Six people was a lot to whip out in one night. First two, Jack and Danielle were no suprise: Jack's realisation that they were hated as he walked downstairs was the most astute he's been in three weeks. Danielle did not get the lynching I expected, either by the crowd or Davina. Jo had a much harder time, and had to face it alone. Danielle tittered her way through the clips of her abusing Shilpa. Still: just wait till she gets home and finds her stuff dumped on Teddy Sherringham's lawn- that's enough punishment for one day, I suppose.
Ian was thrilled to come fourth, and it was begrudgingly cute to watch him brimming over with excitement that the public loved him (or at least didn't hate him as much as the others).
So we were left with an all-star non-English final. Dirk came third- so that was my 50p down the drain. He gave good interview as I knew he would and did look slightly disappointed to come third.
So then, the proof we're not racist, and we hate our own as much as everyone else, we had a non-white top two. And Shilpa was STILL getting booed! Are Channel 4 so stupid that they don't realise this looks slightly wrong? They should have taken out the errant booers and shot them in the face or something. That's how I'd deal with it.
Jermaine expected to win, I suspect, but I was glad he didn't. Words of wisdom are fine, but he dished out more cliches than an Eastenders script. Still, he was fairly accurate most of the time, and was a genuinely lovely guy, whom I fully expected to hate on Day One. Which leads me to wondering... am I wrong about Michael Jackson? Let's not even go down that road, it's too scary...
And then there was one. Shilpa looked genuinely hurt when she saw the others abusing her on the clips. Her forgiveness of Jade and 'not wanting to cause trouble' was lovely: YOU didn't cause trouble, Shilpa, other people did.
So in the end, the top three were all successful people, all decent people, all kind people. What did Britain have to offer? A couple of people who were happy to walk by on the other side as someone got hurt, a group of people who hated someone because she was different to them, and three eccentrics who (quite wisely) buggered off before the going got really tough. Leo provided the truest comedy, and we could have done with a lot more of it.
So what will Big Brother in the summer be like? Will we get a sanitised, Cameron-esque line up? What's more likely is that the producers will push it even more, probably hoping to have the first death/ pregnancy/ stabbing on the show.
Personally, I'd like a return to more normal characters, but not boring ones. People with brains even, and diverse interests, rather than the usual page-three girl offerings. I'd also like to see a vote to save instead of a vote to evict, so we can kick out the dead wood early.
I'd like to see Big Brother NOT meddling with nominations, NOT being evil, NOT giving us stupid twists, NOT letting people back in the house once they've left. Let us feel in control again, and then we can be to blame if it ends up a crap show.
At least it will be ours again. Because I'd hate to see it cancelled. It's still the best thing on telly.