Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Big Brother UK 2016: You're the king of chatting shit

Today is Sam's birthday. Sam who? Indeed. When he was 13 back in 1975 he dreamt of being on Big Brother, which didn't even exist then. Nostradamus. It was nice to see him smile in the DR, though. I never see him smile, just his perma-furrowed prematurely-aged brow. I thought the haircut he gave to Jason was good, though. I'd put it in the top 10 best BB haircuts.
Laura to Evelyn: 'Did anything else happen other than kissing.' No belts were put around necks, Laura. Even kissing didn't happen. Embarrassing. Evelyn is coming off seriously desperate at this point.
Final nominations! Woo. Apparently there's a twist. I hope it's something useful and not dumb. 
Laura and Evelyn want Hughie to win and NOT Jackson. Agree.
'Hughie has cast Jackson in his fictional aftershave advert.' Those are the words I've been waiting to hear. SWASH! (That's for Nic)
Vinnie Jones - sorry, Jason - is making roast potatoes for all of his housemates (on nomination day).
I love Laura and Evelyn talking alliances, describing themselves as a threat and saying they've 'sussed Jackson out.'
I don't like the fact we have to watch the face to face noms WITH the housemates. We should see them first!
Laura nommed Alex (yes) and Jackson (double yes). They both took it well.
OMG Jackson nominated JASON (for eviction Lateysha). This is going to go down like Ryan after a fish guts bender. He also nommed Evelyn! Pointless. Waste of a vote. I like her red lipstick, though.
Sam nommed Jason (after cutting his hair, too!) I'm glad the Lateysha backlash is here. And Laura for talking about him once.
Evelyn is admiring the way she looks in the DR. Good to be confident, isn't it? She nommed Jackson and Jason. Jackson did not take it too well. I wonder if Alex minds being called 'Evelyn's boyfriend.' Evelyn: 'I can nominate whoever I like.' Damn right. Jackson: 'Who you talking to like that?' You, you div.
Jason nommed Jayne and Laura. No one is nomming Hughie! Yay. Alex nommed Laura and Jayne. Jayne is peed off.
Jayne nommed Jason (for being sullen) and Jackson for being ageist. Jayne looks good tonight, a bit tanned.
Hughie nommed Jason and Andy. Woah, Andy's first nomination this week. Insane. Andy nommed Laura for 'mixing drinks into fishbowls' and Hughie 'for making him feel uncomfortable, sad and lonely.' Hughie agrees with the nom. Laura is mad about fishbowl noms.
Up is: Jason, Laura, Jackson and Jayne. But there's a twist! One of the housemates will be saved. How? They're not telling us.
Jason: 'I'll talk to you later' to Jackson. 'I'm fuming.' Jackson doesn't want to stand for this. I'm glad Jackson nommed him. Jackson: 'I'm genuinely scared.' Haha. Gangster pussy.
Evelyn's arse-crack is eating her swimming costume. Laura is crying at the thought of being booed on Friday. Bit dramatic. Is it vote to evict? Jason will go.
Haha Jason is 'disappointed' in Jackson. It's like he's drafting the emotional blackmail handbook.
Evelyn on the idiot general public to Laura: 'They're nothing. You're never going to see them again.' Correct. Just like Bernardo.
Jayne has a good body, you know. Her arse is decent.
Jackson finds something 'an ickle bit strange.' I don't like him saying 'shut the fuck up' to Evelyn. Rude. Oh no, Jason agreed with me. I take that back.
Evelyn: 'You're the king of chatting shit' to Jackson. Haaaaa. Seems like Jackson has been caught out to me, and I've forgotten what they're even arguing about.
Hughie crying in the DR, aw. He's a bit lost without Ryan. He's 'drained to death by the same conversations.' ME TOO!
Sam is right, Jason feels soooooo sorry for himself. You won 20K. Fuck you.
Jayne is now boowooing in the DR. Aw, she's upset with Alex nomming her.
Jackson: 'I made a mistake to Jason.' Ooh. I wonder if he really believes that or not? Jason seemed quite happy to make friends, make friends, never never break friends.
Sam got a jar of mayonnaise off BB for his alleged 24th birthday.
Ooh I like Jackson's shirt. Jackson's clothes are literally half eek, half chic. I'm glad in a way Andy didn't nom Jason, cos I don't think he would have handled it well.
Jason: 'I'm an only child.' Jackson: 'I've guessed that.' What? It's not like you were abused as a child. You just got more toys. Boo woo.
Andy felt fantastic not to be nommed. Normal weeks he gets nommed to fuck. He was lucky.
Alex is admitting to Jackson that he old likes Evelyn 'when he's had a fishbowl.' (Jackson's words)
Alex: 'Another gruelling test of my mental and physical strength.' What is? Trying not to sleep with Evelyn? Pretending to be straight? I just don't know. But that conversation was so laddish and oafish. Grim!

1 comment:

Arif Ramzan said...

I also wanted the see the noms before the housemates did . I thought Jason would have nommed Hughie.
Big Brother better not let one of the housemates with many noms get away with it . Leave it be .
I want Sam out - he doesn't deserve to be in it . He's done more or less fuck all.
I reckon Jayne might go if she is still up.