If you cannot stand the real world, take my hand’ to ‘if you cannot stand this fake world take my hand’ which isn’t as good or as cool. You’ve got to love ‘I take 16 pills to send me to sleep and 16 to shake me awake’, though. It takes me back to Something is Squeezing my Skull, which takes us back to Years of Refusal – and where we started.

So that’s it. Funny, silly, dramatic, clever, childish… it’s all there. Now who does that remind you of? 

Review: RoboCop 2014

I took my boyfriend on a date to see the new RoboCop last night! Oh the romance. And on the bus home I broke the news to my boyfriend about the Morrissey, Cliff Richard and Tom Jones gig, which I still won’t believe is real until I see it, and I also refuse to see it, so in my mind it will just remain a bad dream, even though everyone is talking about it and laughing at me. Well, ha bloody ha.  

NB: This blog will contain very mild spoilers. But it’s a blog about a new film, what do you expect!?

Anyway, RoboCop. RoboCop is my boyfriend’s favourite film and I think he must have seen it 500 times. I have seen it with him about 15 times and I still can’t remember what happens half the time, but he does, going, ‘this is a good bit coming up’ every five minutes. A lot of people seem to be being quite prissy and precious about this new RoboCop, ‘oh it’s a PG’, ‘oh, his suit is black’, ‘oh it’s not a satire’ but my boyfriend was just like, ‘It’s ROBOCOP!’

The added bonus for all straight women and gay and bi men (inclusive!) going to watch the film, is the new RoboCop is played by Swedish hottie Joel Kinnaman. If you’ve not watched the US version of The Killing, you’ve missed out on him playing a reformed-junkie cop who talks like a bad rapper, yet there is something so endearingly warm about him you just want to sit in a police car smoking fags in the pouring rain with him, whilst young girls get murdered all around you.

The new RoboCop director José Padilha obviously thought the same, as he gives Joel the same accent in this role, oh and he’s a cop, as well, as the title suggests. Typecast? Who cares. I was worried Joel doesn’t quite have the lips for the role (RoboCop needs a good pair of lips, as that’s the only bit you can see most of the time) but luckily he has his visor up quite a lot so we can look at his lovely face. Although the bit where you see he’s just a head, lungs and a hand is a bit off-putting. How are you going to have robosex at this rate (come on, it’s what everyone is thinking)?

I’m going to fess up now and say despite being forced to watch the original many times, the only things that really stick in my mind about it is that robot going nutso at the beginning and the sad bit when RoboCop (the dude) dies. The new film does not follow the same plot but has lots of elements the same.

Samuel L Jackson is exactly as you’d expect him to be as the news anchor championing RoboCops. I liked the start where they showed the how the robots worked in Tehran. I liked all the bits where Joel Kinnaman was human. I didn’t even mind the one flashbacky/dream bit as I got to see his real body again. His wife is lovely but dull, which is a bit of a shame, especially as there is a strong female character in the original RoboCop.

Gary Oldman plays the doctor who puts Alex Murphy back together after something bad happens to him (different to the original) and Michael Keaton is the mastermind trying to market the cops in America. Both actors can be annoying at times, and good in other things (Gary Oldman will never top Drexel in True Romance, for example: ‘It aint white boy day, is it?’) but both were reliable in this.

For a PG I thought the film was still quite violent, but less bloody and probably less scary than the original. As you’d expect, it focuses more on the action and things blowing up.

The black suit WAS a bit crap, I preferred the original, but I didn’t mind the motorbike. We laughed a few times ‘I’m in marketing!’ but it probably wasn’t as funny as the original.

It felt like quite a long film but didn’t drag at all, unlike most long films I’ve watched lately that could have done with a bloody good edit (Hunger Games 2 – Catching Fire, for example, could have happily lost the first 45 minutes).

I was a bit wary of seeing this film as out of the corner of my eye I had seen hints of some duff reviews, but I enjoyed it much more than I expected. I like sci fi, I like futuristic things, and I like Joel Kinnaman, so I was sold. My boyfriend also enjoyed it, and he actually knows about these things, so STFU Robosnobs.

My view on remakes is the same as cover versions: if you’re going in wanting the same as the original, just watch or listen to the original. A cover version should offer us a different take on a song, just ask Darius, or more sensibly, see The Killers version of the Bright Eyes song Four Winds. I’m talking taking a country song and turning it electro. Nice. That’s what the RoboCop reboot does; it takes a classic, and presents it to you in a different way. If you’re the kind of movie snob who has made their mind up going in that it’s going to be crap, then yes, you’ll probably find plenty to bitch and moan about. But I’m a person who was glad to see Big Brother picked up by Channel 5, even if it was an inferior version (at first) because I LOVE BIG BROTHER, like my boyfriend LOVES ROBOCOP. So if you love RoboCop, why not be pleased to see him again, black suit or otherwise?

Having said this, I thought Rec 3 was more entertaining than Rec 1, so you probably can’t trust my opinion on anything. Rec 2 is obviously the best though; ‘RELAX!’ *hides behind pillow*

Live: Placebo at Brixton Academy (16 December 2013)

I arose from my pit to go to my annual gig last night (although I think I saw Desaparecidos this year too) and staggered out to Brixton Academy to see Brian and the boys (and girl). I decided on my usual no coat/ no drinks policy to get as close as possible: I didn’t count on pissing down rain and a car going through a puddle at high speed in Brixton soaking us from head to foot. Oh, well. At least any beer splashed on me after this point seemed harmless.

