The last person who referred to themselves in the third person in the Big Brother house was a strange egomaniac who couldn't deal with the harsh realities of life such as pant-washing (Leo). Now we have Cleo, who cannot deal with... um, anything. She is a comedienne who's not funny. Where does she go from here? Away, I hope.
I'll tell you one thing though, when Jack provides a bigger belly laugh than your 'comedy characters': god help you! Although how can anyone compete with Jack's tiny comical penis? I like skinny male bodies when they are clothed but that was really something else. Would he have got away with that if Jade had still been in the house? I suspect not.
The decline of Dirk is depressing as he's the funniest and most intelligent person in the house. Can he still win it? I'd like to think so, but he just seems so sad. Hopefully Shilpa and Jermaine will keep looking after him and keeping him sane.
When can we boot some more people out? I'd like to see the back of Jo and Danielle quick smart. If they kept me awake when I was trying to sleep I'd poison the fuckers.
But that's just me.
Showing posts with label Dirk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dirk. Show all posts
Monday, 22 January 2007
Sunday, 21 January 2007
Celebrity Big Brother 2007: (Not) A Good Soul
So finally I get to write about something other than you know what. And what do we get instead? More of you know what! OK so Jade has gone blubbering off to the News of the World to contradict herself about whether she's a racist or not. But still tensions remain.
'If you think peace is a common goal, it goes to show how little you know...' a wise Mancunian once sang, and he was right.
One victim/perpetrator down and another one of each grows back in its place. It's depressing how predictable it all is.
It took me around half an hour to even work out what was going on in tonights Big Brother. Why was Cleo even annoyed Dirk made a joke about porn? Jo and Danielle are grown women, they can tell him to stop if they think he's over-stepped the line.
Instead I rather suspect it was his affectionate groping of Shilpa that really got Cleo's goat and the porn thing was an excuse as lame as her non-comedy character. How dare she go in the diary room and say he has no sense of humour. She has never made me laugh ONCE. Frightened, yes. Angry, certainly. She went from frozen-faced fence-sitter to sexually-aggressive harridan and did nothing useful in between. The thing about him being close to cracking, like that was a good thing, was also deeply mysterious. Is the Big Brother house in topsy-turvy land? Is cruelty considered genius there? Or are they all just a fucked-up, out-of-touch wankers who will be weeping and repenting on the front of Closer/ Tabloids/ BBLB before we know it?
'I'm sure he thinks we all fancy him,' Cleo said, revealing what we already know... that she DOES fancy him, and is so desperate for his attention that she's decided to victimise him instead.
'She's a good soul,' said Shilpa, about as off the money with her character assessments as her chicken cooking. 'No she's not.' Dirk said, with more honesty than five series of Big Brother contestants put together. Jo and Danielle continued to prove themselves cruel as fuck, so it wasn't Jade stirring them up after all. They were nasty little bastards anyway. Good, I don't want people to forget.
Dirk: cheer up. We love ya still. It will all be over... soon.
'If you think peace is a common goal, it goes to show how little you know...' a wise Mancunian once sang, and he was right.
One victim/perpetrator down and another one of each grows back in its place. It's depressing how predictable it all is.
It took me around half an hour to even work out what was going on in tonights Big Brother. Why was Cleo even annoyed Dirk made a joke about porn? Jo and Danielle are grown women, they can tell him to stop if they think he's over-stepped the line.
Instead I rather suspect it was his affectionate groping of Shilpa that really got Cleo's goat and the porn thing was an excuse as lame as her non-comedy character. How dare she go in the diary room and say he has no sense of humour. She has never made me laugh ONCE. Frightened, yes. Angry, certainly. She went from frozen-faced fence-sitter to sexually-aggressive harridan and did nothing useful in between. The thing about him being close to cracking, like that was a good thing, was also deeply mysterious. Is the Big Brother house in topsy-turvy land? Is cruelty considered genius there? Or are they all just a fucked-up, out-of-touch wankers who will be weeping and repenting on the front of Closer/ Tabloids/ BBLB before we know it?
'I'm sure he thinks we all fancy him,' Cleo said, revealing what we already know... that she DOES fancy him, and is so desperate for his attention that she's decided to victimise him instead.
'She's a good soul,' said Shilpa, about as off the money with her character assessments as her chicken cooking. 'No she's not.' Dirk said, with more honesty than five series of Big Brother contestants put together. Jo and Danielle continued to prove themselves cruel as fuck, so it wasn't Jade stirring them up after all. They were nasty little bastards anyway. Good, I don't want people to forget.
Dirk: cheer up. We love ya still. It will all be over... soon.
Wednesday, 10 January 2007
Celebrity Big Brother: The Guantanamo Bay Edition
The breakdown of Leo Sayer has been hilarious. From day one when he declared he could 'light up a room' I knew that we were in for trouble. Then all my suspicions were confirmed when he turned out to be a rather unpleasant little man, complaining of the rise of non-entity celebs whilst living in the home of those that created the cult. Comparing the Big Brother experience to being in Guantanamo Bay seems a slight over-exagerration. Next thing you know he'll be crying 'concentration camp' cos he's run out of hairspray.
It also turns out he's extremely crude, talking of being horny, wanking and finally inviting Big Brother to 'look at his dick'. Lovely! His contract must have been water-tight as he sloped out of the room like a little mouse after reading it. He is making the show at the moment though, and long may he stay and be annoyed by EVERYTHING.
I think Big Brother begrudgingly listened to the voices of dissent online as last nights show was quite Goody-free. I really enjoyed the 'romance' (invented and stirred up beautifully by Carol) between Dirk and Shilpa, who are both classy people in a house full of morons and egos. Dirk is very funny and cool, and says it like it is. He's definitely my pick to win.
As for the Goodys, it's a shame Jack will be leaving tonight and not Jackiey. Now there's one person I really would like to send to Guantanamo bay. Seriously, I'd swap her for a genuine terrorist (if there's one there- which I doubt).
It also turns out he's extremely crude, talking of being horny, wanking and finally inviting Big Brother to 'look at his dick'. Lovely! His contract must have been water-tight as he sloped out of the room like a little mouse after reading it. He is making the show at the moment though, and long may he stay and be annoyed by EVERYTHING.
I think Big Brother begrudgingly listened to the voices of dissent online as last nights show was quite Goody-free. I really enjoyed the 'romance' (invented and stirred up beautifully by Carol) between Dirk and Shilpa, who are both classy people in a house full of morons and egos. Dirk is very funny and cool, and says it like it is. He's definitely my pick to win.
As for the Goodys, it's a shame Jack will be leaving tonight and not Jackiey. Now there's one person I really would like to send to Guantanamo bay. Seriously, I'd swap her for a genuine terrorist (if there's one there- which I doubt).
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