Wednesday, 16 May 2007

The Ubiquitous Ikea Lamp

Thanks to Dawn for this title. I posted a picture of me on MySpazz, with this lamp in the background, and what do you know. Two of my best mates on there said they owned this lamp. They have this lamp on Peep Show. For the past four of five weeks of Wife Swap, not one but both families have had this very same lamp. Every TV set from reality to soap has this exact same lamp. The chav lamp, as I like to call it.
So why, you ask, as if you don't know, does everyone own this lamp? It is undoubtedly a stylish accessory, an asset to any home. The bulbs are a pain to buy and you have to collect dead flies and moths from the plastic uplifter bit, but hey ho. So did we buy this lamp for it's elegant style?
No. This lamp cost £4.50. That's four pounds and fifty pence. You'd be shocked by that if you didn't own this lamp yourself. That is the cheapest lamp that ever existed- fact. £4.50. There is not one single person who has ever ventured onto an Ikea (ps. Ikea breeds rage) and not going, 'Ooh, four pounds fifty! Shall we get one?; if you DID go to Ikea and pass it up, you'd be a fool! A damn fool!
So yes. Everyone has this lamp. And even if you don't you should award yourself some chocolate or a cup of tea for every time you spot one from here on out.
What do lamps have to do with either Exit or Entertainment? God knows. But this lamp thing is getting out of hand, so it needed to be mentioned.

4 comments:

clixby said...

I have this lamp, it's shining down on me as I write. I love this lamp. Does this mean I am a chav or that I just know a good lamp when I see one? I'm confused.

lightupvirginmary said...

It means you are part of the cult! They are controlling our minds with this lamp.
Truth!

Catherine said...

Thanks for making me laugh. I don't have the lamp, btw.
In fact, (say it quietly so THEY don't come after me), I have never been to IKEA.
There. Said it.
It frightens me, to be honest. Shopping at IKEA, not not having been there. I once wrote a letter to Time Out (and they printed it. Swank) saying that I'd read their 'guide to shopping at IKEA' when I was on dialysis, and just reading about it so exhausted me that I thanked the Good Lord (Him again ;0) ) that I'd been spared that Hell...
Though I am planning on going at some point. I need to furnish and redecorate my bedroom. Do you think I'll be able to escape the draw of The Lamp..?
Mind you, it could be worse. In my student days, everyone had a circular paper wired lamp hanging from every ceiling. Bet they cost the landlord less than £4.50 for the entire house...

lightupvirginmary said...

Ikea is good value and you'll always get something you won't expect. But do not go on a Saturday! You won't come out alive...