To entertain myself this week I decided to cliche spot. Sadly for me, we only got 'the gloves are off', 'dark horse', 'hairs on the back of my neck stood up' (twice), and 'nailed it' 7000 times. Simon's normally good for a 'thousand percent' or two, so shame on him.
Dannii looks alternately gorgeous and awful every other week, and unfortunately for her she was having a wiggy Afghan week. Niki performed one dreary song and one which made Louis nod his head like a little puppy. I like it when he does that.
Leon sang two interminable jazz numbers, shaking like an abused kitten in his dad's suit for the first song. I really wanted him to say 'I've wanted to meet Michael Buble my whole life'. Leon wore leather trousers for his second number, which looked horrible and you couldn't even see his knob. Boo. Simon was right that he didn't connect with the audience. He looked like he was going to death row, and was lucky to survive, in my opinion. Sort it aht, Leon. We're relying on you in this house to eat next week.
Dannii missed a trick by not getting Grhydian to sing 'Like a Virgin'! That would have brought the fucking house down. He had a little quiff tonight instead of the full Bart Simpson. I wish Grhydian was still ginge. I like gingers. I thought he was going to do the Nazi salute at any given moment. Simon stood up, so it must have been good, but we weren't feeling it in Roseland. I think my boyfriend summed it up best with the comment, 'If I wasn't sure Simon was gay before the series began, I'm fucking positive now.'
'The Same Difference' as Michael Buble called them (and it's a much better name) sang one of Simon's favourite gay anthems for the first song. One of the dancers had a Same Difference tattoo! So at least the have one fan for life (or until he has a bath). For their second song, the bullied (get over it) Same Difference sang a racist anthem by S Club 'go back to your own country' 7. See the way they stared into each others eyes when they sang 'you'll always be my baby'? VOMIT. They are deffo fucking. On the plus side, they sang better than normal and I was quite moved by the sobbing (which definitely kept them in).
So. That was it. I was glad Niki went 'back to serving beans next week'. See ya!