|WHY OH WHY?|
Laura does seem like someone who is going to get fat in the house. No shade as my entire diet is bread and potatoes, ha.
Evelyn speaks! God, Emma (twin, although host, too) is so bugging. 'Make friends.' Fuck off.
Georgina's cake is the final straw for her. 'I take an insult as a personal criticism.' I take it as a compliment. They could have shown the fucking cake.
Natalie: BORING. Zzzz.
Marco is after Emma now. EHEHEHEHEH. She's got FAKE BOOBS. Unnatural. 'I want to eat you up.'
Ryan REALLY fancies Hughie. I still feel like the boiler suits are quite boybandy. We've not seen a proper gay showmance have we? Mark and Christopher were really tame. We didn't even get to see the kiss thanks to Big Brother's crappy camerawork. OMG Ryan is joking about Hughie? OR he he covering for the fact Hughie isn't into him. I not only don't know, I don't care. Who would you have sex with out of Ryan or Hughie if you were a gay man? I think Hughie. But what about the rat hair?
Chelsea about Jayne: 'She is a lying fucking bitch.' Charming. Natalie is stirring the pot, haha. 'Dirty whore.' Dirty whore! Really? What a douche. I hate him FOREVER NOW. FOREVER.
Ryan has slept with a Chelsea football player. Bhahaha.
I love how miserable Georgina is. She's a one woman 'gate'. Hoodie gate. She hates Andy. 'Hoodie investigation.' Andy is so pissy as well. I'm surprised they're not friends. Lateysha is not happy to be woken up. I liked Georgina rulebooking her.
Andy and Jackson are an airtime void. NON-ENTITIES. Marco isn't getting much airtime this episode, which is great for his game. Georgina needs a stress ball. I haven't even seen a stress ball in five years. We must get to the bottom of hoodiegate and cakegate.
Marco philosophising on Georgina's mental health. 'I used to be a bit of a princess.' LOLOLOL. I LOVE MARCO. 'I will leave you with that.' Kisses fingers. 'Offsies.' OFFSIES.
I note the BBUK hashtag isn't trending AS USUAL. Losers.
Andy is LITERALLY wringing his hands. 'It's like every day you're going from one thing that's annoyed you to the next.' That is what LIFE IS. Andy is a one man shrug.
Marco loves his fiancé to pieces. Andy is talking to him like he's a toddler. He's determined to stop Marco and Laura having sex for some reason. KILLJOY. Text proposal. Class.
Andy is dressing in drag to prove he's not boring. It's not working. I'MNOTBORING.
Jackson: 'Georgina looks right mardy half the time.' True that. 'Street kid loses again.' Ha. Why is he so sure Georgina is going? 'I'm Aladdin and she's Princess Jasmine.' Cringe. I still love Jackson.
Why is Lateysha wooden spooning about the hall pass? Zzzz.
Ryan and Hughie. Rughie? Hyan? They're gonna fuck, hundo.
I'm marvelling at Marco's tattoos in HD. Andy is worried about Marco's perception. Hahahaha. Pull the other one, mate. Marco actually listens to this crap from Andy, which I find mind-boggling. Andy is worrying about women being subjugated. Some women like being subjugated so STFU. Jut ask Andrew (Masterplan! Rented mansion! Racist tweets!) I don't presume to know how gay men want to be treated. Marco just said 'two to tangle.' OMG. That will be in stone from now on.
Finally this others shit ends. So tedious. Hope they don't fuck up the feed this time.
Evelyn just said 'Hughie looks annoying, though.' BHAHAHAHA. She'll learn to love him like we do.
Why is Jayne introducing herself? 'Dementia' awareness campaigner.' Haha. Charlie: 'I love you, Jason, I'm sorry.' Great, another showmance! Jason looks AGOG! That is genuine shock. OMG he's crying. Amazing. That was something real that just happened, believe it or not.
Oh, the others shit didn't actually end. Dear GOD.
Here we go. Ooh, Georgina got SOME cheers. Even Marco did. Cue cards!
Fuckeries, Marco is out. I hate you all. Marco: 'Boo more!' Yeaaaaaaahhhh. That's £3 down the drain. I hate vote to evict sooooo much! CRAP. Vote to evict is just a passport for floaters, a DEADWOOD paradise.
Aw, Marco is surprised to be out and not taking it personally. He's already rubbing his nose.
So should I be happy that after 15 years or whatever Marco is the first man to be evicted first? I suppose I should. Girl power. Sigh.
OMG I only just noticed Marco's trousers. Amaze. Leopard print leggings. And the SHOES.
Emma lambasting Marco for 'having fun on night two.' Emma is slut-shaming Marco. Hahaha! FOR GOD'S SAKE. I would have paid money to see him fuck in the DR chair.
Emma; 'You've got to rein it in.' Why tell a housemate to rein it in? REIN IT OUT. Is it rein or reign? I'm drunk.
Marco: 'Big Brother told me about Kim and my court case.' HAHAHAHA. What a fucking JOKE. That will be cut out of tomorrow's edited highlights.
Marco: 'Is she here?' about his fiance. Emma: 'No, she's not.' She enjoyed that. She is SUCH a square.
Marco is gutted. DRY MOUTH. At least he got the wub wubs on his best bits. Haha squeezing lemon in his eye in his best bits. YES! Marco's laugh gets a best bits of it's own. 'Cool cats'. LOL.
WHERE'S THE COCAINE? Not for Marco, for me, having to cope with these shitty housemates.
Chelsea: 'You've taken my best friend away.' about Marco. Shut up, you dirty whore. Jackson: 'Georgina's only a girl. Marco's my boy.' FUCK OFF! I'm so disappointed in him.
FFS. I hate this series. Podcast tomoz. Thanks for the emotional support.