Quick, pass the heroin. It's time to delve my foot into the murky pool of 'one of Britain's best loved celebrity couples.' Yeah, I love Josie and Crab Eyes marginally more than Wayne and Coleen Rooney, but slightly less than that thing off TOWIE and Jack Tweed's less articulate friend (I've never seen TOWIE so this may or may not be accurate).
Josie is designing clothes for overweight people. I hope it's not more of those horrendously unflattering maxi dresses she always wears.
BORING. Bring on the c-words!
Ah, here we go. Crabby is packing up a suitcase full of pleather jackets and guyliner. Josie should go back to Bristol and be happy. They'll find her hanging from the rafters of that disgusting flat if she carries on like this.
John James is doing a whole 'poor me' act, skulking in the corner behind a cardboard box. I always thought John James's highlights were gross. But his brown hair is even worse.
Ah, the infamous OK splitting up interview. I read the whole thing in Sainsburys (fuck you, OK, I'm not paying for your made up headlines!) and it was pure car crash, so can't wait to see it on TV, too. Imagine breaking up with not just a journalist in the room, but a TV crew as well. Shouldn't some things be done privately? I wonder what John 'I'm getting angry now!' James would have thought of a couple who did that sort of thing when he was ensconced in the BB house. Well, I've got an idea. I'd like to strangle him with that Topman scarf, cobber.
Ooh, The Decks got a mention! They should stay together for the sake of those decks. Think of the children!
Josie's hair looked nice when they were out for dinner. John James might as well have already been in Oz for the attention he gave her.
JJ! Can you fuck off out of Josie's house now, you fucking leech?
I hate the way John James is leaving just to punish her. It's really cruel. Does he take one bit of responsibility for the way he's treated her? Just admit you DON'T LOVE HER. Show her that bit of decency. He looks like such a knob in that hat, an' all.
Him saying 'you can't just walk away' in the airport is a bit rich when he's getting on a plane to Australia. This is actually quite upsetting. I guess she never saw him again after that. He shouldn't have done that to her; it's a cowardly way to dump someone.
The way he goes on reminds me a lot of someone I used to go out with, and those kind of mind games can really break you. Josie might shout a bit but she's pretty straight up. What you see is what you get (cliche intended).
Even that house Josie went to look at in Bristol was gross. I hate new build houses, they're like giant council houses. Aw I feel sorry for her planning for him to come back when he had no intention of doing that. Well, even if he had come back, they'd have just argued their way through those grotesque overgrown council houses.
Ugh this had gone really boring again now Crabby's gone.
Josie's mum seemed drunk. Why is John James wearing Josie's necklace?! Re. her mum's advice: fuck me, I'd rather be John James's emotional punchbag than go out with Olly Murs.
Her hair looked better when it was straight, before he curled it. Tongs should be banned. Why do they always style Josie with her arms out?! I've got fat arms and guess what, I don't get them out. You can cover yourself up and look really good. I'm the master of covering up my bad bits lately, cos there's so many of them! I suppose it's good she's not bothered, but I just think she could look really good with the right help. I feel like they're setting her up to look a bit stupid at times. Like 'well you're not anorexic so we're going to make you look a frump'. Put her in a baggy top and some skinny jeans and she'd look cool.
I liked Josie's attitude in the interviews afterwards, she seemed pretty strong. I think Josie is a good example to women to lose controlling boyfriends and get on with your life. It's just most of us don't have another continent to send them to.
So is that the end of the series? If not, it should be! I can't do these celeb reality shows. I need strangers. I need vetos. I need live feed.
PS. Don't ever put JJ on my screen again, please. Stick him back down the obscurity pipe.
PPS. She sold his decks on ebay. LOL!
Showing posts with label there's something about josie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label there's something about josie. Show all posts
Monday, 23 May 2011
Monday, 16 May 2011
There's something about Josie: 'I don't even know what a gastric band is'
I'm already despairing about having to watch another episode of this, I'm not even slightly in the mood for John James's BS. And why are the credits so gaudy? It's like looking at an copy of Real People magazine.
I just fast forwards through the boxing bit. I think I'd rather watch that boxing claptrap in Eastenders. This modelling thing is dull as fuck, too. God, I think I'd be better off watching Kerry Katona. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME WATCH THIS?
