Wednesday, 30 April 2008

The Apprentice: 'I'm sorry your 11-yr-old daughter got stabbed by a hoodie' card

Oh my god! Why isn't Harry Hill on at the moment? That was the best quote ever, and I just know Harry would have made up that card along with 'I'm sorry your husband got beaten to a pulp'. What the fuck is Sir Alan on? I think he's lost his mind! Maybe he forgot to take his grumpy pills and just went mental.
So to start with he put the two bumbling idiots in charge, the male Nikki-Grahame and Matt Lucas. The ideas for the cards were truly bloody awful... the flaws were pretty obvious for all to see. What sort of prick would send someone a card (of all things) preaching about the environment?
I'm especially loving Rafe at the moment, he's AMAZING. Everything he says is pure gold. He looked in his element when Myleene was playing the piano, I bet he slipped her some smooth lines later. I liked it when he stuck up for Sara at the end too, I have no idea why everyone was having a go at her, Jenny should clearly have gone, the witch-faced harridany old hag. Matt Lucas deserved to get the boot for not taking her into the boardroom with him (and for bragging about his Porsche). Fair enough all either Alex or Sara do is mill about looking pretty, but that'll do me. A least they are not complete bastards.
Claire is particularly awful as well, just wholly unlikeable in any way. I quite like the Irish woman now too.
But anyway. I'm off to buy a 'I'm sorry your boyfriend got dragged under the wheels of a bendy bus' card. Because THAT is relevant to today's world, right, Alan?


Red said...

Haaahaha! That was gold, wasn't it?

I hated the way Barney Rubble jumped on the Sara bandwagon when Fat Colleen started banging on about her not contributing. Like, what did Alex ever do that was so great? Had Barney had a spine, he would have taken Ginger McChin into the boardroom for coming up with the stoopidest idea I've ever heard. And then, they both should have been fired.

I was looking forward to never seeing those too-close-together beady eyes of his, and then this morning I turned on the news and there he was! Enough to make me gag on my morning coffee.

Raef is now my hero, and I want him to win.

* (asterisk) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
* (asterisk) said...

Don't diss Alex, Red -- not after that beautiful greeting-card poem he wrote. The man's a fucking literary genius! (Unlike me, who had to delete the comment above cos it was writ rong.)

lightupvirginmary said...

'what did alex ever do that was so great?'
Generally just looked gorgeous I believe! :-)

Red said...

Alex's mouth must be rotten on the inside, with all that nervous cheek-chewing he does. Decaying breath ahoy!