I have never seen The Apprentice before but my boyfriend likes the American version so we gave it a go. Everyone seems to rave about it for some reason, the same reason they enjoy watching Gordon Ramsey's wrinkly foreheaded bellowing at people, I presume.
So I watched. And what I saw was a bunch of tossers, the kind of people you'd go out of your way to avoid at work, droning on about 'giving it 120 percent' and 'you gotta step up to the plate'. Just fuck off! In fact these people weren't just tossers, they were SUPER tossers. Pudgy women squeezed into ill fitting suits, balding bespectacled men who think having a snazzy car in the drive makes up for them being a first-class cunt. Well, it doesn't. And I don't want to watch it.
This programme makes me think about work. It makes me think about all the very worst parts of office life, and business, and business people. Soulless people who only want to 'win' and win what? More money. Money is so boring! Money even makes people boring. I'm not saying I don't like my laptop living in the flat that I do. I'm not saying I'd say no to more money. But people who dedicate their life to the relentless pursuit of more and more and more money are quite simply, dullards. These people aren't artistic, or creative, or even interesting. In every one of them you can see the bullied little child screaming for attention.
And of course, you can see this in Alan Sugar. Strangely I find him neither offensive, or loathsome, or funny, or interesting. He is just nothingy. He is Simon Cowell without the barbs or the laughs. He has an angry little face despite his piles of money. So what's the fucking point?
I hate the bit at the end where he moans at them and they all try and pin the blame on each other. It is revolting to watch humans being so desperate. I don't want to hear people shouted at. It makes me cringe. If someone shouted at me like that, I'd tell them to go shove it.
There's a couple of things more important than money, believe it or not, and one of them is self-respect. The other is Galaxy caramel eggs, so enjoy them while they last, that's what I say.