BBC3: Snog, Marry, Avoid?

I've managed to tune in some more Freeview channels! Hurrah!
Snog Marry Avoid? is the best makeover show on telly! The least ugly one from Atomic Kitten takes a couple of Northern slappers who make Jodie Marsh look as pallid as Michael Jackson's and give them a make-under. But I love their trashy looks! They look wicked with their make-up all splodged on and their furry boots and a bit of tape for a skirt. There is something fascinating about women who wear make-up as a mask and all their fake hair and everything. It's brilliant! It shows personality.
When they show the girls on the streets in town centres up North, it's like another world. I've never seen so much hairspray in my entire life. 'Being orange is good' one of them said. But why? It's weird! But wonderful.
Emo interlude: Then they had one girl who looked like a nu-raver (or cyber kid as we used to call them back in the day) who had her ears made into 'elf ears' via plastic surgery. Nice! Good luck down the job centre, love. (God, I sound like Richard Littlejohn today!)
Back to the Serena Slazengers. 'Tangerine is better than pasty white.' No! Pale is beautiful! They do look COMPLETELY different after the makeovers, and I like the fact the makeover takes one second. I hate the way they drag out 10 Years Younger (and I also want to kick Nicky Hambleton-Jones in the fanny).
They make them look awful afterwards, like boring school teachers. This must be how their boyfriends feel when they see them in the morning!
Ah, it's a hard life being a natural beauty. *cough*

Big Brother 8: I thought you was one of them Museum People

Aww! I loved the second half of BB tonight, (i.e. the part when Carole wasn't whizzing round on her broomstick) it was like old skool romance time! Brian and Amanda are the like best big brother couple eva, woo! I'm pleased she likes him, I hope she didn't give him the cold shoulder this morning. I loved EVEN MORE Liam sitting outside, cursing the fact he hooked up with Amy and her boobs. No more twin-throwing for you! Hehe! And him listening in the dark! Hahaha! Muppet.
What else? Alex and Adele. I couldn't remember who Adele was either. Alex doing his stupid behind the door thing was like Ricky Gervais doing 'the dance' or Nikki rehashing her strops. Somewhat stale. Loved Brian's excitement though.
Nominations were annoying because they didn't oust the bearded lady. Gerry: she basically got in your face two seconds before nominations and you still didn't take the bait. I'm ashamed of you. You're past 30 and being bitch-whipped. Grow a spine. I suspect Amy will go rather than Kryton which is boring as it will make Liam 'canny lass' The Lad think he was right to treat her like a piece of crap.
I'm actually fast forwarding Carole now. I thought Nicky's voice was bad, but Carole's has usurped it.

Big Brother 8: Jump Ziggy Jump

Yeah into the fucking river. But then again no. Because I kind of love Ziggy again (i.e. I'd rather he stayed than the newbies). They definitely just put these new people in to make us appreciate that despite their inadequacies, we truly love our old housemates.
There was definitely some tension between Ziggles and Shanessa tonight, what with the willy crack (SOMEONE'S been reading the News Of The World) and then singing the Spice Girls. Evil mind games! She's not as stupid as she looks.
Brian was brilliant tonight, the most multi-faceted moron on earth, touching, funny, kind, beautiful. Describing shagging Amanda as harps and angels and Shanessa as being sucked through a hosepipe was class. He, Gerry and the twins sobbing in the toilet was emotional 'It's too much!' cried Gerry. It's true. It just makes you hate the new housemates. Brian said 'they aren't great replacements for Chanelle and Ziggy' and summed up the thoughts of the nation.
I don't know how Ziggy didn't realise they were cheering for him to jump out the box. I loved it when Shanessa jumped out and the twins looked stony-faced and Gerry went 'fuck'. Ziggy looked funny in his fairy outfit.
I LOVED Ziggy and Liam getting all terrotorial in the halfway house 'they are chucking my twins around the pool!' but the conversation went too laddy for me when Liam commented on Amy's spotty chin. Yuck. Not very chivalrous. He didn't mind rubbing his on hers later. I also expected him to give the thumbs up to the camera when they got into bed. There's something about that overtly laddish behaviour I just find unnerving. It was interesting watching his seduction technique though.
I hate David. I hate Kryton forehead girl. I still hate Carole. I do know from live feedage that Liam, Ziggy, Jonty and Amy are back in the big house, and that Tracey, Shanessa, David and Kryton are back in the halfway house. Good. Drop the bomb, I don't care who bites the bullet there. I'm glad Zigs is safe. I know I'm a turncoat, but it's who you hate the least at this stage, let's be honest.
However, it does make the picking of the housemates, and the various tasks completely pointless, and a bit unfair. But that's Big Brother to a tee, isn't it? I'd be annoyed if I was a newbie. They are blatantly making it up as they go. Anyway. I feel it may be time for Tracey to 'deal with it'. What do you reckon?