Interviews are horrible. if someone asks you to do an impression of a reverse pterodactyl (I didn't know it was spelt like that either) and then moans at you when you do, what are you going to do? I just tend to think the person who asks you is a cunt.
And so, the final five. I thought Lucinda did quite well in the interviews, she kept her cool well, unlike Alex who on finding pouting didn't work, went a bit red and looked like he was going to nut someone. It's not a good idea to get angry with the person interviewing you, Alex. I know it's hard work being beautiful, bless you.
Claire, Claire, Claire. Someone at work dared to claim she 'wasn't smug' the other day. Not SMUG? She's smugger than Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Richard Madeley combined. I was not surprised to learn she used to be a holiday rep, she has that exact patronising insincerity down to a tee.
Lee... I just can't warm to him. He is just your typical Nuts/football/lager-with-the-lads tosspot that I spend my life trying to circumnavigate. Was it bad he lied on his CV? Yes. But I guess thick people have to.
Helene... she probably would work hard at the job. How boring.
Alex came across as a prize grass at the end when he dobbed in Lucinda for being flaky about wanting the job. I was amused when he described himself as a 'partially painted canvas'. What a wanker. Just pout and shut it!
And so in a final twist Alan only sent Lucinda home rather than three of them as promised. There doesn't seem to be much between them... but I suspect Claire will get it. Frankly, by next week I won't give a FUCK because of BIG BRUVVVVVVVVVVVVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I can't bloody wait (until they make a total pig's ear out of it, as always).
8 comments:
Ah sweetie, yes, we all knew how to spell pterodactyl. At least all of us boys who were obsessed with dinosaurs from the age of 8 to 11. Bless you.
The big kids used to steal my books and only give 'em back to me once I'd successfully spelled a few dinosaur names. It never occurred to me then that they NEEDED the books in order to check the spellings. DUMMIES! (Not you.)
Lucinda can come and work for us. We like her, and she's the only one of the last five we'd trust in our business, funnily enough, though I accept that it's a different biz to Sralan's.
Alex was a grassing cunt, wasn't he?
The two blokes self-destructed in the interviews and by rights should have been fired. They must have kept them in to avoid a re-run of the same final they've had before - a badger versus a hard knocks kid. If that CV thing had come up in one of the early episodes that guy's feet wouldn't have touched the floor he'd have been out of there so fast. As for Alex, he came over as vacuous. I don't think he's as bad as he seemed, but he just didn't have the cool to deal with those hard interviews. Anyway, the whole thing is despicable. Why don't they have one called The Novice in which saints compete to be new stigmatists or something?
Alex's reverse pterodactyl
would've probably won Britain's Got Talent with that.
it is despicable, despicably stupid.
astterisk, can i come work for you? :-)
probably not if i spell your name like that.
Hehe, that's right. In fact, we couldn't afford Lucinda unless she really doesn't care about the money...
nobody ever needs to worry about spelling ever again, after Alex got into the final with:
i want to be the aperntiss becos i recongize tommorows isshoos (or whatever)
not Alex. the pterodactyl. whatever his name is. i'll just call them all alex from now on.
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