We just caught the end of support act Toy, who looked quite decent, and slinked down the side, so we were one place behind the barrier on the side (my favourite spot). The people around us seemed quite normal. So far, so good.

No dirgy intro vids with Placebo (I’m looking at you, Morrissey), they hit the stage promptly soon after nine, opening with crappy single B3 –‘ passion flower, catherine wheel’, check. Still it was exciting to see our Brian on the stage. I knew the set would be new album heavy which I didn’t mind as I really like the new album but they played such a lot of other songs that it didn’t seem that way. I wanted to hear a mix of brand new or quite old, and I wasn’t disappointed.

 Loud Like Love was the first one they played and ‘breathe, breathe, believe’ sounded epic at this volume (and right by the speakers).

The last album was only touched on with the Gameboy kitsch of For What It’s Worth and later, Speak in Tongues, which was pretty much the right balance (although I did miss Battle for the Sun). Me and my boyfriend exchanged glances when they played Twenty Years as neither of us like it, as it seems to go on for twenty years, but actually the second half of the song is quite good live. I might need to give it another chance. They followed it with the unmatchable Every Me, Every You (the only time a song has ever been ‘reimagined’ live to be better than the original) which really got the energy going. The couple next to me were very enthusiastic!

Too Many Friends was brilliant and made highly ironic by all the camera phone idiots filming it whilst Brian sang the line, ‘when all people do all day, is stare into a phone’. The camera phones, and the size of them, do make me feel a bit old, and the bouncers were like vultures, pouncing on anyone who was filming rather than taking a pic. One particularly annoying girl got hers knocked out of her hand by a bouncer after he’d told her a few times, and it seemed to stop working, which cheered me up immensely, as she’d been bumping into me about five minutes before. Thems the breaks, indeed.

Scene of the Crime was really good (handclaps! Washing machine!) and Rob the Bank is gloriously stupid. A nice surprise was Space Monkey, one of many tracks off Meds to follow (although sadly not Because I Want Youuuuuuuuu-ooooooo). My boyfriend recognised Space Monkey long before I did. I must admit, I still do pine for the toy megaphone. I think a computer does the voice distortion now. Still, better than when he just did it with his own hands one year. Space Monkey and all the fab Meds songs bring back memories of the best Placebo Gig EVER Rock am Ring, with the sunset going down. I think we must have watched that about 20 times. Not that I was there. But I wish I had been. There were some good visuals for Space Monkey going on at Brixton, too. Next they played Blind, which is OK, but I don’t think I can ever get over the lyrics of ‘your eyes forever glued to mine’ – ouch.

It was lovely to hear Meds (was dancing quite a bit by this point) and not at all lovely to hear the terrible Song to Say Goodbye – not helped by a vertically challenged little dick trying to pick a fight with me. ‘Is there space there for a midget?’ No there isn’t, plus I’M a midget. He ended up pushing my boyfriend, which is always delightful. I just love leaving the house and mingling with the human race!

Anyway, this ended up as a bit of a result for me, as my boyfriend moved me in front of him, out of the midget eyeline, and I ended up having a better spot, just in time for the singalong greatness of Special K. The crowd was really going mad by this time, and there was a great atmosphere. By the time the first notes of The Bitter End kicked in, the roof was off. Yeah, I said it! The roof was off. Amazing.

After the encore, they came back and did the slowed down version of Teenage Angst (I’d prefer the normal version) and the epic Running Up That Hill. I love the way Brian sings ‘God’ as ‘Gaaaaaaad’.

The best part though, were the final two songs of Post Blue ‘It’s in the water, baby’ and the unstoppable Infrared. I was amazed they did so much off Meds, and if there’s a better line on record than ‘Someone call the ambulance/ there’s gonna be an accident’ I’d like to hear it. Just a fantastic way to end.

Brian doesn’t say much, but he doesn’t need to, the songs do the talking. He and Stefan have a great rapport with the crowd, and with each other, and looked genuinely happy to be there. And despite a puddle and a self-proclaimed midget threatening to ruin things, the force than is Placebo could not be ruined. Thanks for a good night, Brian. 

