Celebrity Big Brother 2012: Le Situationé

Sorry I'm late, I was watching BBUS and Breaking Bad, both of which were heart-racing rollercoasters of emotion, literally the two best shows on TV bar none. If you're not watching them, you're nuts.
I'm hoping for the same from BBUK. Instead I think I'm going to get a big fat dose of misogyny and the wrong people up for nomination.
If I was Danica I'd be so sick of these men all trying to take a chunk of her. She doesn't OWE THEM anything.
Julian, someone asking you if you're alright is not that awful, even if they are a 'Daily Mail journalist', which she isn't, she just wrote a hit piece or two. £2 a word? That IS nice work if you can get it. Imagine if I got £2 a word for this bullshit. I'd be a millionaire.
Who died and made Julie Queen of the house? The Situation has such a spud-face. What a lucky bastard to be in the position he's in. Julie is DISCUSSING NOMINATIONS as well. 'You're my boy, I've got your back etc'. Come on, we all know what this means.
Don't worry about your continuity on BB, Martin. You're consistently dullsville. Martin IS a bit of a let down, isn't he? He is playing a game, but it's more like bingo than Big Brother.
So let me get this right, it's OK for The Situation to bring back 30 females to a hotel room for sex in fact 'it's really funny', says Daily Mail journalist Samantha Brick. Can't they see what's right in front of their face? Can you imagine if Danica said she had 30 guys in a hotel room? Come on. Imagine it. Imagine how different that conversation would be. Danica says that. Would Samantha find it funny? Don't you feel sick to your stomach at the double standard? In any situation where you're about to call a woman a 'slag' imagine a it's man you're thinking about, and suddenly it's a different story, isn't it? It's so unfair. It's 2012, for fuck's sake, are we still this backward? NEITHER is wrong, incidentally. Webcam bullshit, soft porn, groupies, whatever floats your boat, knock yourself out. Just the double standard is wrong.
Harvey, what a shock nominating Danica. Not your kind of woman? No, you prefer ones you can push around a little more easily, don't you?
Was expecting Coleen to go after both the girls, but she didn't. Nominated Brick for being a Stepford wife. I say if someone wants to be a Stepford wife, let them get on with it. I don't give a fuck. Let's stop judging other women's lifestyle choices, hey, how about that?
Julie and Julian continue to make a great double act, but I'm not buying her for a minute anymore. She's about 20 times faker than Danica.
Harvey's poisoned hug with Coleen, lol.
Rhian, stop nominating Martin, no one is is going to put him up! Ha, she nominated The Sitch for the couch story. Sofa, so good! I couldn't personally give a shit if Sitch burnt down a sofa. He's got 4mil, it's peanuts to him. I couldn't give a shit about that. If he wants to set fire to his money, go for it.
Judo-twonk nominated exactly who you'd expect him to nominate; the girls who won't sleep with him. 'I'd love for her to stay' - nominate someone else, then, prick. I have no time for that little dickhead whatsoever.
Martin didn't nominate Rhian for once. He's peed off with Danica, though. Probably because she's not flirting with him.
Julie is not only telling Sitch who to vote for, she's using the sexist terminology: 'man up'. Is she not going to get called up for this? Blatant nomination talk yesterday and today, and nothing done about it (yet).
Julie: keep your fucking beak out of other people's business! Why do people defend Ashley or even like him, he comes across like a little thug. As for her defending Sitch, why doesn't she go home, stick the Jersey Shore box set, and then go say sorry to Danica. OK, bye.
Oh boo woo, Sitch, Danica doesn't fancy you, tough shit. 'Love of your life' - what's he talking about? I think he's got his Big Brother brain on, as the Irrepressible Dark Horse used to say. 
LOL to Martin and Lorenzo moaning about having to mix with 'club class' (ie. the hoi polloi) on their jets. Way to pick up votes from the high class BB voters (ie. me).
Samantha used to have a Mercedes for her dogs. Is this the 'I've got more money than you' episode? I like Julian's cardigan and nominating Lorenzo for going on about his Harley Davidson.
WTF has it got to do with you what Danica does, Samantha? Mind your own bloody business.
Prince: 'throw me under the bus' - BBUS fighting talk.
So who's up? Danica, Samantha, The Situation and Rhian. I hope Samantha goes, and besides, who would vote to save her? I'm going to vote to save Danica.
Julian is not happy with The Sitch's bragging about getting in fights.Sitch's pretend shocked face about Danica. You nominated 'the love of your life.' No one is comforting him again. I think he's struggling not having people falling at his feet. It's a good life lesson for him that he doesn't have global currency.
Fuck off, Julie, you don't decide who goes home, we do. No one's going to vote to save Samantha except her crazy husband, and isn't he in France?
Julian's bedtime story was the lols. No one could have done that better than him. Aw, I love his doggies. Even Prince looked teary.
We don't care if Samantha has been cooking you meals, that doesn't entertain us. It's of no interest to viewers whatsoever. Remember she said that she wouldn't write about people in the house. Remember it! And then read it in about a week's time. Saturday, is we're lucky.