Wednesday 5 March 2008

Am I Still Ill?


If I were you, I'd be bored by my various illnesses, I really would. I'm not even a hypochondriac, they are genuine. This is the worst bout of tonsillitis I've EVER had. I feel like it could be terminal tonsillitis. I have had no food since Saturday, and have slept on the couch, melting into it, every night. The only thing saving me from suicide is chocolate Frijj. Mmm, Frijj. So cold on the back of my throat.
Unfortunately, Frijj can only do so much in the face of Jeremy Kyle. I can't stop watching it! It's like an addiction to shutting your hand in the door, no good can come of it. Look at his angry little face. Look at the way he crouches at the side of the stage in his cheap suit. He just said 'I detest bullies.' What?! Look at the way he shouts LIAR! at people. Has he never lied? He married some 16 year old or something. He left his wife for her.
That may not be true. But it's something like the truth. Deal with it, Kyle. That trphy wife aint gonna stick around forever. PS. you're a cunt.
Maury is so much better. He appears to care.
In other news, I finished Russell Brand's book. I'll write about that when I'm feeling a bit better.

3 comments:

Ossian said...

Don't you get to have hot whiskey? Put it in tea. It doesn't cure anything, but it makes you forget.

I have no tonsils. They were cut out when I was five. They say if a kid has tonsils out, he's seven times more likely to also, erm, let me just check...er...

Ossian said...

you should take multi-vitamins, if you're not going to eat the right kind of food. they always say you can get enough vitamins out of normal eating, but you are not on normal eating, so you should take multi-vitamins. i know this is a bore.

lightupvirginmary said...

I do, I do take vitamins, and I've recently started drinking green tea. I don't know if vitamins can counteract the damage I do to myself. But hey. It's a start.