Interviews are horrible. if someone asks you to do an impression of a reverse pterodactyl (I didn't know it was spelt like that either) and then moans at you when you do, what are you going to do? I just tend to think the person who asks you is a cunt.
And so, the final five. I thought Lucinda did quite well in the interviews, she kept her cool well, unlike Alex who on finding pouting didn't work, went a bit red and looked like he was going to nut someone. It's not a good idea to get angry with the person interviewing you, Alex. I know it's hard work being beautiful, bless you.
Claire, Claire, Claire. Someone at work dared to claim she 'wasn't smug' the other day. Not SMUG? She's smugger than Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Richard Madeley combined. I was not surprised to learn she used to be a holiday rep, she has that exact patronising insincerity down to a tee.
Lee... I just can't warm to him. He is just your typical Nuts/football/lager-with-the-lads tosspot that I spend my life trying to circumnavigate. Was it bad he lied on his CV? Yes. But I guess thick people have to.
Helene... she probably would work hard at the job. How boring.
Alex came across as a prize grass at the end when he dobbed in Lucinda for being flaky about wanting the job. I was amused when he described himself as a 'partially painted canvas'. What a wanker. Just pout and shut it!
And so in a final twist Alan only sent Lucinda home rather than three of them as promised. There doesn't seem to be much between them... but I suspect Claire will get it. Frankly, by next week I won't give a FUCK because of BIG BRUVVVVVVVVVVVVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I can't bloody wait (until they make a total pig's ear out of it, as always).