Making fun of the mentally ill. OK. Making fun of the fat, the stupid, the deluded. That I can cope with. I can laugh along too, oh yes.
But what I can't abide, or really get to grips with, is the judges (and Ryan Seacrest) looking younger and younger each year. But hold on, Simon looks different on X Factor. His whole head looks squarer. I was in the audience of Britain's Got Talent only last year and he looked like a different person. He's more of a chameleon than Morrissey, except Morrissey doesn't guzzle botox for breakfast. And Morrissey is less gay.
Simon looks a bit gaunt on Idol. And what has happened to Randy? He went from chubster, to skinny Yoda, to rotund again. A gastric bypass is serious op, how did he eat his way up again? Still, I like lovely chocolatey Randy, and his sideburns. I like Simon berating Paula. Sharon wouldn't let him get away with that shit.
I've been listening to a Conor Oberst live bootleg this week, and I've never been happier we don't have country music here. But I'm yet to hear someone auditioning with Bright Eyes on Idol. I thought they were big over there! Come on... we're ready to sing along.