Ah, the Josie and John James dress up as Peter and Jordan OK magazine photoshoot. I actually bought that one. I wonder why she doesn't want to play dress up. I seem to recall some angry little man in the Big Brother house calling someone a whore for the mere idea of appearing in a magazine shoot. WEIRD. I wonder why Josie is so upset about dressing up as a couple who have split up. Because she knows their relationship is doomed, obviously.
Josie is being a diva. Even John James is being more reasonable than her. It's like the magazine editors are taking the piss out of them. The whole show just feels sneery. I know they're asking for it. I know they're getting paid for it. But it's still just unpleasant to watch.
Ugh the way they are talking to each other is disgusting. If you're calling each other names and shouting at each other, it's not a relationship. Sure everyone argues, but you still have to have respect for your partner. They have none.
Ah now they're arguing about the 'he forced me to have an abortion' magazine cover. I can see why crabby is annoyed about that as it does look like it was him that said it. Mind you, it's not Josie's fault what lies they stick on the front.
Oh the dulcet Australian and Bristolian accents arguing. Magical.
Creepy fans! Ugh. Why do people want to be famous? I couldn't think of anything worse. Having to speak to freaks everywhere you go. I'd rather have anonymity than any millions.
God, I'd hate to go out with a moody so-and-so like John James. I can't STAND moody men. WTF why is JJ acting as go between. JJ is so fucking ugly he makes me want to vom. I'd rather have sex with a boiled egg than that boring cunt.
Was that hotel 'luxury'? I've seen better in the before section of The Hotel Inspector.
Thank God Josie chucked that thing out. He's like an emotional vampire. I've been in that situation where I've been out with someone I thought was so good-looking that I let them get away with murder. It's really not worth it. No, really.
Yeah, the fans are right, Josie sure is 'bubbly'. Why are all their 'fans' middle-aged women?! Why is JJ signing things at Josie's perfume signing? Get off that bandwagon, you fucking leech.
It's so sad and pathetic hearing them arguing about their looks. Josie should have stayed having a laugh with her mates. I think Josie would be better off just moving back to Bristol and being near her family. Fame aint all it's cracked up to be; just ask Chantelle.
John James is an emotionally abusive POS. I've seen his kind a million times before. I bet you a million times he's useless in bed, too. In fact I bet you a ZILLION pounds he's one of those guys who won't go down on a girl. I'd bet my fucking LIFE ON IT. HE IS A MISOGYNIST.
Whippet? Postcode? WTF sort of argument is this?! How embarrassing having an argument like that on camera. Where's your dignitas?
I think that disgusting flat is sucking the life out of them. It's like the dullest hotel room on the planet.
LOL look at that scarf John James is wearing. And the earring! Stop calling her a cunt, you nasty little fucker. Woman-hating little closet case. I bet JJ is shitting himself now because his two meal tickets are warring. Better go back to Aston Merrygold and leech off him instead.
I just fast forwards through the boxing bit. I think I'd rather watch that boxing claptrap in Eastenders. This modelling thing is dull as fuck, too. God, I think I'd be better off watching Kerry Katona. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME WATCH THIS?
Ah, the Josie and John James dress up as Peter and Jordan OK magazine photoshoot. I actually bought that one. I wonder why she doesn't want to play dress up. I seem to recall some angry little man in the Big Brother house calling someone a whore for the mere idea of appearing in a magazine shoot. WEIRD. I wonder why Josie is so upset about dressing up as a couple who have split up. Because she knows their relationship is doomed, obviously.
Josie is being a diva. Even John James is being more reasonable than her. It's like the magazine editors are taking the piss out of them. The whole show just feels sneery. I know they're asking for it. I know they're getting paid for it. But it's still just unpleasant to watch.
Ugh the way they are talking to each other is disgusting. If you're calling each other names and shouting at each other, it's not a relationship. Sure everyone argues, but you still have to have respect for your partner. They have none.
Ah now they're arguing about the 'he forced me to have an abortion' magazine cover. I can see why crabby is annoyed about that as it does look like it was him that said it. Mind you, it's not Josie's fault what lies they stick on the front.