Review: Desaparecidos live at the Electric Ballroom, Camden

So last week I went to see Conor Oberst perform solo at Barbican, and it was a really lovely gig. A great venue, and a good mixture of Bright Eyes, solo and new songs. White Shoes had me in floods of tears and You are your mother's child had me crying for my pregnant mate who couldn't be there. Even my boyfriend, who was a stand in, and doesn't LOVE Conor, enjoyed it (or at least didn't moan the whole way through). The only downside was it was all seated, and although the view was good, we were a bit far back and you never quite get the atmosphere of a proper gig. I was jolted towards the end gig, though, when Conor said 'my other band is playing next week'. And he didn't mean Bright Eyes, who I've seen numerous times. No, he was talking about Desaparacidos, his best and loudest side project. The band only has one album so it would be guaranteed they would be playing all my favourite songs on it, and they haven’t played for 10 years! But tickets had sold out ages ago. I had to dig around.
After a close call with a conman on Gumtree (don't ever put a request for tickets on there!) I finally got a ticket for £50 on eBay. Quite a lot over the face values of £15 but £15 seemed very low in the first place (it was £30 for Conor solo). I would have paid up to £100 if I'd had the money!
So I met up with the guy selling the ticket outside – thank god he turned up! – and then there I was, at my first ever gig I'd been to alone. I did a smooth manoeuvre to the front; there was a guy at the barrier obviously saving a space for a friend, so I kind of slid into the spot over a period of about five minutes. Come on, you can’t hog barrier, be there, or be usurped. I could tell he was a bit grumpy so I offered him a Tic-Tac (I was on a strict no fluids policy, as I have a pathetically weak bladder) and then I felt I’d made my peace. When his friends did finally turn up there were about 12 of them, so I didn’t feel so bad.
I hadn’t heard of support band Johnny Foreigner, but I admire their name. I think he said, ‘we’re from Chicago’ when he came out in a very-non-Chicago accent, but at the end he admitted they were from Birmingham. I’d describe their sound as a yelpier Bloc Party, and the band had a girl and a black bloke, so it covered all bases. Was good to hear a woman screaming (hold on, that doesn’t sound quite right) and they looked the part. She reminded me of Kylie off Corrie. I enjoyed them and I rarely say that about a support band.
Desa (can I call them that for now, I still struggle to spell it) came on about 9.15, and the place KICKED OFF.
They opened with a new song Left is Right (thanks to Lee who sold me the ticket, because I only had two of the new songs, and he alerted me to two more! I'm a bad fan) and the energy was just crazy. I felt like a young person again!.Conor came out in some hideous stars n stripes sunglasses and the long hair he’s got at the moment and a little stars and stripes neckerchief. I hate his long hair but that’s beside the point. I can honestly say, I think I had the best spot in the house, right in front of where Conor finally came out, and just on the edge of the mad moshpit so whilst I got jostled a fair bit, I didn’t want to kill someone (an occupational hazard at gigs).
Probably the most amazing song was the second one, Happiest Place on Earth, which is one of my favourite songs of all time, it just has the most amazing lyrics, a song about war that you don’t resent for being a song about war. Actually, he’s good at those (see also No one would riot for less and the silly When the President talks to God - notable for me going 'I DOUBT IT!' quite a lot). It was just perfection, and everyone was going mad. I was even headbanging – WTF.
Probably the best thing about Desa is they don’t have any slow songs, every single one is a screamer. So it was a nice contrast to the acoustic gig of the week before. Also, as they only have one album, you knew every song. It’s quite cool to go to a gig where you’ve been listening to that one album for 10 years, never expecting to hear it live, because the band had disbanded. And then when they get back together it’s not a tired old money-making racket like Pulp, for example.
At one point Conor  played the song $$$$ and limp-wristedly threw some money in the air, that never even got as far as the end of the stage, and at the end of the gig, the bouncer stole it! What a git. It was £35 as well because I could see it sitting there (hey big spender) – that would have covered the extra cost of my ticket! Conor also said he'd been shopping on Camden Market; wish I'd gone there that day!
All of the songs were good (there was a Clash cover which I wasn’t fussed on, but it beats Moon Over Kentucky or whatever crap Morrissey normally tries to inflict). But my favourite has to be Man and Wife, The Latter (Damanged Goods). I must have played that song in my car over a thousand times. It’s just pop perfection. So to hear them play it seemed slightly unreal. The crowd was literally bouncing all over the place, I haven’t been to a gig with energy like that in years. And thank fuck I was on the barrier, or I would have had to run for cover.
It was so nice just to be that close to Conor and not to have to worry about anyone else, but just to do exactly what I wanted. I would definitely recommend going to a gig on your own, it’s fun.The crowd was small as well; there wasn't even a queue. I thought Conor fans would have turned out in droves.
I really pray that Desa put out a new album now, Conor is at his best when he’s screaming or heartbroken, and about as far away from a country guitar as possible. He promised to come back sooner, so don't let us down!

