Monday, 9 January 2017

Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Footballers' wives

Her hair still looks good at least
Hi! I made some podcast notes today. Just a few. It's a start.
Ooh, nominations! And I don't know who's up! I know Jedward are immune though. Happy days!
Bianca's eyelashes are more 'evening out' than 'breakfast time'. I hope they have enough hairspray in that house to keep Jedward's quiffs afloat.
Oh God, not this one night stand bullshit with Calum again. Calum works his arse off to not be the person he actually is, despite calling himself a 'red blooded male' in his VT. What does 'red blooded male' mean? All humans (even us delicate ladies!) have red blood. I assumed it to mean 'fanny rat' and still do unless I hear otherwise.
Bit crap that half the people can't nominate this week. I like seeing the nominations! We're the ones getting jibbed by the dumb edited out task.
Calum nominated Stacy for being loud (ie. black). And Speidi for being entertaining (I mean, pushing buttons.)
Jasmine nommed Stacy as well for asking 'personal questions'. Jasmine wouldn't have got on well with Perez then. Jasmine also nominated Brandon for 'not being fun' and if she was alone with him she'd have to stick her thumb up her arse. Whatever floats your boat.
Jamie nommed James J for saying he has no balls, even though he doesn't, and Stacy for being loud (ie. black).
James Jordan nominated Stacy for being 'fiery' and Austin (boo!) I'm surprised Austin didn't cop more votes so far, tbh. James J: 'I don't want to hurt his feelings at the moment.' At the moment!
Jedward on the pile of cushions is fun. Sorting out their packages too, oo-er.
Brandon is brushing his teeth. That's gonna take a while.
Jasmine not allowed to put her hand on people's legs now? WTF is this! You should know better, Austin. Look at the way you were with James Hill! (Which was amazing)
Apparently Jedward are throwing orange peel on the floor. Calum: 'They live in a bubble.' Nicola is about to shred it.
I love the way Jedward diffused the situation with a Jed-hug, lol. They never cared.
Haha, now Edward is annoying Angie's meditation session. She looks like she's gonna kill him!
Even if Jedward have been told to act up by the producers, I don't care! It's entertaining.
Jamie is doing some 'locker room talk'. What a dick this guy is. That's the sort of story you don't admit on TV.
Ooh, nominations are still going on. Coleen nominated Ray J. Curveball. And Angie! Not really surprised. Why would you feel guilty about eating in front of Angie? Fuck her! It's up to you what you eat.
Nicola nominated Ray J for sleeping too much (cop out) and Angie for going on about food nutrition (good). I'm glad Angie's copping some.
Jedward nommed Austin for 'going from a pancake to a gargoyle.' And Jasmine also for being all over the place. 'One second she's happy, the next second she's asleep'. Just like everyone on earth.
There's been quite a spread of noms. I like James Jordan being mummified. I want coloured loo roll, and cool colours, not just pastels. Where can I get them?
Austin nominated Stacy and Speidi. I love the way Austin says 'dickheads.'
Angie nommed Speidi because Spencer said he was going to win it (ha) and for antagonising. True. And Austin! Boo. She's nomming all the entertainment. 'Austin is on the emotional edge.' True. He does turn. I hate an angry drunk.
Speidi nommed Austin for yelling at Heidi and making her feel scared (bitch, please) and Biana for taking water off them and for giving Heidi dirty looks, haha. I wish this were true but I suspect it's just a figment of their fevered imagination (yes, they share one between them).
Stacy bragging about fucking Wesley Snipes, haha. 'He has the biggest penis I've ever seen in my life.' Thanks for that.
James C is shocked with the self obsession about looks and appearance. He's concerned about his career. Why has he done it then! 'I'm nearly 70, should I be caring.' Coleen: 'I don't think this takes away from you being a fantastic actor.' True. I'm glad he's enjoying it. I wonder how much he got paid?
So up for eviction are Stacy, Austin, Speidi, Ray J, Angie and of course, James C. I wouldn't be surprised if Ray J goes, he's so dull. I hope Angie goes.
Big Brother is telling them how many noms each person got. Austin is fuming cos he got four and Speidi got 3.
Calum: 'I can't believe you only got three.' to Speidi. Hilarious.
Calum explaining the rules to his ma. I bet he's secretly hoping she goes too, bhahaha.
How are James Jordan and Coleen not up? They're so annoying!
Spencer on Austin: 'As long as he keeps drinking he's one step away from snapping.' So insightful and so accurate.
Austin is mad cos he's the 'third most disliked in the house.' No medals for that.
Bianca is annoyed about being called 'Bionka.' I think I'd like it if an American mispronounced my name. Austin is more American than ever. Is he not living in Yorkshire anymore? Austin is drunk and disorderly. Is he one sip away though? Bianca must be running out of patience with him. I am, and I like him! I think Austin could have a 'Nadia on BB All stars' type eviction coming up, and that will crush him.
Austin is in his undies now he's on the block. Austin: 'I feel like you're up Ray's arse' to Stacy. Ha, Austin calling someone else loud. Pot, kettle, black.
Austin's body is still hot! They just need to do that task where they make him mute again. I can see the head of his penis in those pants.
Nicola seems a bit sweet on Jamie. I think she's drunk. She's putting hands on legs! SLUT etc. Sigh.
What can't chubby, old James Jordan deal with, Austin's ding dong? Jealous!
Nicola is SHIT FACED. OMG. Jamie said 'I've got your back, I love you.' But he has 'too much respect for his bruv' to kiss her. Sexist terminology (ie. she's owned by another man otherwise he would) and I give it two days before he cracks.
Nicola is gurning! What are they drinking in there, crystal meth? Now she's trying to snog Calum. Fucking hell, this is awkward. Someone put her to bed. Don't let her sit there doing that while everyone looks. It's entertaining, but it shouldn't be entertainment.
'I know her husband' isn't much defence in this or any situation.
James Jordan is the only one who tried to put her to bed. I actually respect him for that.
Nicola reminds me of me when I was at my friend Dawns and ended up with one contact lens just stick to the outside of the case.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually feel sorry for Nicola (and her hangover). Imagine watching that back. She won't even remember it! The trolls are already rubbing their hands in glee, gloating about divorce. Well her husband already cheated, so lets not get it twisted.
Vote to save! Woo. I'm gonna VTS Austin cos I still love him and I would hate to see him go first.
Hopefully pod tomorrow if I'm up to it? Night!

4 comments:

Arif Ramzan said...

It's a lame excuse for some of the housemates nominating Stacy . They might as well say coz she is black . I doubt big brother would allow that to be aired .
Can't be alcohol Nicola is drinking as she's all over the place .
I'm glad big bro have given a week for the 1st nominations to take place - well without a twist - I'm surprised about that .
Look forward to your podcast . I'm guessing your voice is getting back to normality : )

Paul said...

I refuse to like James Jordan. He's been quiet this series but you can see his cuntness simmering under the surface. Look forward to your podcast!

n.k. said...

My first nomination Is Stacy (A) shes black (B) Shes female and (C) Colleen said she held Whitneys head under!

Malebolge said...

Can't believe that mess Colleen Nolan isn't up. They should show her lap-dancing at sex addiction therapy sessions. Shame Stacey is - she needs to stay in for little gems such as the size of Wesley Snipes's cock. All we get from Colleen is a mix of tears, bitchiness, poor me poor me I'm a victim and more bitchiness. Want Angie to stay in too - can't stand her but at least I can switch her off. They can't. I want to see her irritate people more.