Oh the dulcet Australian and Bristolian accents arguing. Magical.
Creepy fans! Ugh. Why do people want to be famous? I couldn't think of anything worse. Having to speak to freaks everywhere you go. I'd rather have anonymity than any millions.
God, I'd hate to go out with a moody so-and-so like John James. I can't STAND moody men. WTF why is JJ acting as go between. JJ is so fucking ugly he makes me want to vom. I'd rather have sex with a boiled egg than that boring cunt.
Was that hotel 'luxury'? I've seen better in the before section of The Hotel Inspector.
Thank God Josie chucked that thing out. He's like an emotional vampire. I've been in that situation where I've been out with someone I thought was so good-looking that I let them get away with murder. It's really not worth it. No, really.
Yeah, the fans are right, Josie sure is 'bubbly'. Why are all their 'fans' middle-aged women?! Why is JJ signing things at Josie's perfume signing? Get off that bandwagon, you fucking leech.
It's so sad and pathetic hearing them arguing about their looks. Josie should have stayed having a laugh with her mates. I think Josie would be better off just moving back to Bristol and being near her family. Fame aint all it's cracked up to be; just ask Chantelle.
John James is an emotionally abusive POS. I've seen his kind a million times before. I bet you a million times he's useless in bed, too. In fact I bet you a ZILLION pounds he's one of those guys who won't go down on a girl. I'd bet my fucking LIFE ON IT. HE IS A MISOGYNIST.
Whippet? Postcode? WTF sort of argument is this?! How embarrassing having an argument like that on camera. Where's your dignitas?
I think that disgusting flat is sucking the life out of them. It's like the dullest hotel room on the planet.
LOL look at that scarf John James is wearing. And the earring! Stop calling her a cunt, you nasty little fucker. Woman-hating little closet case. I bet JJ is shitting himself now because his two meal tickets are warring. Better go back to Aston Merrygold and leech off him instead.
Monday, 9 May 2011
There's something about Josie
Big Brother recap! John James and Josie have split up. He had his crab eyes on something skinnier. They're now rowing on Twitter. Hardly Romeo and Juliet, is it? I'm only surprised they didn't stay together longer for the money/ tv show.
Josie actually gets right on my nerves these days. Her whole shtick seems 100% contrived, just like that relationship was.
I hate it when people tell me something is 'every girl's dream'. It's not MY dream to have my hair and make up done and go in OK magazine with a misogynistic prick by my side, thanks very much.
Ugh, their flat is so grim. It looks like a council block. Overlooking the Thames? No thanks. I'd rather overlook a scrapyard.
Oh, John James. What a strange little man he is. Vain, yet incredibly insecure. Not a good combination.
Oh god, they had a 'love contract' to change three things about each other. No wonder their relationship went down the dumper. When you love someone you don't want to change things about them. You just love all of them. Their relationship makes the Kerry Katona/ Mark Croft union look like it had potential.
I hate Josie's 'I'm stupid' act, too, like that's something to be proud of. It isn't. Go read a book.
Wow, that was an exciting segment, with Josie picking a venue for a partyzzzzzzzzzzz. Uh, JJ! That cunt should do the right thing and disappear into obscurity just like Stuart and Dale (Stale!) and his ilk before him. Probably the dullest Big Brother contestant since Imogen Thomas.
I wonder why John doesn't like socialising with people (because he's a prick and will probably say somethign stupid).
The thing that strikes me most is what a sad, empty life they are living (all three of them). It just seems completely nothingy. Just clinging to the wreckage of z-list fame.
OMG that club where John James and JJ are DJing looks like HELL ON EARTH.
UGH get JJ off my screen! USELESS. The worst kind of Big Brother contestant, allegedly 'good looking' but devoid of personality. Channel 5, take note, we don't need any of these this series. At least John James was complex. No, really, he was!
Josie is braver than I modelling that fancy dress on TV.
LOL to John James saying how much Josie's present cost (£800). How very romantic (I mean, crass). I bet it still wasn't as much as those bloody decks.
It's so OBVIOUS that JJ HATES Josie and would never talk to anyone like her 'in real life' or in any other circumstances other than her letting him take the piss out of her by staying in their flat. I HATE HIM. HATE!
