Where is Marco/ Andrew and the twins? I miss when the old housemates used to strut down the stage. I guess there's too many now.
Jason has smiled more in the past 6 weeks than he has in the past few years. He should tell his face.
Why are they bothering to 'interview' Sam and Alex? Who gives a fuck. 'No ones seen us.' Cos you're shit. Alex getting lightly grilled on Evelyn. 'Mugging a bird off'. Charming. You did, by the way, mug her off. Hope the funeral eulogy is worth it. Also, those shoes.
Bet the two women go in the two by two eviction. I knew it! Jayne and Evelyn both look lovely. Four men in the final! That is some bullshit. Sexist dicks. At least people didn't boo when they came out. I think.
Emma's like 'there there ladies for making it to the final'. 5th and 6th place. Not that great, is it? Jayne and Nikki need a spin off show.
Emma is not letting Evelyn speak. Evelyn still thinks Alex is genuine. Seriously. Did they ever even snog? Ah, Jayne's best bits were good. Top DRs.
OMG I wish I'd voted for Andy now. He didn't deserve to go out in fourth. CHVRCHES for his eviction song. Cool. How did Jackson and Jason get more votes? Will no one think of Lateysha?
Emma: 'There's half a percent between the top two.' That old chestnut!
Andy missed high brow conversations in the house, like that time he was in that lift with Lady Gaga. What a snob. I note the rat is there to greet him.
Hughie looks orange, Jackson looks 80s and Jason looks like he's going to a wedding.
Omg Jackson out next. Imagine if Jason wins? Emma says there's half a percent in it. Do you believe her? I've voted twice. Don't think I can do much more.
In a way I half admire Jackson's 'extra an mid-80s Madonna video' style. Georgina looks ropey, to be honest. I like the way Jackson spoke about her. Even if it's just magazine-deal-itis, it's nice to ha someone speak about you like that (I'd imagine).
Seriously, how did Jason win! Hughie would have been SUCH a good winner. Would have been so fun. He's such a lush person. He was ROBBED! Sooooo depressing.
Hughie: 'If I'm honest, I don't think one person thought he was going to win.' Haaaa!
Aw Ryan. Ha, his tattoo. Lol. Omg when Hughie said he wanted to make a go of it with Ryan I cried. I haven't felt this optimistic about a BB showmance since Steph and Jeremy. Oh...
Your winner.... Jason! All that gameplanning finally paid off. Has anyone taken a look at Charlie's phone bill? So the lesson here is steal 20k off people and you win? What's the moral of that story? Who actually voted for Jason? Was it Chelsea? It's like Brexit all over again: it makes NO FUCKING SENSE.
We never, ever get the winner we deserve.
PS: Big Brother Bile is on hiatus but enjoy FRANKIE GRANDE in the Big Brother house. We've got podcasts galore about that cunt. It's been a shit 2016 and so far, this has been the icing on the cake (Jason winning, not Frankie Grande, who I'm sure I'll enjoy seeing befriending Biggins.)
I'll be back when I've got a new laptop. Cheers for reading.