I'm meant to be at a Halloween party dressed as half of Jedward tonight but I'm still not fully well. So someone else is being John. Or Edward. I'm as interchangeable as they are. Mind you, at the same party last year I drank two bottles of cheap champagne and hurled in the bath, so maybe it's for the best.
I can't really be arsed with Halloween. What's the point? You don't get presents or a day off. I like my holidays self-indulgent.
Liking Simon's fangs! Sexy times. Why aren't Cheryl and Dannii done up goth-style?
Mary has borrowed Alfie's moon for the night. Could it be magic? No.
Aiden 2nd! What is there to look forward to after that? Ooh the guyliner. The clock going backwards. He's not looking up today. I think he's compelling every time he's on that stage. Kept expecting the dancers to move though!
Now Aiden knows how it feels when MEN go 'smile love!' patronisingly to women on the street. Sucks, doesn't it.
Belle Amie sound badly out of tune tonight. Woo! This song isn't spooky. WTF is Simon on?! They were completely out of tune.
Rebecca is doing Chris Isaacs. How is this scary? Is it cos it has the word 'wicked' in it? Should have done Jungle is Massive instead. I like her lipstick. Oh the old 'world class' comment.
Treyc. Take That again- so I guess she can't blame the song if she goes out. I'm not sure if I hate could it be magic more than relight my fire. Don't talk back to Dannii, minion.
Matt is doing Bleeding Love. I've got an indie cover of it, I can't remember who it's by, though. He sounds like he's spluttering all over that mic. Perhaps he's adding in a bit of beatbox. Dannii is being quite fiesty tonight.
Louis still can't get Wagner's name right. This is the song the judges come onto at the start! What's it going to turn into? Bat out of hell! Lawks. Don't save us from those flames.
Paige! I just don't like his voice. I actually like Back to Black but he didn't do it justice whatsoever. I see Dannii is modelling herself on Dr Foster from Lie to Me in the VT clips this week. Well done if you got this reference at home (as Richard would say on Pointless).
The Daily Mail interviewed Katie's mum this week and titled the article something like 'Why does everyone hate Katie Weasel?' NICE! Honestly, as if going through Cherie Blair's bins wasn't enough.
Well Katie looks good but I have no idea what this song is. Woo! Her beehive has got it's own co-ordinates this week. I like her make-up, it's cool. I've always liked her. Being obnoxious and different isn't a bad thing.
Being One Direction is. TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES. Wow, this song is a tune. Their make up is a bit duff but I fancy some red mascara. Liking the drum machine. This is actually ace. That shouldn't have worked... but it did. The dark-haired one is a fittie.
OMFG I am psychic! I guessed Cher was going to do this song! I used to have this on tape. How did I guess that?! It must have been the moon in the video. My boyfriend is totally unimpressed I just guessed this out of about a trillion songs.
She sounds a little shaky but not too bad. I think she's proved her mettle. Cher's gone Kate Bush. I like her eyeshadow and her goth nightie, it's cute. She's gone for the full Tim Burton this week. Used to love this song so much. The rest of the album was duff, though.
Simon, it's not a 'season', it's a 'series', dear. That was NOT better than Aiden. Sowwee.
Belle Amie or Wagner to go tomorrow. Right; I'm off on my broomstick.