Album review: Morrissey- Years of Refusal

So is it finally time for me to do a ridiculously long and rambling review of Years of Refusal? It feels odd because I've been listening to it for a month now, and reviews should be written off the bat, even if they end up being wildly wrong, like my latest Killers one. There's a beauty in that wrongness, in jumping to conclusions, because it's fun to look back and go, what was I thinking? (correction: Day and Age is AMAZING! I demand you watch the Spaceman video)
I will say I only downloaded Refusal because I went to Quarry night where they were playing it, and I wanted to hear it in my own time first. And I was right to. I did enjoy hearing it played loud at Quarry, but that is no time to form your thoughts on an album, you need the lyrics clutched in your sweaty little paw, if possible.
So I decided to wait to write about Mozzy, to let it sink in, to let him catch up. We've had a funny old year, me and Moz. Actually, he's done more for me in the past year than probably any other.
So let's do it:
Something is Squeezing My Skull:Like you, I first heard SISMS many moons ago on Jules Holland. I was very excited by it at the time; I especially like his drugs shopping list at the end, and the 'don't gimme any more' bit. I like it when he pushes his vocals and yelps a bit. It's a solid, rocky start to the album and a well-judged opener.
Mama Lay Softly on the Riverbed: I think I first heard this at the Wireless festival, and in the mire of my early hangover (I stopped drinking too early) this song reached out and grabbed me round the throat. It promised better things ahead. It was just me and Moz at that second and i knew he heard me. 'Life is nothing much to lose/ It's just so lonely here without you': well, it's just perfect, isn't it? I like the fact it sprawls all over the place, the tune going in different directions, it has different parts to it, and a bit of a paranoid android feel (although I hate Paranoid Android). In fact, I think stick another two minutes or so onto it and it would be even better. I like songs that overstay their welcome. I like the instrumental break in the middle, I can imagine Moz swinging his mic around in a frenzy. Are we tired of lyrics about 'bailiffs with bad breath' and 'uncivil servants'? Not really, it's a giggle, innit. That's our Mozzy. And death has never seemed so appealing as 'we will be safe and sheltered in our graves'; it makes me want to snuggle down six feet under immediately. I like the 'woooooh's at the end and the marching-band drumbeat, and just everything, really. This is top ten Morrissey material (which is why he'll never release it as a single). One criticism, the keyboard is a bit quiet on the studio version. But considering how dire studio versions of songs can be once you've fallen in love with the live version, I think we should just be grateful there's no flute (or saxaphone!)
Black Cloud: It took me a while to get into Black Cloud; I thought it was a bit throwaway at first, but it's actually very catchy and 'roosts in the mind' before you know it (I'm too good). It's a bit comical, the thought of Moz and his cartoon black cloud on a string (is that just me?), but I defy you not to be singing it to your (un)loved one within weeks. This is one of my faves of the album now.
I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris: Another one that has been knocking around for a while, I was fairly unimpressed by this at first, but it's a bit of a grower and pleasant enough, if lyrically fairly unexciting. I like the video; it's cute. Could I live without it? Yes. but he does like a forgettable single, and he does like to test our patience. I'm surprised he didn't consign Mama to a b-side.
All You Need is Me: Why is All You Need is Me on the album? Should it be? It was on the greatest hits. It's nothingy. It's poppy. It's silly. I'd rather he realeased some new singles. It's just Moz resting on his laurels, I think. Lyrically, it's the same old narcissistic schtick. However, you gotta love 'you don't like me but you love me, either way you're wrong.' It's Moz-by-numbers. But his numbers are worth doing the lottery with.
When Last I spoke to Carol: Ariba! This is Moz in horsey, clip-cloppy, film-soundtrack mode (see: barking dogs). It's probably one of the more original songs on the album, and it's definitely grown on me loads. Shouldn't it be 'when I last spoke to Carol?' It is on my itunes. Haha! (I'm buying the album, I swear!) I hate it when Moz plays silly buggers with his grammar. Will he be donning a sombrero for the video? Now that I'd like to see. I think this song would be fun to drive along to. I like the lyric 'to the rescue, nobody ever comes' even though it's a bit Yoda-esque. He does some good 'woooah'-ing on this album too. His voice has never sounded better.
That's How People Grow Up: How long ago did Mozzy fall out with Kristeen? It must be at least a year. Therefore; this song is OLD! I can't even tell this song and All You Need is Me apart half the time. Zzzz.
One Day Goodbye will be Farewell This song starts with the bizarre line, 'Always be careful when you abuse the one you love' how about, 'just don't', Mozzy? Another clip-cloppy horsey one; rather hilariously I read an interview with Morrissey last week where he said he strives to make all his songs have 'different vocal melodies' and he's only slipped up twice. Eh??? Half his songs sound exactly the same, including at least four songs on this album. This song screams album track in my opinion, and that title is straight out of a Morrissey song-title generator. However, I like the bit where he says 'I have been thinking (what with?) My final brain cell.' Talking to himself now. Oh this song also goes either 'shabba, shabba, shabba' or 'Shabnam, Shabnam, Shabnam' at the end. And no one wants to be reminded of Shabnam, do they?
It's Not Your Birthday Anymore: So this is the money shot. You can tell from the opening lines that it's just going to be magical. Everything works in unison; the tune, his voice, the lyrics (it's lyrically confused, but that's fine when they are this good). OK I can live without the symbals, but you know, I'm kind of used to them now. The first time I listened to this I thought it kicked in too early and we might have a kind of faux-fan favourite like 'Come Back to Camden' on our hands. Luckily, I was wrong. This song is DIVINE. It sounds sacriligious, but the song really makes me think of Coldplay; it has that big stadium feel to it. If Coldplay dared to release this, it would be a monster hit, but I don't think they have the balls for lines like 'the will to see you smile and belong has now gone'. The lyrics are beautiful, funny, exciting, sexy. 'The love I am now giving to you right here right now on the floor' is a bit risque for Mozzles. But it's bloody great. When he does that falsetto bit in the middle, it's like a choir, it's that heavenly. I just felt my heart go the first time I heard it, I just knew. It was a Speedway moment. But there's more; then there's this bit where he goes 'oooooh-uh-oh' at the end, and you couldn't wish for more, his voice sounds fucking amazing, it is just lush beyond words. It's like an orgasm in a song. It's like nothing he's ever done before. God, I hope he does it live. I hope he knows how good it is.
You Were Good in Your Time: This is my least favourite song on the album; it's like a dreary old soundtrack to some black and white film. I can just see Moz crooning it in the mirror, and it barely has a tune. It's only redeeming feature is the joke at the end, which is ruined by the Bright Eyes-style 'atmospherics' afterwards. God, don't I suffer enough of that shit from Conor? Bet you a zillion pounds he makes us suffer through it on tour. (Sorry James)
Sorry Doesn't Help: Didn't think much to this at first, but 'sorry doesn't help' really comes in handy as a catchphrase, you know. It's a bit horsey again. 'Like a QC full of fake humility': I even know the name of that frigging QC now thanks to some Moz fan on Mastermind (she was good). This song has grown on me; once you get over the fact all the average ones sound the same, it's fine.
I'm OK By Myself: Oh, what a title. This song really reminds me of 'You Know I couldn't Last' which ends Quarry and 'At Last I am Born' which ends Ringleaders. It's his typical overblown ending to an album, him just hammering the point home in case you didn't quite catch it yet. Not that that's a bad thing. Something that possibly IS a bad thing is it sounds way too similar to Sorry Doesn't Help and virtually IDENTICAL in the opening bars to Something is Squeezing my Skull. They REALLY like that bass line don't they? Anyhoo. This song did nothing for me at first but has definitely gone up in my estimation. The lyrics 'It's been so, all of my life, why change now? IT HASN'T!' are ridiclous, but it becomes compulsive to shout 'IT HASN'T!' at random things after listening to this a few times. It has a kind of Sorrow Will Come in The End amusement factor to it (lawyer! liar!) I like it when he does silly talky bits. I have no idea WHY he does them, but they are funny.
These lyrics, however, are unforgivable: 'then came an arm around my shoulder, well surely the hand holds a revolver'. Please! Revolver sounds clunky beyond words, and doesn't even rhyme with bloody shoulder. Morrissey, you might as well have stuck 'shoehorn' in there. It hasnt! And also, it doesn't disturb me that you're OK by yourself, I KNOW you like being by yourself! Now stop playing up or you're not getting any sweets.
Interestingly, the song ends in a Bright-Eyesey (yes I have used that twice now, but this is in a positive sense) wall of feedback/ vocoder action. I like it! It's all yodelly/ screamy/ guitary. There should have been lots more of that on the album, it really works. And as such, is a fine ending.
The album does have a kind of raw, live feeling to it, which is really effective, as I think Ringleaders was too over-produced (will he ever do Pigsty without that bloody rain???) I think I like the rocky stuff more than the poppy stuff, but I like the outside the box stuff 'Mama/ Birthday' more than anything. When he really challenges himself, it works beautifully.
I have only read a couple of reviews of Refusal (I like to decide for myself before having other people's opinions foisted upon me) but the 'it sounds like Vauxhall/ Quarry/ Ringleaders' stuff is misleading. It doesn't. At first I was worried it was a bit Ringleaders-ey but really, Ringleaders had one brilliant song on it (two at a push). This album is more well-rounded, more varied (despite my complaints), and I won't mind him hammering it so much on tour.
He's still with us. We will miss him when he's gone. So let's appreciate him NOW. Give him some Moz love.
PS: I look forward to hearing the b-sides & most of all, the giggage.

