Sunday, 8 January 2017

Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Sunday Best

The new fab Macca
Evening! Eight days into the year and I'm still half dead. Still, here we go.
Sexual themes! Ooh. Oh it's gonna be Jasmine and the two bores. That is NOT sexual. Jedward in the bath their previous time on CBB: now THAT was sexual. (OK, I'm sick, forgive me)
Jamie is coming off as such a creep leering over Jasmine doing her exercise and getting jealous of a Jedward.
Austin and Spencer are having a war about keeping the door open or shut. James Jordan is pouring fuel on the fire. Who's going to throw the first punch? And more importantly, why is Spencer wearing a bright pink hoodie? It has shades of Daley's salmon 'aggressive' ejected hoodie.
OMG Spencer bingewatched Jedward's series. Yes! He always does his research.
I don't think James and Spencer meshing their names together works. Now Nicola is opening the door. Now James Jordan is piping up. James Jordan is ruining the Austin vs Speidi war by existing. He can't cut it in the villian stakes. He's just monotone and really fucking dull. I really feel sorry for his wife.
Jedward have their hair different. I think I can tell them apart now. John has more of a pointy face and he's more brainy (relatively).
Secret task! And not even 'the real task is...' What, they have to eat pizza without Bianca noticing? What sort of task is this.
I like Stacy saying she gets horny and 'can't take care of herself.' Good diversion tactic .
The housemates all huddled behind a sofa eating pizza. I can't imagine Spencer and Heidi being down for that with their germophobia. You think Bianca could smell it?
I love Jedward giving Austin pizza out of his pocket and Austin took it! Haha.
James Jordan: 'Women should not be sleeping with younger men.' Shut up. He's just making shit up to cause trouble. Called it!
James C has to bring a pony through the house so Bianca doesn't notice. Angie is doing a good diversion tactic with the meditating.
'I am the Lord Commander... and this is my steed.' Tony the Pony probably preferred working with James C than the GC.
Brandon is doing a secret rave in the snug... and has pigtails. Interesting. Spencer: 'Does this work?' about the decks. Brandon: 'No.' He's still going for it, though.
Is Austin fake crying for the task or real crying? Oh fake crying! Austin: 'I'm fat and I smoke and I eat shit.' Lol. I loved his 'don't move, I've got a surprise for you.' This is the Austin we like.
Jedward are workshopping their best bits already. Don't worry, you'll have plenty more to come!
I liked that task, it was fun. Like a classic BBUK task.
More takeaway as a reward! Don't tell Angie.
Stacy is feeling horny but no one is up for it, appaz. Maybe she could fuck Jedward. Oh she fancies Calum! And Brandon!? WTF. 'You know he will pull your hair.' OMG. Is Brandon attached? I fear for him. How can you fancy him with those teeth, though. Yuck. Plus his hair! He looks like a tramp.
James Jordan wiggling his bum is so unsexy. Ah, the others calling him camp as fuck, ha.
The music they're playing for the party is fucking awful.
Calum to his mum: 'When you dance like that it's totally fine.' The fact you needed to say that tells me otherwise.
I love Big Brother giving them a shitstir task to ruin the day. James told Jamie to grow some balls ie. molest Jasmine.
Ooh, Nicola and Jasmine locking horns. Oh God, Coleen has to do a lapdance. Jesus. Coleen wiggling her bum at Calum, OMG. Why is everyone covered in glitter?
Spencer asking Jasmine to choose between Calum and Jamie, brilliant. And she chose Calum! Jamie was all red in the face! Ouch.
Coleen fancying Calum is so grim. 'Calum's the one night stand and Jamie is for a relationship.' LOL at Calum stomping off. What a knobend. Stacy is going to try and pounce on Calum.
Calum was right snitty with Stacy as well. You're not all that Calum! You look like a potato. There is a real hottie shortage in there. Austin is a million times sexier than Calum.
Everyone is alluding to who they're going to nominate. Spencer: 'That game has changed my whole nomination schedule.' I like the fact he has a nominations schedule.
Coleen now telling Jasmine she leads Jamie on. Coleen just wants Calum for herself.
Jasmine doesn't want to mess with Jamie cos of his kids and the ex, known racist Danielle Lloyd. I mean, who would want to take that on? Grim. Coleen doesn't want the public thinking Jasmine is a player, even if Coleen thinks it.
All the celebs vaping this year. I remember when they could smoke inside the house. Spencer's gold vape looks fancy. 
God, Calum trying to autocorrect his image so bad. Most people just think you're a boring twat not a fanny rat, don't worry about it, mate. I thought you were gonna let loose in the house this time? I didn't realise what that entailed was throwing little hissy fits like a big old baby. He is getting WAY too much airtime. More Jedward, please.

1 comment:

Arif Ramzan said...

Is the edited housemates thing finished ? As they not wearing he old rag
I like Janes C .
James J has a big loud gob - more like he likes stirring without being the one who gets the flak from others . He's time will come .