Wednesday, 26 March 2008

The Apprentice: Money, Money, Money

I hate The Apprentice, but I think you're meant to. No revamps for old Alan, same old set, same old sour-faced cronies, same old cunts trying to work for him. Oh no, they are different aren't they? They just seem the same personality-less, materialistic, cunty, nasty, braggy, shit-spouting dickwads as every other time (except probably two of them that are alright, but who knows who they are yet).
Stand-out twats so far: backcombed vampire guy, cockney wideboy, and petulant schoolboy. One to watch could be Alex (who was the project manager) who looked enough like Ethan Hawke to make me not want him to leave. OK, it was a 99p store version, but I'll take what I can get. He had nice eyes, but looked like he was wearing lipstick, so you gotta take the rough with the... CUT!
The women, also twats: eyebrows of joy (nah, I really did like them, they were cool), 'the best salesperson in Europe' in a sick-coloured shirt, and one in a pink beret. Berets are never good. Yes I did talk about the women solely in terms of their personal appearance, but I don't feel like being a feminist fighting machine today! Besides, these bitches can fight their own battles.
Cliche spotting: I forgot to pay proper attention to this, but I did notice an unnecessary '110%', 'cat amongst the pigeons', and a 'prince and a pauper' (what?!) The dude with the big nose totally fucked himself by blathering 'you're not as educated as me' what he meant, of course was, posh. Big mistake! Alan has PACKED BOXES for a living! He did his time like the rest of us commoners!
Oh yeah, and the task was something to do with fish but it was very, very boring.


* (asterisk) said...

Glad The Apprentice is back, me! "I like art and..." I don't remember what else; I was too busy picking my chin up off the floor. Just like Alex was. Alex's lips were very rosy, weren't they?! Also, I'd take issue with "pink beret": I think it, and the suit, were purple. Ah, yes, she was a vision in purple. Who truns up to the most arbitrary job interview dressed like that, much less a 12-week televised one? What a cunt!

The right person went. At least posh Indianish vampire boy Raef should be good for a laugh.

I love Sr'alan. Not so much that I'd lick his psoriasis or eczema or whatever it is that gives him his dry, flaky, red face. But I do like him.

lightupvirginmary said...

her shoes were very purple, but the beret??? Hot pink! One of us needs to check the contrast on our telly.
I was a bit disappointed that gimp guy went in a way, I think he might have been good for a one liner or two. But yeah, vamp guy is intriguing, and we obviously like the budget Ethan.
Why do you like Alan so much?

* (asterisk) said...

Why do I like The Sugar? Cos he's a bit rubbish, a real bargain-basement Trump!