Documentary: The World's Most Enhanced Woman and Me

Is this a new series of this, or a repeat? Mark Dolan (i.e. the male Dawn Porter) this week goes to find the women who has deformed herself most grotesquely with boob jobs. I was going to blog this last week when he did the world's cleverest child but it was kind of boring. Give me Dawn having an orgy any day. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Anyway, this week Fauxis Theroux went to meet women with HUGE boobs. These women made Jordan look like Keira Knightley. I thought this had gone out of fashion, too, but apparently there are still a few mega-freaks out there.
I thought it was interesting to find out 'why', why indeed? Men, money, insecurity?
The first woman he met showed him her old four-and-a-half litre implants, which looked exactly like the kind of bags you take home from the fair with a goldfish in. Nice. It leaked into her body and made her brain swell up. Yummy!
He didn't seem to learn much from the first woman he met; he just seemed to be objectifying her. Hmm. Then he went to meet a big boob fan (i.e. a sleaze). This led him to a woman called Minka who had a stupid amount of cleavage and yorkshire terriers.
Minka had 4 litre breasts and a tiny waist. Each one weighs the equivalent of 4 bags of sugar and they were four times bigger than her head. As Placebo once said, 'there's no escaping gravity.'
Her manager 'Woody' called her 'a commodity' and said 'have you ever seen an Asian that looks like that?' Charmed, I'm sure!
The sad part was, she actually wanted to be a tennis player, but her 'manager' (who also stars with her in the films) decided on another future for her. Sucking his cock and disfiguring herself.
How she can play tennis with those boobs, I have no idea. Mark Dolan stood there looking disgusted, but that was about it.
Next Mark went to Brazil to meet Shayla Hershey who was having an operation to become the most enhanced woman in the world. She doesn't do porn or go topless, she's more of a Jordan figure (without the glamour start in life). Her boobs are so big, she is bent over with a bad back. Great. It was weird watching her jiggling her boobs for photos in the shopping mall. Even Jordan isn't that shameless.
It turned out her boyfriend persuaded her to have the breast implants. Oh dear. It was actually quite disturbing when she was posing for pics straight after her operation; something wasn't right in her head. She didn't seem very happy, did she?
I like it when my blog is about something naughty. Watch my hits go up as disappointed men find my blog instead of enormo-jug action.

Bodyshock: The Girl With Two Faces

Here it is! No, not the story of some lying teenager, despite the title. Bodyshock! or Freakshow! as I like to call it.
The girl with two faces was actually a baby born in India to a very poor family. It often seems to be the case that these strange phenomenons happen to very underprivileged people. Or maybe they just need Channel 4's cash more.
It was interesting that the baby was celebrated as a goddess when she was born, over here they'd probably chuck her in the dustbin. They celebrated her difference as being special and godly, not peculiar and ugly. She didn't look that freaky, just like those sheep you sometimes see on page three of the Daily Mail.
What are the advantages to having two faces? I guess seeing through four eyes could be handy. Unfortunately she might also be 'in two minds' (crap puns r us). It's not too healthy to have two faces so she needed an op to see exactly what she did or didn't have two of.
Before this could happen, however, she became gravely ill, due to being malnourished. Then the family faffed around instead of admitting her to hospital and she became close to death. She started to improve but then died of a massive heart attack. Oh.
I suppose it's better in a way. It wouldn't have been easy to grow up like that. The families' grief was no less real though. The priest refusing to do the funeral because they were of a lower caste than him was gross.
This freakshow was alright, but I prefer the adult freaks, as you get more of a personal angle. Until next time...