Big Brother 2011 - I miss Jeremy Kyle so much

Who's buying Jay's friendliness towards Aaron? Not I! Mind you, at least he pretends. They should have played 'Why Can't I Wake Up With You' into the house this morning, Aaron would have appreciated that.

Aaron is irked the winner isn't getting the full 100K. I wonder why. Mind you, I suppose you would be in a way. Aaron is being a bit mean saying they're all putting on a performance. Because he is, too.

I haven't seen much of Louise's 'rebel without a cause' act. Where's that in the highlights show?

If they're going to do a bit of fashion filler, they need to do a full five minutes on Aaron's fleece. Tom has the best dress sense. I like what Alex wears as well. Jay dresses like a Ken doll trying to be a bit edgy. Anything's better than Faye in her beige towel.

There's Aaron's teacher fleece in the sauna! Quick, throw it on the hot coals whilst he's not looking.

Louise is doing her Miss World speech: 'as a model I don't get to help people.' Oh STFU. Alex works in McDonalds and you're moaning about being a model. You're not in Big Brother to save the whale so stop bullshitting.

I'm glad Aaron didn't hear Alex and Louise eulogising Jeremy Kyle and Louis Walsh or steam might have been coming out of his ears.

Seriously, Aaron thinks he's entitled to that fucking 100k. But he's not stupid. He's not going to take any big prize. He'll be on the tenner, mark my words.

Where's the independant adjudicator? I don't trust Jay's lottery balls. I prefer set of balls number 6 and Guinevere, myself.

It's true that if Alex has the mega bucks, she can probably be trusted to split it honestly. I think if Aaron had got them it would have been bad gameplay, bad luck, bad everything. It could hurt Alex having the £30K.

I preferred the Barbie talk to the David Cameron talk. Jay doesn't like football!? He just went up in my estimation, I thought he was a classic football thug.

Tom is twitching about Alex having that 30 grand. Surely Big Brother isn't going to let them get away with that splitting it skullduggery.

Is Aaron retarded? Of course Big Brother isn't going to sort out giving you ten grand each, Big Brother shouldn't even ALLOW you to do ten grand each.

Tom's been quite amusing tonight, I've quite enjoyed his one-liners.

I wouldn't let ANYONE suck my toe, or suck ANYONE'S toe. Jay smirking at Tom's body; I'd rather fuck Tom than Jay. Aaron has the best body, actually, I think it's quite nice, and I liked his pants, too. Good on him gyrating on Tom; do you think he would have done that if Faye was there? I bet not!

Tom and Alex's conversation was interesting: they're both skirting round the issue. Tom seems to have got it sussed, he's not going to do well. It will be him or Louise out next.

Louise is coming on a bit strong! Hold the vicar. It's just sexual frustration.

Tom to Aaron: 'you're such a glum bastard.' True.