Wednesday, 12 December 2007

Sex In The Noughties: The Sex Blog Girls

God, it is an offense to the eye and mind to write the word 'noughties'. Have you ever heard this decade described by a human and not written by a journalist as that? No, because it sounds ridiculous. This is a faceless decade, and the sooner we're in the tens, the better. Hold on, the tens sounds shit, too.
Anyway, I digress. I decided to watch this programme about girls who like to write about their sex lives in their blogs. As you may have noticed, my blog isn't about the intimate details of my love life, and for that, you should be truly thankful. The show featured Zoe Margolis (pseudonym Abby Lee), the writer of the infamous 'Girl with a one track mind' blog. If I have a one track mind, it's for crappy TV. I can't really relate to these sex-obsessed women, and I feel kind of prudish about the whole subject, to be honest. I can't say I ever check out bloke's packages. Ever. I just see if they've got nice eyes. God, I'm boring.
Sex is a feminist issue for women though; and Zoe is right: women should be allowed to talk about their sex lives on the exact same playing field as men. Women should be able to have sex if they want and not be labelled a slut, whore or slapper. It is one of the most obvious differences between men and women that there is no male word for slut, and if there is, then it's something to be proud of, a player, a cad. Why don't women get a slap on the back for the phone numbers they pick up of a night, rather than whispered about?
Personally, I find neither men nor women shagging around indiscriminately interesting or entertaining. I'm too squeamish to read about it. I've never gossiped with my friends about sex. I couldn't even watch Sex in the City. I think I am a stereotypical uptight English person. I think sex is between two people and that's it (how conservative am I?!) But I defend to the death womens RIGHT to talk about whatever they want and to not be judged (even if it makes me cringe).
Jessica Cutler was an American anonymous sex blogger, sleeping with six guys. Her work found out who she was and sacked her! Why!? What has it got to do with her job? It's just because they don't like women, especially not sexually adventurous ones.
On the back of this, journalists back home tried to trace 'Abby Lee' and also the prostitue sex blogger Belle De Jour. To show them up, basically, because they are naughty woman who shouldn't be talking about sex (just taking it).
I really liked the aspect of sex blogging involving taking back the power from women's magazines, and the fact that the things individual women are into are not the things we are told to like. How often to women's magazines talk about men and women being either dominant or submissive in bed? It's always just ridiculous, unworkable techniques and recycled ideas from the 60s. I like the freedom of expression and not towing the party line.
It was really interesting that Zoe's book got published and none of her family even knew about it. What a secret! There is something extremely sick and masochistic about the tabloids 'unmasking' her. If they treated women as humans in the first place, perhaps she wouldn't have had to publish the book anonymously. It was not in the public interest to out her. They are just cunts. I felt sorry for her that she couldn't write about it anymore. It must have been very liberating.
I wish an agent would spot my blog and give me a book deal. But I'm nowhere near kinky enough!


* (asterisk) said...

I got bored by the first ad break and turned over. I felt Abby Lee reading a passage about bloke's packages on the Tube about as dull aurally as I ever found her blog to read. Not because it was about sex, but just because I found it to be written in a dull manner. But sex sells.

Red said...

Well, we share a TV set, so I switched over too. In fact, I think I was the one who suggested going upstairs to buy some trees for our local forest in lieu of a mountain of Christmas cards.

Anyway... That Margolies woman was trying so hard to be a Carrie Bradshaw/Samantha Jones clone, it wasn't even amusing. I never read her blog, but the excerpts she read in the first part of the show weren't any more risque than a good ep of Sex and the City. And SATC had humour in it. This stuff is just boring.

And frankly, if you think about sex ALL THE TIME (not like guys, who think about it every 8 seconds, but ALL THE TIME), you must have a pretty sad life with not much going on in it.

lightupvirginmary said...

I found the sex talk boring too, but I presumed it was just cos I'm a frigid bitch.
Can people choose how often they think about sex though? Surely if you've got a high sex drive you're just stuck with it.

Red said...

Surely even people with high sex drives need to concentrate on something else every now and then? Like when they are flossing a delicate gum area. How can you think about getting banged when your gums are sore? Or when you are trying to negotiate a busy roundabout?

Maybe Abby Lee doesn't floss and she only takes the Tube. Or maybe I'm a frigid bitch too...

lightupvirginmary said...

frigid bitches of the world... unite and take over!
Maybe we're just NORMAL. Heaven forbid, how dull.

Picking up Women said...

Sex is a feminist issue for women though; and Zoe is right: women should be allowed to talk about their sex lives on the exact same playing field as men.

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