It's like John James is just playing at having a relationship. I think Josie would make a fun girlfriend for someone like her; sociable, carefree, boozy, outgoing. John James is not any of those things. Some blokes would find her really sexy, too. If they weren't gay, that is.
I actually thought she looked quite good in the white dress! Ugh, Sam Pepper. And Andrew! Remember him? No?
Josie looks like she's having such a good time at that party. I admire someone who throws themselves into a party to that extent, I'm too reserved to have that much fun.
I like the fact John James is just completely ignoring her obnoxious behaviour! It sucks when you're trying to enjoy yourself and you've got some miserable boyfriend on your back; I've been there.
LOL John in bed with JJ AGAIN. This is beginning to look like a habit. Fuck me, she looks worse for wear!
Is this show a series? How will they sustain interest once crab eyes goes back to Oz? The truth is, Josie's just not that interesting. Also, have you noticed how these reality people (Kerry, Jordan, Josie) never actually have any mates in their show? It's sad, really.
I'm STILL surprised he walked rather than be on TV. Because it was ALL about the fame for John James. Don't ever forget that.
Josie actually gets right on my nerves these days. Her whole shtick seems 100% contrived, just like that relationship was.
I hate it when people tell me something is 'every girl's dream'. It's not MY dream to have my hair and make up done and go in OK magazine with a misogynistic prick by my side, thanks very much.
Ugh, their flat is so grim. It looks like a council block. Overlooking the Thames? No thanks. I'd rather overlook a scrapyard.
Oh, John James. What a strange little man he is. Vain, yet incredibly insecure. Not a good combination.
Oh god, they had a 'love contract' to change three things about each other. No wonder their relationship went down the dumper. When you love someone you don't want to change things about them. You just love all of them. Their relationship makes the Kerry Katona/ Mark Croft union look like it had potential.
I hate Josie's 'I'm stupid' act, too, like that's something to be proud of. It isn't. Go read a book.
Wow, that was an exciting segment, with Josie picking a venue for a partyzzzzzzzzzzz. Uh, JJ! That cunt should do the right thing and disappear into obscurity just like Stuart and Dale (Stale!) and his ilk before him. Probably the dullest Big Brother contestant since Imogen Thomas.
I wonder why John doesn't like socialising with people (because he's a prick and will probably say somethign stupid).
The thing that strikes me most is what a sad, empty life they are living (all three of them). It just seems completely nothingy. Just clinging to the wreckage of z-list fame.
OMG that club where John James and JJ are DJing looks like HELL ON EARTH.
UGH get JJ off my screen! USELESS. The worst kind of Big Brother contestant, allegedly 'good looking' but devoid of personality. Channel 5, take note, we don't need any of these this series. At least John James was complex. No, really, he was!
Josie is braver than I modelling that fancy dress on TV.
LOL to John James saying how much Josie's present cost (£800). How very romantic (I mean, crass). I bet it still wasn't as much as those bloody decks.
It's so OBVIOUS that JJ HATES Josie and would never talk to anyone like her 'in real life' or in any other circumstances other than her letting him take the piss out of her by staying in their flat. I HATE HIM. HATE!
It's like John James is just playing at having a relationship. I think Josie would make a fun girlfriend for someone like her; sociable, carefree, boozy, outgoing. John James is not any of those things. Some blokes would find her really sexy, too. If they weren't gay, that is.
I actually thought she looked quite good in the white dress! Ugh, Sam Pepper. And Andrew! Remember him? No?
Josie looks like she's having such a good time at that party. I admire someone who throws themselves into a party to that extent, I'm too reserved to have that much fun.
I like the fact John James is just completely ignoring her obnoxious behaviour! It sucks when you're trying to enjoy yourself and you've got some miserable boyfriend on your back; I've been there.
LOL John in bed with JJ AGAIN. This is beginning to look like a habit. Fuck me, she looks worse for wear!
Is this show a series? How will they sustain interest once crab eyes goes back to Oz? The truth is, Josie's just not that interesting. Also, have you noticed how these reality people (Kerry, Jordan, Josie) never actually have any mates in their show? It's sad, really.
I'm STILL surprised he walked rather than be on TV. Because it was ALL about the fame for John James. Don't ever forget that.
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