So finally I get to write about something other than you know what. And what do we get instead? More of you know what! OK so Jade has gone blubbering off to the News of the World to contradict herself about whether she's a racist or not. But still tensions remain.
'If you think peace is a common goal, it goes to show how little you know...' a wise Mancunian once sang, and he was right.
One victim/perpetrator down and another one of each grows back in its place. It's depressing how predictable it all is.
It took me around half an hour to even work out what was going on in tonights Big Brother. Why was Cleo even annoyed Dirk made a joke about porn? Jo and Danielle are grown women, they can tell him to stop if they think he's over-stepped the line.
Instead I rather suspect it was his affectionate groping of Shilpa that really got Cleo's goat and the porn thing was an excuse as lame as her non-comedy character. How dare she go in the diary room and say he has no sense of humour. She has never made me laugh ONCE. Frightened, yes. Angry, certainly. She went from frozen-faced fence-sitter to sexually-aggressive harridan and did nothing useful in between. The thing about him being close to cracking, like that was a good thing, was also deeply mysterious. Is the Big Brother house in topsy-turvy land? Is cruelty considered genius there? Or are they all just a fucked-up, out-of-touch wankers who will be weeping and repenting on the front of Closer/ Tabloids/ BBLB before we know it?
'I'm sure he thinks we all fancy him,' Cleo said, revealing what we already know... that she DOES fancy him, and is so desperate for his attention that she's decided to victimise him instead.
'She's a good soul,' said Shilpa, about as off the money with her character assessments as her chicken cooking. 'No she's not.' Dirk said, with more honesty than five series of Big Brother contestants put together. Jo and Danielle continued to prove themselves cruel as fuck, so it wasn't Jade stirring them up after all. They were nasty little bastards anyway. Good, I don't want people to forget.
Dirk: cheer up. We love ya still. It will all be over... soon.