Review: The Whitest Boy Alive at Koko

Last night I went to see the interestingly-named German band The Whitest Boy Alive at Koko (that’s the Camden Palace to anyone not 16). I had heard of the band, but had actually got them confused Black Kids (does this make me racist or just stupid?) My friend had a free ticket due to her male friends dropping out because of the football zzzzzz) So I went along for instead. My friend’s friend (who was black and also a last-minute recruit) cracked me up when she heard the name of the band and went ‘Am I going to be lynched?’
Luckily, the band turned out not to be Nazi death-metal, but had a jazzy/ techno vibe going on instead. I know, that sounds worse. But actually it wasn’t too bad. I thought they sounded a bit like Air in parts.
Koko was rammed, so people really like this stuff, but it lacked the punch of a real gig for me. I wanted some screaming, or at least some sweating. The closest we got was a cover of some old 90s trance song (the name has eluded me because my friend’s dad had bought me five vodkas by that point). I think the band were competent musicians but it all had a bit of a soft porn vibe for me.
The encore appeared to be a cover of ‘It’s gonna be a lovely day’ or whatever that song is called, so I think you’re getting an idea of the tone of the gig now- word of the night was mellow. I think my friends dad summed it up best when he said, ‘you might as well stay at home and listen to it on the radio.’ It’s true, the visuals weren’t brilliant, some afro-ed Germans and that was about it. They weren’t exactly showmen.
Having said ALL of this, I was utterly in the minority, my friend (and her friend who’d never heard of them before) absolutely loved it and were dancing the night away playing air-bass (!). A good time was had by all- even (begrudgingly) me.

