Evening! I'm so glad it's not a real eviction, but a fake eviction. Let's hope we see some Gina and Dexter style magic with Liz and Dappy in the bolthole. Or the bunghole, as my boyfriend has renamed it.
Casey: 'He's not done anything with Jasmine.' Er...
Is Liz wearing Ollie Locke's onesie?
Cats are cats, and dogs are dogs and Jim Davidson's a dick. What's going on under that tin foil, though? Lee has mistaken a space blanket for a wank shield.
Jim on the 'lovebirds': 'Sounded like he was whisking an omelette.' What sex act sounds like that!?
Evander listing his children beginning with E. Nothing could ever top the vain-gloriousness of Jermajesty.
LOL to the woman in the audience saying Dappy's a 'sort'.
I can't work out if I like this alien task or not. I like things to do with aliens in general. I like Alex Jones and Richplanet. Dappy has gone to smash some shit up. He thinks he's Will Smith in Independence Day. I love that Liz is Dappy's damsel in distress. Look at the way he threw himself into that task. I love Dappy! Except for the fact he said 'bent'. But they never showed that. So they must love Dappy, too.
Oh fuck me, not the electric shocks again. Ha, this is quite funny, actually. Liz Jones is being a good sport. I think she's enjoying the electric buzz. I like Dappy's urgency to win.
Dappy agog that Jasmine's sex tape could be 43 minutes long. 'What were you doing for that much time, baby?' Says it ALL, bruv!
Fucking hell, man, look at that audience, it's like the Jeremy Kyle audience just kicked off the zombie apocolypse.
Shopping list woes! Ha to Liz calling Luisa stupid. It ALWAYS kicks off! Lee giving Casey high fives now. Lordy.
Lee: 'I hate drama.' Sure creates enough of it. He needs condoms; is that for Jasmine or Casey? I don't think he's fussed. He's NOT attractive, why is he swanning round like the big 'I am'! He's behaving like such a douche he's making Dappy look well-mannered.
Jim and Lionel doing panto talk. They are going in deep with the characters. I don't think Dick Whittington and Buttons are that well thought out.
Casey has every right to be mad with Lee. She HAS been played. Lee to Jasmine: 'Please move here.' What a freak. I hope he gets booed to fuck when he comes out.
You know when Casey says something Lee's going to make her out to be a psycho. Lee calling someone else OFF KEY! That's a fucking joke. Even Jasmine says he's led Casey on. Casey shouldn't feel stupid: Lee is the prick here.
Ha, Jim letting the toilet antics out of the bag to Ollie and Sam. LOL. Lee is done for. Ollie is so cute, I love him, onesie or no.
Lee Ryan: 'Upset about what?' UPSET THAT YOU'RE A CUNT! You were rubbing your willy on her, you fucking pig. Casey could win off the back of this shit, I tell you. She's a sweet thing. Lee has traded in a nice girl for a sex cyborg.
Ha, they're chanting 'get Lee out.' He's actually gone red. He looks sick! I love it! About time they're chanting a MAN'S name for once! Haha, it was so loud, too. His face is an absolute picture.
Poor Casey thinks she's going to get evicted because she's chained to Lee. Talk about a double slap in the face.
Look at Evander eating his apple as he's hearing the eviction results. He's just chilling.
Lee, stop saying 'I love you' to a girl you don't love. Lee, you take a breather, you fucking prick. OMG he's being so out of order. What an arse. 'You're not my girlfriend.' Fuck off.
Bi convo. All four of these people are bi. Even Lee Ryan is trying to jump on the bi bandwagon. Ollie is claiming first bi dibs on a reality show. Is that true? Poor Ollie can't get none cos girls think he's gay. I'm bi-friendly, Ollie. I'll give you a chance.
OH MY GOD, my cat just brought in an ALIVE mouse! I had to round up two cats, pick it up in a dustpan and brush and run outside with no shoes on in the rain, hide it in a bush (it was in shock but moving) and come back and shut the cats in. My heart is POUNDING! Who knows what's happening in Big Brother now! Fuck me. That was stress. I need some valium. Ok, unpause the TV. Thank God, for Sky Plus or I'd have just thrown the mouse across the fence and ran back in, ha.
I can't watch Lee snogging Cruella. She's like a less likeable Carla Connor. Luisa, Lee and Jasmine haven't got a soul between them. Is Jasmine's specialty crawling into the toilet with Lee? She must be desperate, either that or she really likes Aquafresh. Lee's 'taps on' trick isn't really working, is it?
How come Ollie is deemed 'safe' to sleep with the girls? That bi card gets you some currency. It's so obvious Lee and Casey will go in the bolthole. Bet Jasmine says she never fancied him the second he leaves.
Lee: 'It's not you, it's me.' Well, that's true. Ha to Dappy and Liz getting cheered. Look at Liz's eye make up. She looks like Joan Collins.
Casey and Lee got the boot... well the bolt. If this was for real, Casey would have the right to be LIVID. Liz and Dappy would have been better.
They need to speed up this leaving bit. It's like Big Brother Australia, they're leaving so slow. Poor Casey, she looks stoic. Ha, she looked mad as hell coming out those doors. This is pure hilarity.
Casey's BOOBS! Haha, Lee didn't look too happy to be going back in. 'I hate you lot.' Emma: 'They feel the same about you.'
Bet Casey gets off with him again! Lee is a rotter. This should be good TV, anyway. They really seem to hate each other. Lee: 'I hate the way I'm being perceived.' Yes, it's probably just the editing, you jug-eared twonk. If Casey plays this right, she could really come out on top. Lee is done for and he knows it.
Ha, they're all talking about Lee already and Casey and Lee are watching. I think Lee and Casey are going to bond. Ha, Jasmine is rich, saying Lee is hurting someone! 'It's kind of a relief for me.' And there it ends. Too good. Live feed, please!
PS: No podcast til the weekend cos he's working! Sorry and thanks for spreading the word, one of ours got 550 listens. That's probably more than sales of the last Blue tune.