My TV is taping things 15 minutes late and screwed me out of 15 mins of TV Burp! Mean.
Why does Dermot wear that same gross suit every week? And why is Louis wearing the same outfit?
Cher's on first! Death box. I think her eyebrows are getting a bit out of hand. She needs to modify her stencil. OMG I hate this fucking song so much. Fuck Alicia Keys to hell. There's some cunt on a rickshaw. Why? Who is she being cuddled by? I think Brian Friedman needs to get off the crack. Cher looks pretty; she was a bit off but she's alright.
Dannii looks like she's come out wearing a blankee. We have a shiny blankee like that. When I wrap myself up in it, I feel like a Quality Street.
Cher- don't agree with Simon's criticism, especially in that slot, love.
Dermot has now pointed out he's wearing the same thing as Louis, thereby making my observation null and void.
Mary is off as well, she seems nervous. She's out of time and out of tune. I hope the judges don't soft-soap her. But they will. I can picture Mary running a wing in Holloway. Looks like she wants to go home to me. Ooh, Dannii's hair looks better tonight. Mind you,it couldn't have looked worse.
I see Simon hasn't got his sparkly poppy on tonight, but the common-or-garden paper poppy.
My Bt Vision box just screwed up. Better not have lost me Aiden!
Katie's still not done her roots. Even I'm getting mine done this week. This performance is too copycat in my opinion. It's like Stars in Your Eyes. They should bring back Stars in Your Eyes. Harry Hill could present it.
I like Katie crying on the bed in the background, very moving. Her outfit looks awful! Her hair looks gross. I don't think leather trousers look good on anyone. And waistcoats are rank.
Wow, we just saw the Alexandra Palace fireworks from our window! It was loads more entertaining than the X Factor.
AIDEN. Swoon. I don't think he's ever looked better. Don't set him on fire. He is literally smouldering. He is smiling, but it's scary smiling. He missed all the best lines out of that song. Sinead O Connor isn't a yank. My boyf says it Prince. I don't remember him ever singing it.
Paige: some of this got cut off by my BT Vision box but I liked the Outcast bit and I hate that song.
What is Rebecca singing? It sounds boring as fuck. Her eyebrows look ginormous too. She looks good though, and I know she's a good singer, I just find her a bit boring now. I'm not sure she's going to go as far as the judges think. I'm not sure 'eulogies' from the judges should be so praised either!
Wagner seems to be singing better this week than normal, to be honest. My mum will be going mad because she loves Elvis but I'm not bothered. Wagner: 'If sometimes I sing out of tune or out of time, I'm only human.' if only the other contestants could be so honest.
Matt. OMG I hate this song, it makes me want to retch. and it's grammatically incorrect. Does Matt look a bit like Derren Brown? Everyone's crying. Stop snivelling, Matt! Louis stop pointing that biro at everyone. I also don't think Matt will go as far as the judges say.
This song Treyc is singing reminds me of Jade Goody dying. Her and Tweed danced to it at their wedding and I watched the whole harrowing thing and nearly ended up in hospital that day so it's got bad memories.
One Direction. It's all a bit Glee for my liking. Have they hit puberty yet?
That's all folks. See you for Shayne Ward tomorrow. And that bit of Harry Hill I missed.