Film Review: Super High Me

You can probably hazard a guess what this is about. Stand-up comedian Doug Benson saw Super Size Me whilst stoned and decided to get stoned for 30 days on the trot. A minor flaw perhaps, was he already seemed to spend his entire life stoned, so had to go cold turkey for a month beforehand. Slightly unscientific considering he gave up booze too, so perhaps any health benefits could be attributed to that as well. Although to be honest, there weren't that many. No, actually that's not true; a the start of the film he looked like he could barely open his eyes he was so stoned, and his skin did look a lot better after three weeks off it.
The film ripped off quite a bit of Super Size Me, from the visits to the doctors, the psychiatrist, and the dope shop (oh, that bit was different). I was quite surprised that medical marijuana is actually legal in California (although what Doug's excuse for getting it was, I had no idea). They had a dope shop like in Amsterdam, although federal law beats state law (and dope is still illegal according to federal law) and they kept coming and raiding it. There was a serious point to be made here, that cannabis does have some pain-relieving value and some people genuinely do use it for that reason (and why shouldn't they, it is a plant after all, it's natural). I really don't understand all the legal wrangling about dope- it is fairly harmless (unless you find sleepy zombies threatening, I personally like my zombies very sleepy) and would make a fortune for governments if they legalised it (a billion dollars a year in America). Maybe the economy would collapse because everyone was so stoned, but I doubt it.
The film was also interspersed with Doug's stand-up comedy which was quite hit and miss but has some funny bits. There was something mildly tragic about this man clearly approaching middle-age acting like a 16 year old stoner, but there was something kind of admirable about it too. I guess if you want to behave like a teenager forever, being a stand-up comedian is the right job for you.
So in the high month he smoked dope all day (mainly through a vapouriser) and became more psychic (!), couldn't do simple maths and put on 8 pounds (the munchies!)
Probably the best part was that after all that you'd think he'd give up, at least for a while, but the first thing he did after the 30 days were up was light another spliff! Literally no moral to the story whatsoever. Perfect.
What I liked about this film was that if this story about smoking dope had been an investigation in the Daily Mail ('my drug hell') where some straight journalist would have done it for 30 days, by the end they would have been having psychotic visions, stabbing their neighbour and moving onto mainlining heroin. In reality, all dope-heads do is sit around smoking, giggling a bit and eating. Forever. And that's about it.

Review: Wii Fit

Bloody hell, it was enough of a workout dragging this ginormous box home from Argos Extra in Haringey (it don't get glammer than that, folks) the only place on earth that appeared to have the hallowed Wii Fit in stock. After I had a Mcdonalds and a little rest, I finally fought my way into the box, which again, was more exercise than I get in a year.
As a massive cyber slap in the face, the Wii balance board weighs you in front of your friends, lovers, or family. So normally you lie about how much you weigh, and then here it is, right in your face. To add insult to injury, it declared I was almost obese, then made my little Mii character all fat! I am NOT that shape, like a little tubby flat-chested pre-boob job Sonia Jackson! Fuck you, Nintendo. The good part is, this is so humiliating, it make you want to work out. It also said my fitness age was 31, which was not too bad, really, considering how fucking lazy I am.
I was looking forward to my boyfriend getting humilated as I did, and instead it declared his weight IDEAL! Ideal? SULK! Oh the bright side, it said his fitness age was 41 hehe. So the pain and embarrassment evened out.
Well, I'm happy to report it was all worth it. Wii Fit does the impossible, makes exercising FUN. Yes, you heard that right, from ME! Fucking hell. I remember hoping they'd invent this sort of game decades ago, and now here it is. I love having all my little Mii characters like Morrissey, Conor, Eminem and all my mates joining me for a step class. It's soooo good. The jogging was particularly good and hard (having boobs is definitely a disadvantage). I enjoyed the hula hooping too although I was shit at it. Probably the hardest things are the stuff like push-ups and yoga- feel the burn (sob). I liked the wiggly ball thing, that was good. It's like playing tetris with your body, which sounds sort of rude.
So will I stick at it? Fuck knows, I had a curly-whirly halfway through. But you know, I'll TRY! It's better than nothing, right?
In conclusion, I can't believe I paid £70 to get told I'm fat. It's brilliant. God bless the Japenese.

Review: Mario Kart Wii

I grew up with Mario Kart. I can still remember the front room of my house being full of smoke and teenage boys and cups of tea as my brothers and their mates played it on the N64 and would let me play every now and then. Years later Mario Kart: Double Dash for the Gamecube was a bit of a letdown but me and MY friends still played the hell out of it for... years. I was playing it up to this year. You either get the whole Nintendo thing or you don't, and I had it ingrained in me, like chip shops and britpop.
So it was with trepidation and excitement I approached Mario Kart Wii, fearful they might have fucked up something so precious again. But what do you know... they've cracked it! It's fucking ace. It really feels like they care about the characters and the gameplay again and they've listened to the previous fans grumblings.
I was scared of the wheel, but it's really good fun. Having said that, we've played it without (with the gamecube controllers) and it's about 5 million times easier. But the wheel is nuts. The tracks are wicked as well. The new tracks are brilliant- it's crazy time, driving up the walls, weird acid-like trips in Bowser's castle, and more mushrooms than you can shake a stick at. I LOVE the snowy track, and the leafy track (I'm not looking up the names! What am I, a boy?) Another great aspect though, is they have revived a bunch of old tracks from various Nintendo formats. So you get the proper nostalgia trip. How weird is it that your brain still remembers it's way around a track from ten years before? Why would your brain store that information? It's like hearing an old song- and you're there. It's a really nice touch.
What else? The characters are good, the karts are good, the bikes are good. As usual, it's bloody hard, and bloody unfair in the extreme, but I like some of the new power-ups, the bullet thing is good if you're in last place, and the squid thing that goes all over your opponents screen is pretty funny.
Can someone tell me how to hook the Wii up to the internet cos we don't have a clue here. I want to play the world!
Mario is back, back, back! Luigi can still fuck off though.
PS. I can't wait for Wii Fitness! Surely I'll go on it more than once if I fork out £70?

Russell Brand: My Booky Wook

I'm not much one for autobiographies normally, they're kind of a mum thing, aren't they? But I read this pretty fast for me. I have got a bit of a Russell obsession at the moment... I can't stop listening to his radio 2 podcasts. They have cheered up my journey to and from work no end. Not so keen on his stand up though... I find it a bit contrived. I think he's best off the cuff. He's just naturally very quick and funny.
So, the Booky Wook. The language it's written in seemed heavily Russell-fied at first, almost labouredly so, yet by the end, it seemed to be written in perfectly plain English, so either he relaxed a little, or you just became totally immersed in his world. Personally, I find his phrasing of things quite amusing, and I enjoy his surreal take on life. For a book that covers a whole spectrum of human horror, it's told in such a jaunty manner that you may as well have just been told an overly-long dirty joke.
I think at times I found myself wanting more information about something, maybe wanting to know more about how he felt after he hit the big time, or how it really felt coming OFF heroin. I mean it wasn't exactly 'A Million Little Pieces'- Russell just went in and conquered it, and merrily went on with life. The flippancy of the narrative style engaging and funny, but I also felt like he was skirting over massive, massive aspects of things that would have been interesting to delve further into (but I don't think that was the sort of book Russell wanted to write). But he should be applauded for conquering his demons, it can't have been easy.
I think my favourite chapter was where he detailed the truth about the horror of his heroin addiction, the places he went to, the people he hung around with, the lengths that he would basically stoop to. It just felt genuinely honest, and I could picture the scene with ease. It felt like it could be my world, or a friends world, pretty easily. I also liked the bit where he told Ricky Gervais a story about sleeping with two obese hookers and Ricky hung up on him.
Russell Brand has done some AWFUL things... things you wouldn't even want to admit to. He's been a disgraceful human being in many ways. The way he treats women (or has in the past) is pretty outrageous, let's be honest. But he never really apologises, or asks why. And I quite like that. It's almost as if all the stuff that happens to him is out of his control.
Anyway, he's unspeakably smart, and he has good taste (Morrissey!)
But I think he's still searching for something. Anyone who needs to sleep with that many people just to prove themselves attractive is obviously missing something. I don't think he's that bothered though. Will he settle down and behave? I think it's pretty unlikely.
PS. I wish I knew if my bus was coming or not. I wish I had half that self-belief.

Review: Patrick Wolf Live at Shepherds Bush Empire

Oh yes. The last time I was in Shepherds Bush empire it was to see my OTHER gorgeous jug-eared songwriting-genius Conor Oberst. But tonight it was our very own Patrick Wolf, doing a homecoming/ Christmas gig after a year which saw him splashed over just about everything and probably physically exhausted. We arrived very early (about 6.40) and already the queue was enormous. We were quite surprised, we thought the Bright Eyes turn-out would have been better (I don't know why, I always think Patrick Wolf is quite cult, but I guess he's not anymore).
As is par for the course for the gigs we go to, the queue consisted mainly of 16 year old girls so we felt very old. Still, it's not enough to make me start liking something shit so I'll grin and bear it.
We queued for YONKS and eventually got in, standing, about three rows back from the front. We were quite lucky at first because we seemed to have 25 girl midgets standing in front of us. The atmosphere appeared to be one of serenity, with them administering glittery dandruff on each other and blowing bubbles. It was like Spongebob and Patrick's wet dream. I though we were in for a quiet, relaxing night. But not so.
For the first half hour Patrick performed an acoustic set, which was lovely. He looked AMAZING (see our photo!) and had a fabulous blackbird in his hair like a hat. I also like to wear a bird in my hair at Christmas, so I'm clearly on the ball.
I was a bit annoyed at first because a lot of people were joking and talking through the first song which was pretty annoying, but they actually stopped after that. Some of the songs I didn't know, but I love hearing new stuff from him live and hearing him play the piano. He also played Wolf Song and The Marriage and Bishi came on looking very cool.
It was in between this mellow set and his main set that the trouble started, with the crowd becoming really busy and lots of people pushing forwards. I really didn't think people would be that rowdy at Wolfy, it was a lot mellower at Bright Eyes. Unfortunately I suffer from claustrophobia in crowds, and it was getting a bit TOO crowded for me (we were very central). I literally couldn't move my arms or legs and certainly couldn't dance. The moronic girls behind singing fucking Disney songs didn't help (yeah bah humbug, I'm old, just pipe down).
Anyway, Patrick came back on and did Overture. This was the end of my time at the front, as the guy behind me's double whammy of virtually sticking his dick in my back whilst tunelessly bellowing in my ear was enough for me. I came to hear Patrick sing, not this spotty twonk (it's hard to believe people like this could be Patrick Wolf fans). But if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's if someone is annoying you at a gig, move. They are the only thing you'll remember otherwise. Not everyone is an inconsiderate prick.
I left my boyfriend behind and I worked my way backwards a bit, to the bar on the right hand side, which actually wasn't that far back. Here I treated myself to a double vodka and lemonade, breaking my usual no drink rule (I have a weak bladder!) I was great by the bar, I could still see a lot and I could dance. The best part was Patrick threw himself into the crowd and ended up right next to me! He seemed to have lost his shoes. I was reminded of the 'all crowd surfers will be removed sign' but I don't think it applied to Patrick as he is half-elf and can do what the fuck he likes.
Setlist highlights: Bluebells, Get Lost, The Lighthouse, Tristan, the Libertine. Also the two new songs Vulture and Hard Times sounded absolutely amazing. I can't wait to hear the studio versions.
Another great moment was when Patrick crawled up the speakers on the opposite side to me and was singing Bloodbeat and dropped in a bit of 'Bleeding Love' by Leona and 'Gimme More' by Britney. Patrick is such a diva! He also sported a very Who-ville style quiff when he came back on.
Before the encore I spotted my boyfriend again and went back into the thick of it (but not quite so near the front- whoever thought I'd be pushed out of a Patrick Wolf moshpit?) Patrick seemed somewhat tiddly when he returned and was dressed as a giant Santa Claus/ snowball/ bauble. God bless him. He did a flawless version of Accident and Emergency and then a fantastic Boy Like Me (two dogs, two cats, a big kitchen and a welcome mat!). It was great because we were closer but there was still room to dance, and a really good atmosphere, unlike earlier when people were being knobs.
The finale of The Magic Position was brilliant, I loved the snow! The Magic Position is still the happiest song ever. The best lyrics. Patrick definitely seemed half-cut at the end, ramblingly introducing his band members and discussing the merits of the chicken shops of Shepherds Bush before going off to a couple of lines from 'Rocking Around the Christmas tree'. I would have loved one more song, but that's only because I'm greedy. He didn't play the piano so much and I love some of the piano-led ones like The Stars. But all in all, fabulous.
Any grumbles about the gig were to do with the crowd, not the Wolf. He is truly unique and very special, with a fantastic voice, incredibly versatile and puts on a very different, yet exciting show every time I see him. We are lucky to have him. It was a glittery, sparkling start to Christmas.

Review: Fast Food Nation

I watched Fast Food Nation last night which I'd been wanting to see for quite a while. I knew it was based on a factual book about the fast food industry but they could have written some sort of storyline for it. It felt like it'd been thrown together in about five minutes.
It's a shame because the greed and cruelty of the meat industry is obviously something worth highlighting, but it just wasn't done in a very creative way. The storyline about the Mexicans who worked in the meat factory was a bit depressing, to say the least (I know that's the point, but God! There's only so much I can take).
So let's talk cameos. Whilst I don't mind getting a lecture off of Ethan Hawke (he could say anything and I'd just drool gormlessly) I resent getting one off Avril 'rat face' Lavigne. There was something really 'worthy' about the dialogue between the teenage 'eco-activists' that was just wholly unappealing. The characters were so cliched. It's a shame because Richard Linklater films seems to tread a very fine line between moving brilliance (Before Sunrise/ Sunset) and arsey pretension (Waking Life).
Bruce Willis was pretty good, and I liked the pairing of Ethan and Patricia Arquette as brother and sister, but that's juts because they are my favourite actors. There was no resolution to the film either(because there won't be one in reality, yeah, I get it) which was also frustrating.
The scenes in the slaughterhouse were particularly unpalatable (obviously). I could have just about stood them if the storyline had been a bit more satisfying but as it was, I was just mildly horrified.
I wish so much that I could be a vegetarian. But as I only eat ten things in the world (and no vegetables) it's pretty difficult. My vegetarian diet would just consist of chips and bread. Still: I feel very guilty about eating meat. It is morally unjustifiable no matter what way you dress it up.
I think things will change very gradually. Maybe in a thousand years meat-eating will seem as abhorrent as smoking crack. In the meantime, if this film makes one person give up their Maccy D's and KFC, then that's great. Unfortunately, it won't be me.

Review: 28 Weeks Later

I'm normally pretty hard, I'm not scared of rollercoasters or hoodies, but I watched 28 Weeks Later last night and was flat out terrified. I'm not really sure how to describe the horror without ruining it, so I won't go into details but BLOODY HELL! Is there any need for such gratuitous horror?
How could a film encompass a character MORE scary than Begbie? This one managed it. I don't think I can look at Robert Carlyle again. Fucking hell. I felt physically sick at some parts of this film. The bit with the wife... the bit where they are all locked up in the basement, the snipers, the tube... (after a tiny slow start) it was just relentless. The music is so creepy as well. The only respite was when they went to Regents Park, which is my local park so I enjoyed that. That is something very cool about watching films set in London when you live in London, and they did a tour of all it's finest landmarks. Don't ask me how they managed to squeeze Wembley Stadium in, it's miles away from the river. But the Yanks won't know, will they? How cool does the Thames look when you can see all its wiggly glory from a helicopter (and not from the Eastenders credits)? I'm not normally very excited about living in London but it when you see it blown to bits and over run by zombies you start to feel a little setimental.
This film was a lot pacier than the first (why is it underlining pacier, that is a fucking word, stupid dictionary from hell) with none of the ridiculous war/Doctor Who crapness. The shaky camera angles when people are getting it are a blessed relief because I don't even want to see. I was hiding behind a cushion. The ending might as well have got on a rooftop and screamed 'SEQUEL!' Oh it's not a sequel if it's the third, is it. What is it? I've forgotten. Anyway. It's all good stuff, so watch it. You probably have already, we're just downloading stuff at the mo so it's a random mixture of old and newness.